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Downright rude, obnoxious and generally insulting things to say

Discussion in 'Non-Diving Related Stuff' started by ShakaZulu, Aug 13, 2004.

  1. ShakaZulu

    ShakaZulu Great White

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: San Diego, CA
    3,760
    10
    0
    Here we go, some material for you Scuba Board peeps

    Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
    Are your parents siblings?
    As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
    Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
    Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
    Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
    Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
    Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?
    You not stupid; you're possessed by a retarded ghost.
    Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
    I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ***.
    I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
    I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against millions of others...
    I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
    I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
    I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
    If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.
    If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
    If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
    If what you don't know can't hurt you, then you are invulnerable.
    If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill a smarty.
    So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
    Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't!
     
  2. Boogie711

    Boogie711 Loggerhead Turtle

    2,549
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    I think the most insulting thing anyone could say to me is "Is that a Pony Bottle clip next to your Air2?"


    :eyebrow:
     
  3. Otter

    Otter ScubaBoard Supporter ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: SoCal (native)
    3,324
    11
    0
    Similar to yours, I read this some where and promptly entered them into my organizer for future reference....

    1) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your
    unique point of view.
    2) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
    3) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
    4) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
    5) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
    6) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
    7) What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
    8) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
    9) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
    10) Ahhh...I see the f**k-up fairy as visited us again...
    11) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
    12) It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
    13) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
    14) No, my powers can only be used for good.
    15) How about never? Is never good for you?
    16) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
    17) You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
    18) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
    19) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
    20) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
    21) Who me? I just wander from room to room.
    22) My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
    23) It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular
    level I'm really quite busy.
    24) At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
    25) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
    26) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
    27) Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
     
  4. cornfed

    cornfed Mindless lemming

    2,533
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    Jeff, are you still looking for purple split fins that won't clash with your HUB?
     
  5. Boogie711

    Boogie711 Loggerhead Turtle

    2,549
    1
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    I found a great set, but now my ankle weights don't match. It's a rough life, I'm telling you.

    By the way - did you know you can get these great little camoflage brackets for your spare air now? I figure they'll be great for letting me sneak around incognito when I solo dive.
     
  6. ShakaZulu

    ShakaZulu Great White

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: San Diego, CA
    3,760
    10
    0
    I'm still sticking with these.............

    http://www.walmart.com/catalog/prod...71&product_id=2608162&path=0:4171:14521:60306
     
  7. Boogie711

    Boogie711 Loggerhead Turtle

    2,549
    1
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    Cool... Wal-Mart is selling Force Fins for about 1/20th the cost of a LDS... hmmm... might have to get a set to supplement my split fins.
     
  8. mempilot

    mempilot Rebreather Pilot

    2,489
    3
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  9. miketsp

    miketsp Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: São Paulo, Brazil
    3,468
    121
    63
    Sounds like a good trick to make sure his buddy remembers who he's diving with.

    :rofl:
     
  10. cornfed

    cornfed Mindless lemming

    2,533
    11
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    Are you using the nitrox or trimix spare air?
     

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