Reversible hose metal second stage?

Does such a beast exist? I'm absolutely in love with my Scubapro Balanced Adjustable, but I'll soon need a regulator with a left hand side hose for sidemount and my current secondary R295 doesn't quite cut it. I suspect I'll be happier with a metal body or barrel, but I haven't found one where I can move the hose to the left..

Poseidon Cyclon works on both sides.

Yep, the Cyklon is the original "no up/down, left/right".
Oceanic has/had a model, as did AquaLung, but none can come close to the venerable Cyklon.

An early 1960s version.

Indeed looks like this is the only option.. the only downside is I like to service my own regs and the design of this is completely alien to me..

Poseidon used to include a 2nd stage kit when you bought a new reg; all 3 o-rings.
The only really "specialized" tool is the 2nd stage cover press but if you have one that's not tweaked, they can pop right together.
The older versions are readily available on ebay fairly often but you may want to opt for a "newish" version with the standard threaded ports which means it *may* come with a plastic mouth tube.
Those are replaceable with metal ones.
The plastic ones can withstand an awful lot of abuse though, we've never had to replace one from even "impact damage".