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View Full Version : worlds shortest joke
scubadog76 January 8th, 2003, 12:57 AM A man walks into his phyciatrists office wearing nothing but a pair of underwear made of saran-wrap. The dr. takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts". ---- Thanks, your too kind, I'll be in town all week. -SCUBADOG76 gmbaker January 8th, 2003, 08:21 AM along similar lines.. A man walks into a bar and says ouch..... scubadog76 once bubbled... A man walks into his phyciatrists office wearing nothing but a pair of underwear made of saran-wrap. The dr. takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts". ---- Thanks, your too kind, I'll be in town all week. -SCUBADOG76 ghosty January 8th, 2003, 12:34 PM Good one. HEHEHEH JeffG January 8th, 2003, 01:22 PM A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants... The Bartender states "Mr Pirate you seem to have a steering wheel stuck in your pants" (Now in your best pirates voice) "Arrr Its drivin Me Nuts" o2 clean January 9th, 2003, 03:19 PM For some reason those had me laughing a bit. Ahh, must be a very slow day! ;) :lol: detroit diver January 9th, 2003, 10:36 PM JeffG once bubbled... A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants... The Bartender states "Mr Pirate you seem to have a steering wheel stuck in your pants" (Now in your best pirates voice) "Arrr Its drivin Me Nuts" That was great! FLL Diver January 9th, 2003, 11:46 PM A man sees a guy walking down the street stark naked with a peanut balanced on his member. He says to the guy "What's wrong with you, are you crazy?" "No" the guy replies, "I'm just effing nuts." Rimshot. Marc :jester: MissAmberDiva January 10th, 2003, 04:23 PM CUTE! ONESPEED May 14th, 2009, 03:05 PM :bump: nategasser February 10th, 2010, 05:59 PM A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar and the bartender says "What is this, a joke?" Scuba Do February 10th, 2010, 09:00 PM along similar lines.. A man walks into a bar and says ouch..... Hmmm. I think that is shorter than the OP. Mopar February 10th, 2010, 10:18 PM :coffee: dmoore19 February 10th, 2010, 10:28 PM What did the fish say when he ran into a concrete wall? .................... Damm shark_tamer February 10th, 2010, 10:29 PM THE oldest and shortest joke .... Take my wife .... please !! AlbertaDan March 2nd, 2010, 02:45 PM Shortest fairy tale Once upon a time a man fell in love and asks the woman to marry him. She says no so the man boats and dives and fishes and lived happily ever after. The End Scuba Do March 3rd, 2010, 07:36 PM Shortest fairy tale Once upon a time a man fell in love and asks the woman to marry him. She says no so the man boats and dives and fishes and lived happily ever after. The End NOW you tell me! Atomic_Diver March 8th, 2010, 12:09 AM Microsoft Works!... njedrn March 8th, 2010, 12:26 AM As told to me by a man being dragged by his wife at a bar... " You know why men die before women right? .............Because they choose to" LOL Atomic_Diver March 8th, 2010, 12:34 AM Global Warming! ibj40 March 8th, 2010, 12:38 AM "Married men live longer." Nope, it just seems that way! ibj40 March 8th, 2010, 05:06 PM In the Matter of M. Mouse v. M. Mouse; to wit: Petition for Divorce “But Your Honor, I didn’t say she was crazy; what I said was that she was f**king Goofy!” shakeybrainsurgeon March 8th, 2010, 06:35 PM http://www.nilacharal.com/enter/celeb/images/TomCruise.jpg He IS short, isn't he? sightpress March 9th, 2010, 08:51 AM hehe funny crowleyW March 9th, 2010, 08:55 AM 2 ladys was riding with a tandem bike and one in the behind drove to to ditch. pelagic_by_nature March 10th, 2010, 12:19 PM I thought, Why does that frisbee look like it's getting bigger?" and then it hit me. mike_s March 10th, 2010, 05:28 PM What's the difference in "Beer Nuts" and "Deer Nuts" ? Beer nuts run about $1.25 Deer nuts are "under a buck". diverdoug1 March 10th, 2010, 05:58 PM A penguin is driving his car through town on a hot summer day, and