[Kat]

Travel Alert:
Souhwest Airlines Announces "Two Seat Purchase Requirements For Wide-bodied Passengers"

You may have heard about Southwests new policy to enforce the fat-people-buy-two-seats rule. This is to be forwarded to svelt-bodied friends & family only. In case you care to drop 'hints' to those people whom you know may be 'at risk' of violating their new 'fat a$$ pays twice' rule.
However, here are a few questions which SW may expect from said passengers.

1. Will my a$$ require seperate photo ID ( perhaps an A$$port) to board the plane?

2. Will there be a box at the check in counter that I have to shove my a$$ into? (Like the carry-on luggage box) To see if I have to buy a second seat.

3. Can my a$$ take advantage of "companion fares" to travel with me? (After all, we are inseparable)

4. If someone whose a$$ also requires a second seat is traveling on the same plane, can we split the cost of the second seat & just both spill into the middle?

5. Do I get double frequent flyer credit for my a$$? Or does my a$$ require a seperate frequent flyer number?

...and finally, the question SW is sure to assume a "two-seater " might ask:

6. Will I get two snacks and/or meals when I have to buy a second seat for my a$$?