An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. An intern
angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly
said, "Ah, you're an engineer; you're in the wrong place."
So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let
in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with
the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building
improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning,
flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a
pretty popular guy among the demons.
One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a
sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We've
got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and
there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with
next."
God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You've got an
engineer? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down
there; send him up here."
Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having an engineer on the
staff, and I'm keeping him."
God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things
are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or
I'll sue."
Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU
going to get a lawyer?"
Such egotism amongst the engineers, thinking that they will all go to heaven! I have it on good authority that the engineers who designed the H.U.B. and the Bungied Wings of Death have first class seats reserved for them in hell.
Paco
January 29th, 2003, 02:46 PM
Such egotism amongst the engineers, thinking that they will all go to heaven! I have it on good authority that the engineers who designed the H.U.B. and the Bungied Wings of Death have first class seats reserved for them in hell.
Ouch!
DivePartner1
January 29th, 2003, 03:10 PM
AzAtty once bubbled...
Such egotism amongst the engineers, thinking that they will all go to heaven! I have it on good authority that the engineers who designed the H.U.B. and the Bungied Wings of Death have first class seats reserved for them in hell.
Particularly software engineers. From Redmond, WA.
TCDiver1
January 29th, 2003, 03:13 PM
I always liked that joke clive, here's another one .......
A doctor, engineer and lawyer were sitting around one nite discussing which of their chosen professions was the oldest. The doctor made the point that according to Biblical tradition, God created eve from adams rib. Doing so would have obviously required surgery. Therefore his must be the oldest profession.
The engineer countered with an even earlier Bible passage that stated God created order from chaos and in doing so performed the biggest and best engineering feat ever. This surely proves engineering to be the oldest profession.
The lawyer smiled wryly and replyed, true..... but who do you think created chaos?
AzAtty
January 29th, 2003, 05:03 PM
Particularly software engineers. From Redmond, WA.
Well, I always understood that Bill Gates is the Great Satan referred to by fundamentalist religious movements, so I think he'll be the one engraving the invitations to the engineers.
You heard the one about the lawyer who had an operation? As the lawyer slowly came out of the anesthesia after surgery, he said, “Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?”
“There’s a big fire across the street,” the doctor replied. “We didn’t want you to think the operation was a failure.”
scuba-punk
January 29th, 2003, 10:46 PM
Four engineers (Electrical, Mechanical, Chemical and Software) were riding together in a car to go to a trade show. The car engine dies and they pull the car over to the side of the road (really, it doesn't matter which one is driving). The Electrical Engineer takes apart the distributor and plug wires and announces that the car won't run because the plug wires are bad. The Chemical Engineer puts his nose up to the gas tank and proclaims that the car won't run because the gasoline (or petrol if you desire) is bad. The Mechanical Engineer crawls out from under the car and tells the other three that the car is dead because the crankshaft is misaligned. The Software Engineer says, "Why don't we all get back in the car, get out and get back in again? The car should start after that."
*chuckle, snort*
Yes, I'm an enginerd too...
Jonathan
January 29th, 2003, 11:00 PM
but I'm a software engineer so time to pull it.....
Only joking :)
* chuckle, snort * is about right!
Tanstaafl
January 29th, 2003, 11:03 PM
COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS - TAKE ONE
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said "Where
did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied: "Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She
threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take
what you want.'"
The second engineer nodded approvingly: "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit."
jonnythan
January 30th, 2003, 01:42 AM
Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
ONESPEED
May 17th, 2009, 07:26 PM
:bump:
reefduffer
May 17th, 2009, 10:36 PM
How can you recognize an extrovert engineer?
He's the one that looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