his air conditioning dies. He pulls into the auto shop and asks the mechanic to take a look at his car. While he is waiting, the penguin decides to go for lunch. When the penguin gets back to the garage, the mechanic says "It looks like you blew a seal". The penguin replys "Naw, I just spilled some vanilla ice cream on my chest!" If that one is too long, here is a short one......Obama! mike_s March 10th, 2010, 06:05 PM A penguin is driving his car through town on a hot summer day, and his air conditioning dies. He pulls into the auto shop and asks the mechanic to take a look at his car. While he is waiting, the penguin decides to go for lunch. When the penguin gets back to the garage, the mechanic says "It looks like you blew a seal". The penguin replys "Naw, I just spilled some vanilla ice cream on my chest!" ! http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd140/amc-ken/penguin.gif SailNaked March 10th, 2010, 06:19 PM two young Nigerian ice divers are peeing off a bridge one day and one says to the other "The water sure is cold today" and the other says "and deep too" pelagic_by_nature March 10th, 2010, 08:58 PM two young Nigerian ice divers are peeing off a bridge one day and one says to the other "The water sure is cold today" and the other says "and deep too" I was there too. I said, "sandy bottom" shakeybrainsurgeon March 11th, 2010, 08:14 AM My neighbor married a trophy wife... ...but I don't think he won first prize. --------Steven Wright shakeybrainsurgeon March 11th, 2010, 08:17 AM A prostitute approaches me and says "I'll do anything you want for fifty bucks", so I asked her to paint my living room. -------Henny Youngman WVMike March 11th, 2010, 11:03 AM A guy goes to a costume party naked except for a pair of roller skates. When asked what he is susposed to be, he answers "a pull toy". MiguelAngel May 11th, 2010, 09:57 AM A horse walks into a bar, the bar attender turns around and ask him : Why the long face? dmoore19 May 11th, 2010, 10:10 AM A guy sticks his head in a barbershop door and asks "Bob Peters here"? The barber replies "nope, just shaves and haircuts" StevenN May 11th, 2010, 10:43 AM Global Warming! The earth is round! pickens_46929 May 11th, 2010, 08:55 PM I was there too. I said, "sandy bottom" That's what she said... reefseal May 22nd, 2010, 07:48 AM A prostitute approaches me and says "I'll do anything you want for fifty bucks", so I asked her to paint my living room. -------Henny Youngman A robber nabbed my wife's purse with all her credit cards. I said to police let the robber keep it, he'll spend less than my wife!. Parump pum crash! shrwdtech May 22nd, 2010, 02:28 PM Thanks for the chuckle! The_Ghost August 19th, 2010, 01:13 AM a baby seal walks into a club... Rainer August 19th, 2010, 01:17 AM Ouch. a baby seal walks into a club... The_Ghost August 19th, 2010, 01:18 AM thats what the seal said... heard that on a bob and tom cd at home. Grover48 August 19th, 2010, 04:13 AM Short joke about fleas - Adam had 'em. tasdiver August 19th, 2010, 09:52 AM Man walks into the house carrying a duck under his arm. Man says, "this is the pig I told you about." Woman says, "that's a duck." Man says, "I was talking to the duck." The_Ghost August 26th, 2010, 08:03 AM Two guys looking up at the stars: First guy: I believe there's intelligent life on other planets. Second guy: Then why haven't they contacted us. First guy: Because they're intelligent EGad August 26th, 2010, 02:13 PM A guy tells his friend that he has five penises. His friend replies, "That's amazing, how do your pants fit?" "Like a glove..." KY_BOB August 26th, 2010, 05:09 PM It's not the shortest but it's my favorite scuba joke: Irish SCUBA Divers So Paddy and Mick were thinking about taking SCUBA lessons, and Paddy had a question. "So Mick, why is it that them SCUBA divers always fall backwards out of the boat?" "Jaysus Paddy, ye thick sod, sure if they fell forwards they would still be in the fooking boat!" .
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