Telemarketer

[Fish_Whisperer]

Just got off the phone with a telemarketer. The conversation, verbatim:


Him: 'elloo?? Dees ees Oleever Stone with Birch Telecom. May I speak to SAITO?!

Me: B*TCH Telecom?! (thinking, Oliver Stone? Gee, that's original! :lol: )

Him: BIRCH!! B.I.R.C.H.! May I speak to SAITO?!

Me: Oh!! BIRCH!! Well, if you would like to speak with Mr. Saito, you'll have to dial Tokyo. Would you like that number?

Him: Who ees eet dere, who 'andles your local long distance and telephone service?

Me: I'm sorry, we don't have telephones.

Him: Okay.... (long pause...) Thank you....

CLICK.



The whole office is roaring with laughter...

[aquaticmatt]

that's awesome

[almitywife]

..........Me: I'm sorry, we don't have telephones....

heheheeh

i once told a roaming electricity pimper when he asked if wanted to change electricity providers that "we dont have electricity, its the devil work but would you like to come in and hear about the word of Jesus?"... he left, never came back :lotsalove:

[CBulla]

Score :)

[Teamcasa]

Just got off the phone with a telemarketer. The conversation, verbatim:

It happens to me all day. Here is my typical response:

telemarketer:
Hello, are you the person responsible making decis.....

my response:
click.

[Peter_C]

Since we live off of our cell phones, I answer the home phone with "Passion Palace, how may we pleasure you?". Then they proceed to ask for a particular person...my reply is something along the lines of "No, but we do have a Cherry Pie, or Homie Stud", then it all goes downhill from there. Usually they either bust up laughing or hang up. Either way I get to have my fun :)

[Fish_Whisperer]

:rofl3: If he would have asked, I would have told him that we were using two soup cans and a long string. He didn't ask, though. Damn... :D

[almitywife]

:rofl3: If he would have asked, I would have told him that we were using two soup cans and a long string. He didn't ask, though. Damn... :D

you can keep that for the next one...im sure they will call back again

[Fish_Whisperer]

:lol: I've tried being courteous with these people, but they've got on my last nerve, and my superpowers of SPITE are getting the better of me... :D

[mike_s]

It happens to me all day. Here is my typical response:

telemarketer:
Hello, are you the person responsible making decis.....

my response:
click.


why hang up on them? I just ask them "can you hold a minute?" then set the phone down..... then I might pick it up and say "hold one more minute"?

then finally I pick it up after a good 5 minutes and say "now... I've made you waste the 5 minutes you were going make me waste, do you really think you can sell something to me now?" They usually just hang up on me at that point... :rofl3:




but would you like to come in and hear about the word of Jesus?"... :


I'll have to remember that one

[Fish_Whisperer]

heheheeh

i once told a roaming electricity pimper when he asked if wanted to change electricity providers that "we dont have electricity, its the devil work but would you like to come in and hear about the word of Jesus?"... he left, never came back :lotsalove:

That rocks!! :rofl3:

[SparticleBrane]

While I do find things like this amusing (why yes, I am going to hell), I try to remember that most telemarketers probably don't like their job and do it as a way to put food on the table. If I ever answer a telemarketer's call, I say that I'm not interested in what they're selling, wish them a nice day/evening, and hang up. :)

[Peter_C]

I try to remember that most telemarketers probably don't like their job and do it as a way to put food on the table.

Just as do most drug dealers, prostitutes, thieves, etc. Still doesn't make it right for them to call when we opted out of soliciting phone calls.

[Fish_Whisperer]

While I do find things like this amusing (why yes, I am going to hell), I try to remember that most telemarketers probably don't like their job and do it as a way to put food on the table. If I ever answer a telemarketer's call, I say that I'm not interested in what they're selling, wish them a nice day/evening, and hang up. :)

I used to do that, but apparently, in some areas of the world, and in some countries where call centers have been outsourced to, they don't respond appropriately to courtesy. Here at work, they are constant. I'm fed up. I no longer give a crap about being courteous to them, nor do I care what their personal situation happens to be. I'm all out of compassion. Maybe next week, I'll have more in stock.

