My first OW dive was with 42lb's of lead (don't ask me why). Now I dive the same conditions with 28lb's, and that's with twin Al 80's.
My advice sen would be to avoid the people you don't feel comfortable with and stick with the ones who want to spend the time working with you (like IVS). Diving is one of those activities that brings out the best, and the worst, in people.
I am speechless....cannot imagine any instructor or dive leader that would go there.
Our divers average 6 to 8 pounds at checkout. THe physics don't lie!