Proof that girls are evil

[Thijsie]

I'll probably be nearly killed by some of the girls here, but still, the girls in my class, and all of my teachers could laugh over it :D
Until my training starts in april, I'll probably stick to this forum alot.

[mike_s]

post that in the "womens views" section.... heh :)

[cudachaser]

Words of wisdom

[Thijsie]

Glad you like it too!

post that in the "womens views" section.... heh :)
Nah, that'd be to evil, certain death maybe even :hideing_b

[Walter]

Three points.

First, your assumptions are wrong. Girls requiring time and money does not make them the same as time and money.

Second, if your assumption was correct and girls were the same as time & money, that would make the equation "girls = time + money" not "time x money."

Finally, it is not money that is the root of all evil, but the love of money.

[DA Aquamaster]

Finally, it is not money that is the root of all evil, but the love of money.So...the love of girls = evil?

[Walter]

Nope. The math is wrong.

[Thijsie]

Come on, it's funny, isn't it?
"Jokes are funny because they make no sense" Me, 5 mins ago

[Spragg01]

Come on . . . :bash: Is there a simley for "fun-sponge?"

[mike_s]

How about this...

You can't buy happiness, but you sure can rent it for a litle while....

[Scubakevdm]

Actually, if you want to get technical about it, 'girls' is not equal to 'evil'. 'Girls times girls' is equal to 'evil'. I think that this post is indicitive of our failing educational system, and is therefore, very sad and not funny at all. If you would have gotten it correct it would have been funny. As it stands now though, a girl by herself is not evil, only a part of evil.

[MoonWrasse]

Actually, if you want to get technical about it, 'girls' is not equal to 'evil'. 'Girls times girls' is equal to 'evil'. I think that this post is indicitive of our failing educational system, and is therefore, very sad and not funny at all. If you would have gotten it correct it would have been funny. As it stands now though, a girl by herself is not evil, only a part of evil.
"our" failing educational system?
Somehow I just can't imagine you in wooden shoes :D

[Cacia]

okay, funny story. I am telling someone on the phone about this boat captain who says he has taken off for a little trip to a certain place in SE Asia for a "haircut" I think the guys call it. He asks me what I am talking about and I explain that I cannot talk about it because my son is in the car. So, I get off the phone and my son says "you know, I am old enough for you to explain this stuff" So...I think maybe he is right and I am explaining the prostitution trade in some places and I say it is not legal here. Then he says "well, what if you have a girlfriend and you just feel like giving her some money?".....well it is sort of on topic, isn't it?

and what should I have said to that?

[Diver Dennis]

You could tell him it's the same thing if your girlfriend gives some money to you...;)

[Scubakevdm]

"our" failing educational system?
Somehow I just can't imagine you in wooden shoes :D
Actually, my sister is Dutch. I'm the only American kid in our family.

[Cacia]

excellent, I like that. brilliant. I don't think he has been exposed to women giving money to men.

[MoonWrasse]

You could tell him it's the same thing if your girlfriend gives some money to you...;)
Nah, that's even better IMO - pays for my boat trips :D

[ItsBruce]

Now for some of my own math, to bring this back on topic. Scubakevdm said: "'Girls times girls' is equal to 'evil'." That equtes to 'girls squared is equal to evil.' Applying proper grammar to this, it becomes square girls are evil. By negative implication, girls who are not squares are not evil. Experience teaches that girls who are not squares are lots of fun.
QED

[dbg40]

Evil, not evil.......who gives a rats ***???? They are squishy and fun!!

[Spragg01]

Evil, not evil.......who gives a rats ***???? They are squishy and fun!!

At the risk of going too far . . . . Discover Magazine published an article on the hydrodynamics and physiology of dolphins and related a study in which a Russian team, to test a theory that the softness of dolphin skin was a contributing factor in delaying the onset of turbulent flow, towed naked female volunteers through a pool. Their working theory was that women, being "softer" than men, would maintain laminar flow at higher speeds. I don't know if they had a male group as a control or not, though. Great article, btw. Feb Issue, I think. No pictures. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to drag my knuckles back to my cave.

[Scubakevdm]

At the risk of going too far . . . . Discover Magazine published an article on the hydrodynamics and physiology of dolphins and related a study in which a Russian team, to test a theory that the softness of dolphin skin was a contributing factor in delaying the onset of turbulent flow, towed naked female volunteers through a pool. Their working theory was that women, being "softer" than men, would maintain laminar flow at higher speeds. I don't know if they had a male group as a control or not, though. Great article, btw. Feb Issue, I think. No pictures.

Very clever scientists!

[Thijsie]

Well, atleast I started a nice new discussion, and question of life :D

[Diver Dennis]

Women, especially those with large breasts , are no where nearly as streamined as Dolphins. The breasts would create a huge amount of turbulance I would think. What were they trying to prove with a test like that?

[Scubakevdm]

Women, especially those with large breasts , are no where nearly as streamined as Dolphins. The breasts would create a huge amount of turbulance I would think. What were they trying to prove with a test like that?

Perhaps we should examine this a bit more closely and conduct our own study. We'll be needing some volunteers.

[KidK9]

That's funny. I love it.

[MoonWrasse]

Women, especially those with large breasts , are no where nearly as streamined as Dolphins. The breasts would create a huge amount of turbulance I would think. What were they trying to prove with a test like that?
Hmmm...real ones or enhanced ones?

Seems to me you could reshape them to provide less turbulance, or provide winglets as seem on the Concordski.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concordski

[DA Aquamaster]

Actually, if you want to get technical about it, 'girls' is not equal to 'evil'. 'Girls times girls' is equal to 'evil'. I think that this post is indicitive of our failing educational system, and is therefore, very sad and not funny at all. If you would have gotten it correct it would have been funny. As it stands now though, a girl by herself is not evil, only a part of evil.As long as girls = 1 then the equation works as 1 squared is still 1 and girl is still equal to evil.

Women however are an entirely different thing from girls.

[Spragg01]

In case anyone's interested:

Fox, Karen C. "Faster Than They Should Be." Discover Magazine Feb. 2006: 22

[Scubakevdm]

As long as girls = 1 then the equation works as 1 squared is still 1 and girl is still equal to evil.

Women however are an entirely different thing from girls.
I thought of that DA. Girls can also equal one or negative one, or zero. I think girls is actually equal to something like 3.36 billion. That would make evil equal to almost 11.29 billion at the time of this writing. Maybe a mod can change the title of this thread to something more accurate like, "Proof That 11.29 Billion is Evil." And here I was thinking the number of the beast was 666.

[Web Monkey]

Was that the Russian Hydrodynamics "Drinking Team" by any chance?

It's a great idea! I wish I thought of it when I was in school.

Terry

[Pyrofish]

So the answer is 42 right?

[Spragg01]

exactly, and yet the article didn't mention a question . . .

Seriously, the most interesting find the article addresses is that dolphins shed their skin at a phenominal rate (they lose their entire outer layer of skin every two hours). The theory is that the shedding skin disrupts vorticies and maintain laminar flow at higher speeds. Cool stuff.

[Trinigordo]

If the women the russians used were a little older their breasts would sag into their arm pits causing way less turbulence and hence closer replication of the swimming dolphins even though not quite as aesthetically pleasing.

[H2Andy]

if women are evil, then men spend most of their lives lusting after evil, chasing
after evil, having carnal relations with evil, losing arguments to evil, and making
child support payments to evil

that doesn't say much about men :wink:

just a thought

[DA Aquamaster]

Andy, a man I really respect once said: "Women are the ruination of man". Then his wife nagged at him and I fully understood the inspiration behind that statement.

[Mafor]

I'll probably be nearly killed by some of the girls here, but still, the girls in my class, and all of my teachers could laugh over it :D
Until my training starts in april, I'll probably stick to this forum alot.

Hey,

I found it to be very funny...

Even if the math is a little of...

see ya
Ma

[Pyrofish]

OK, try this one:
Girls = Time + Money
Time = Money
Girls = 2 * Money
You could just stop there and the proof is obvious. However:
Money = (SQRT evil)
girls/2 = (SQRT evil)
Girls = 2(SQRT evil)

If evil is a familiar 3 digit numeral from fiction:
(SQRT evil) = 25.8 (nearest tenths)
Money = 25.8
Time = 25.8
Girls = 51.6

See, not nearly as funny as the incorrect one! :D

[Spragg01]

Crap. I was really hoping that would come out to 42.

[Pyrofish]

So was I....

It is however proof that:
girls are twice the time, and twice the money
And are the root of all evil once and again. :D

[dbg40]

This is EXTREMETL confusing,, all I know is, I dig chicks!!!

[MoonWrasse]

This is EXTREMETL confusing,, all I know is, I dig chicks!!!
Moonlighting as a gravedigger?

[Thijsie]

Wow, I never thought that people could stray that far from a joke!
Well, I showed it to my maths teacher, and she liked it :)
Now, back to sulking for having a very bad day.

[Supernal]

He's 14, that explains it.

[Hank49]

Women, especially those with large breasts , are no where nearly as streamined as Dolphins. The breasts would create a huge amount of turbulance I would think. What were they trying to prove with a test like that?

What were they trying to prove? One dude probably made a bet with the other that he could get 5 women to take off their clothes and let him drag them through a swimming pool....."No waaaay dude..."

[MoonWrasse]

He's 14, that explains it.
No - he's a boy, that explains it :D

[Thijsie]

I'd rather think that it's funny because I'm a 14 year old boy, in a class with some mean/annoying girls. They liked it too though, soo it must be the age.
Unfortunately, I spotted them smoking today, which is illegal at this age, and I'm trying to make up my mind whether or not I should report it to our teacher. Any tips/help on this one?

[MoonWrasse]

I'd rather think that it's funny because I'm a 14 year old boy, in a class with some mean/annoying girls. They liked it too though, soo it must be the age.
Unfortunately, I spotted them smoking today, which is illegal at this age, and I'm trying to make up my mind whether or not I should report it to our teacher. Any tips/help on this one?
Sure, tomorrow is Valentine's day, get them cards or a chocolate.
They already know smoking is bad, and won't respect you anymore for snitching on them.
Anyway, in 20-30 years they'll be dead from lung cancer, so lighten up :)

[Scubakevdm]

Nobody likes a tattletale.

[Fish_Whisperer]

If women are evil, then I must be a terrible, horrible sinner... LOL

[dlndavid]

Nope. The math is wrong.
it's fuzzy math.

[TheRedHead]

:1book: You men are so hopelessly confused it is laughable. Women's intelligence is so far superior to your own paltry groping for a glimmer of enlightenment, you can't even see tip of the iceberg, muchless the full glory of our machinations. We are the puppetmasters and you, dear boys, are mere puppets.

[dlndavid]

:multi:

[dlndavid]

:happyjaz: :lurk: :clock:

[Fish_Whisperer]

:1book: You men are so hopelessly confused it is laughable. Women's intelligence is so far superior to your own paltry groping for a glimmer of enlightenment, you can't even see tip of the iceberg, muchless the full glory of our machinations. We are the puppetmasters and you, dear boys, are mere puppets.

Oh yes. So right. So right. LMAO

[MoonWrasse]

:1book: You men are so hopelessly confused it is laughable. Women's intelligence is so far superior to your own paltry groping for a glimmer of enlightenment, you can't even see tip of the iceberg, muchless the full glory of our machinations. We are the puppetmasters and you, dear boys, are mere puppets.
:sleeping_

[TheRedHead]

:yleyes:
:sleeping_

[dlndavid]

:lol: :sprint: :burnout:

[H2Andy]

your own paltry groping for a glimmer of enlightenment

oh, THAT's what i was supposed to be groping for...

bugger

:14:

[TheRedHead]

oh, THAT's what i was supposed to be groping for...

bugger

:14:

I can always count on you, Andy, for a clever riposte.

:redbite:

[Hank49]

[QUOTE=redhatmama We are the puppetmasters and you, dear boys, are mere puppets.[/QUOTE]

And what talented puppet masters those women in the pool were too....operating those puppets (named Stevo and Johnny Knoxville...) while looking like THEY were being dragged naked through the water....

[Supernal]

it's fuzzy math.

Or curvy math.

There's a book on women in IT called "Technology with Curves," and, no, they weren't referring to "fully functional" female androids. :D

[TheRedHead]

And what talented puppet masters those women in the pool were too....operating those puppets (named Stevo and Johnny Knoxville...) while looking like THEY were being dragged naked through the water....

:huh:

[Spragg01]

:1book: muchless the full glory of our machinations.

So . . . women are fembots? Calculating, well armed, and evil?

I think that post was an insult, but I only got half way through before my feeble little brain oozed out of my ears (it's in the fridge recongealing :brain:). Look, we men are just trying to make up for the inherent mechanical uncertainty of our patrilineage. Let us grunt in peace. :cwmddd:

[TheRedHead]

If you compare the non-diving posts about women vs. men problems, the men can never figure out what is happening with women. The women always know if their man is a cad, but you guys are truly perplexed.

Women are smart and powerful which make them seem evil to lesser beings such as men.

[H2Andy]

Women are smart and powerful which make them seem evil to lesser beings such as men.

i am not threated by smart, powerful women. in fact, they're the only
kind to have around (since they're the only ones who match up to
my own smarts and power)

who wants a wimpy girl?

i am H2ANdy.... hear me bubble!

[Jim Ernst]

If you compare the non-diving posts about women vs. men problems, the men can never figure out what is happening with women. The women always know if their man is a cad, but you guys are truly perplexed.

Women are smart and powerful which make them seem evil to lesser beings such as men.
thats very funny, guess the last one taught me way to much, slow learner but once i get it i got it, and boy did i get it!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!:D

[Fish_Whisperer]

I'm with Jim and Andy. I've never felt perplexed or as though I didn't understand. Women are fascinating creatures, although they can often be quite mean to one another for seemingly no reason at all. This, I will admit, is a little perplexing.

[Jim Ernst]

I'm with Jim and Andy. I've never felt perplexed or as though I didn't understand. Women are fascinating creatures, although they can often be quite mean to one another for seemingly no reason at all. This, I will admit, is a little perplexing.couldnt say it better myself,LMAO

[Diver Dennis]

Redhat, smart and powerful women are sexy...;)

[Fish_Whisperer]

Redhat, smart and powerful women are sexy...;)

Amen, Dennis!!

[Spragg01]

Women are fascinating creatures, although they can often be quite mean to one another for seemingly no reason at all. This, I will admit, is a little perplexing.

Reproductive competition.

[Fish_Whisperer]

*flashbacks of the Nature Channel* Ah.... Okay. Got it. ;)

[Spragg01]

Everything I needed to know about sex I learned from David Attenborough.

[MoonWrasse]

i am not threated by smart, powerful women. in fact, they're the only
kind to have around (since they're the only ones who match up to
my own smarts and power)

who wants a wimpy girl?

i am H2ANdy.... hear me bubble!
I see a dominatrix in your life :mischief:

[H2Andy]

I see a dominatrix in your life :mischief:


nooooooooooooooooo thank you

:14:

[Fish_Whisperer]

I like warrior women. If I could marry someone like Xena, I totally would. Be strong, be courageous, be strong enough to be kind and gentle and giving, and hell; LET'S ROMP OUR WAY THROUGH LIFE AND DEVOUR THIS THANG WITH BRIGHT SHINING TEETH!!!!



sorry... got carried away... ;)

[diverdenise]

Well I have three sons, and I have told them, girls cost money, they take up your time, and they stress you out and have cooties, stay away from them. I have never been able to give them a formula, maybe that will work. lol

[H2Andy]

diverdenise, a joke in your honor:

an acient sultan was hurt in love by a woman. she bore him a son and left
for foreign parts.

the sultan raised his son away from all women. he never saw a woman growing up.

on his 18th birthday, his father took him into his capital to show him what the
son would inherit.

"behold that palace," said the sultan. "it shall be yours. behold that marketplace.
it shall be yours, and you will collect a portion of the profits. behold that
broad avenue lined with date palms; it shall be yours."

at that point, two young women passed by, looking at the son, who was quite
handsome.

"what are those, father?"

"those are evil vipers. they will poison you. stay way from them."

to distract him, the sultan said, "my son, of all the things you've seen today,
i shall give you one as your birthday present. what would you like?"

"father," said the son, "I want the evil vipers, even if they poison me."

[dpbishop]

Here's what I don't understand about women. They say we are simple. We are. They say we only want one thing. We do. So all they have to do is give us as much of that one thing as we can possible do and we would do anything for them. But they don't. :280:

[H2Andy]

So all they have to do is give us as much of that one thing as we can possible do and we would do anything for them.


no, that's not true. if that's the only "reward," we get, we get bored easily and go off
in search of greener pastures

sexuality is an important component of male-female relationships, but it's a disaster
to base an entire relationship on it

(i know i know... i'm being too serious)

[Supernal]

I like warrior women. If I could marry someone like Xena, I totally would. Be strong, be courageous, be strong enough to be kind and gentle and giving, and hell; LET'S ROMP OUR WAY THROUGH LIFE AND DEVOUR THIS THANG WITH BRIGHT SHINING TEETH!!!!

sorry... got carried away... ;)


Well, you'd have to share her with Gabrielle...no problem, I assume??? ;)

[Fish_Whisperer]

No problem. LMAO!

[Wristshot]

First, the math may be questionable, but it still amuses. Also it reminds me of a proof I once read that proved that Heaven is actually hotter than Hades. Interesting I must say.


Wristshot

[El Orans]

First, the math may be questionable, but it still amuses. Also it reminds me of a proof I once read that proved that Heaven is actually hotter than Hades. Interesting I must say.

WristshotRead all about it: Heaven is actually hotter than Hades (http://www.lhup.edu/~dsimanek/hell.htm)!

[Wristshot]

If you compare the non-diving posts about women vs. men problems, the men can never figure out what is happening with women. Agreed.
Women are smart . . . . And yet, you never hear a man complaining about falling into a toilet.

Men sit approximately 38% as often as women do, but you almost never hear of one falling in. Is it because they are smart enough to look before they sit, or because they are smart enough to realize that if they did fall in, it was their own darn fault for not looking, and nothing positive would come of complaining about it, as that would only point out their own stupidity for sitting without looking?

JW

W

[TheRedHead]

Men sit approximately 38% as often as women do, but you almost never hear of one falling in. Is it because they are smart enough to look before they sit, or because they are smart enough to realize that if they did fall in, it was their own darn fault for not looking, and nothing positive would come of complaining about it, as that would only point out their own stupidity for sitting without looking?


Women don't actually fall into toilets. They just complain to make you feel guility about leaving the seat up. Both men and women do fall into toilets when drunk. I know a girl who once peed on her porch because she could not find her house key on her key ring. Yet, those incidents are the exceptions.

[Hank49]

:huh: redhatmama, I was referring to this post:

At the risk of going too far . . . . Discover Magazine published an article on the hydrodynamics and physiology of dolphins and related a study in which a Russian team, to test a theory that the softness of dolphin skin was a contributing factor in delaying the onset of turbulent flow, towed naked female volunteers through a pool. Their working theory was that women, being "softer" than men, would maintain laminar flow at higher speeds. I don't know if they had a male group as a control or not, though. Great article, btw. Feb Issue, I think. No pictures. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to drag my knuckles back to my cave.

Johnny Knoxville and Stevo were from the show Jackass. It sounded like one of their ploys to get women naked. :D

[Diver Dennis]

I got it Hank. Was Butterbean there too? :D