[mike_s]

I have to agree with Frank on this... I used to try to be polite, but now the telemarketers are rude sometimes and are so "high pressure" when they call you that they don't want to accept "no" or "I'm not interested" or "put me on your do not call list". They are always "Wait! let me tell you this".

The last time I told one to put me on their do not call list, they said I had to call another number and request that. One time I had to hold for another operator. I was like what?????? I have to be inconvienced because you added me to your list?

So now I just say "I'm not interested" or "put me on your do not call list" and don't even bother to listen for their response when I hang up on them. My number is on a do not call list. If they still call me, then they've overstepped their bounds. so screw them.

Yeah this might be their job, but it's a job they accepted and with that the consequences (of being hung up on). So I'm with Frank on this one.


I still find it more fun to see how long I can keep them on hold :rofl3:

[SparticleBrane]

Wasn't meaning to judge anyone -- hope no one took it that way.

Thankfully I only own a cell phone, and so far I've never gotten a telemarketing call on it.

[SteveAD]

I think the most needed invention right now is a device that can cause excruciating pain over the phone. No damage, just pain. It should be made available to everyone on the no call lists. Maybe that would bring back some trace of courtesy.

[augk]

You all need a "do not call list" hear in Massachusetts we have a registry maintained by the state I belive. If you register your home phone number on the do not call list the telemarketers are not allowed to call that number.:mooner:

[SteveAD]

I'm in Ma. I'm on the list. I still get called. That's why I want the telepain device.

[augk]

your just a popular guy ;)

[Jim Lapenta]

Take your dive alert, hook it up to a tank. When one of them calls ask them to hold a minute and to listen carefully as you tend to speak softly. Put your earplugs in and let rip with the DA. THey will not call you back. Also just got one of those goofy emails about how some cell providers may sell your number to these dirtbags. Anyone else here about this. ANd I'd not put telemarketers in the same category as prostitutes. A good hooker provides a necessary service with no hassles as long as your careful. Nothing at all useful about a telemarketer.

[mike_s]

oh..... on last one, just to piss them off.

When they call, ask them for their home telephone number? Whey they ask why? tell them you want to call them at home tonight and bother them when they are busy doing something else.

the next sound you'll hear is **click** as they hang up.

[BTravlin]

Wasn't meaning to judge anyone -- hope no one took it that way.

Thankfully I only own a cell phone, and so far I've never gotten a telemarketing call on it.

Sorry to tell you this but I just read an article today about how telemarketers are making the move to cell phones.

[Fish_Whisperer]

I'm on a DNC list, and I've been getting called every night by some group in Michigan doing some kind of survey on childrens' immunizations, available to anyone who might have children under the age of 8 in their household. After the third call, and asking repeatedly asking to be removed from their survey as I have no children under the age of 8, they called again, this evening.

Survey Person: "Do you have any children in your home under the age of eight?"
Me: "Well, It did, but It started snacking on them, It did! It getsssss sssso HONGRY!!!"
Survey Person: "....." *click*

:D

[Peter_C]

Sorry to tell you this but I just read an article today about how telemarketers are making the move to cell phones.

I have had a few on my cell phone and asked where they got my number from, but they hung up. Somebody is selling their phone lists, and I am pretty careful about giving it out except when ordering stuff from the internet, any bills etc. I NEVER post it in an open forum, nor do I let my email address out.

[mike_s]

well.... Telemarketers are at it again....

in the last 3 days I've gotten 2 calls, but not from someone trying to sell me something, but from political candidates.

Mike Huckabee called with a recording....

then catch this, Chuck Norris called. I got a laugh out of this one. (he's advertising for Huckabee) :rofl3:

[Fish_Whisperer]

:lol: Chuckabee! :lol: When Chuck wants to dial your telephone, he doesn't push the numbers, he squeezes the telephone until it gives in and dials your number. :lol: