Did you use a couple kegs as tanks and if so what the Bouancy characteristics like:confused:
snepdiver
November 30th, 2006, 05:07 PM
Dat are funnie stuf.
scuba_chick55
December 1st, 2006, 12:25 AM
this doesn't have to do with diving but..
you might be a redneck if your wife's hair has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fan
santafejoe
December 2nd, 2006, 06:30 PM
Good one:rofl3: :rofl3: :rofl3: :rofl3:
miketsp
April 8th, 2007, 04:38 PM
Had to add this one:
A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love, Ma
justleesa
April 8th, 2007, 04:47 PM
lol...an oldie! I remember when my dad brought the photocopy of that one home (in days long before email...opps, just outed my age...lol)
bigmak
April 8th, 2007, 04:51 PM
you might be a redneck if.....
...you park your boat on the porch
...Your boat and dining room have matching chairs
mike_s
April 8th, 2007, 05:28 PM
you might be a redneck if.....
...you park your boat on the porch
Ok.. Ok..... I admit it. I've done that before.
...Your boat and dining room have matching chairs
I used to keep my kayak in my living room before I had a garage to keep it in. :D
offroaddiver
April 9th, 2007, 07:27 PM
You could be a redneck---
if you've ever started pointing fingers when reading redneck jokes.
If you have ever put a new toilet in and had to ask neighbor if you could dig a hole with their shovel.
if you ever removed duck tape and your house fell in on itself.
if your dive gear is used to take care of the stray dogs.
nitrox32
April 17th, 2007, 12:10 AM
you go to family reunions to pick up chicks
Tom Smedley
April 17th, 2007, 01:04 AM
My two cousins Jerry and Phil are the two worst rednecks ever. Jerry is a civil engineer and Phil works for him. They spent a long time working for the state and then realized that they could be the ones that the state contracts all the work out to.
Well the other day Jerry wanted to go diving and Phil said "Look at you, you dang ole redneck, hauling your tanks in your Beemer. Why would you ever haul your tanks in your Beemer when you have your Escalade?
Of course Phil is kind of an adult toehead and burns when he goes in the sun so he is a true redneck but he calls his brother one because he hauls tanks in his Beemer instead of his Escalade.
Go figure.
fisherdvm
April 17th, 2007, 02:50 AM
Your pajamas are camouflaged, and they doubled as your hunting clothes.
You shoot dinner from the kitchen window.
Life is not good, unless you can scrath 'em balls, drinking a cold beer, and watching WWF wrestling on the black and white TV.
Your wife looked like your first cousin, because she is!
Hunting season ends only when you are caught.
You go to church with a hunting tag on your best jacket.
Your favorite colours are camo and orange.
You heard that urine attracted bucks, so you've got 5 gallons saved in the garage.
You've got two guns in every corners of the house, why would you need a gun case?
Your son's first birthday present is a nerf sniper rifle and cross bow set.
Christmas is celebrated with a melody of duck and goose call to the sound of christmas carols.
Your living room has more carcasses than the Detroit city morgue.
You mounted the squirrel that annoyed you while deer hunting.
Best type of fishing is bottom fishing (I actually enjoy this).
Sucker season is the only time you wade in the water with a spear.
Nightcrawlers are found crawling in the crisper of your refrigerator (this actually happened).
Stinkbait is a pot of rotten fish for coon trapping, you throw in a frog just for the flavour.
You got 4 types of urine for your cologne (doe in heat, fox in heat, rut special, and your own concoction).
Your annual vacation is to Cabela and Bass Pro Shop.
You have life membership with the NRA.
The shooter's bible is your favorite potty read.
Your bumper sticker said "You ain't taking away my gun, until you pried my dead cold fingers from the trigger."
Your subscription to Guns & Ammo, Field and Stream, and Fur Fish and Game never runs out, as you are on the lifetime membership.
Two of your 5 coon hounds were killed by your own trap!
You voted for Bush, as them durn democrats are going to take away your guns.
Your two childs are named Hunter and Fisher.
Unfortunately, my brother, admits to at least half of these, and his sons are actually named Hunter and Fisher!
vablackwater
April 17th, 2007, 10:28 AM
yOU cOULD bE a rED-nECK iF.....
your preference between an EXO 26 versus an AGA is based on which is easier to work a dip
Tom Smedley
April 18th, 2007, 01:54 AM
While in Gulfport, you're eating a Little Ray's softshell crab poboy with an Abita Blonde on draft and you drip sauce on your Gucci suit.
Or even worse, on your trip to Vienna you are enjoying a Sachertorte and Kaffe, after the Opera of course, and you forget to compliment the Confectionier.
JessH
April 18th, 2007, 04:11 AM
While in Gulfport, you're eating a Little Ray's softshell crab poboy with an Abita Blonde on draft and you drip sauce on your Gucci suit.
Or even worse, on your trip to Vienna you are enjoying a Sachertorte and Kaffe, after the Opera of course, and you forget to compliment the Confectionier.
You aint from around here are ya boy?
offroaddiver
April 18th, 2007, 07:34 PM
you might be a redneck from my area if you've ever attached a deep sea fishing seat to the bed of a pick up and go fish. Hook onto a catfish big enough that it tears the bolts through the bed.
Btw the fish was probably (hopefully) a catfish and broke double strand 100lb test.
Edit* not my truck but did try to fix the truck and have seen the home video of these two yahoos.
Betail
April 18th, 2007, 10:53 PM
you might be a redneck if you don't like convertables, because there is no place for the gun rack.
Tom Smedley
April 19th, 2007, 05:24 PM
Or even worse - opting wrong in the decision on whether to use emacs or vi
yOU cOULD bE a rED-nECK iF.....
your preference between an EXO 26 versus an AGA is based on which is easier to work a dip
mike_s
April 19th, 2007, 05:47 PM
Or even worse - opting wrong in the decision on whether to use emacs or vi
This is a simple decision....
http://www.geeksworld.org/pages/052.png
or is it!!! vi Rules!
http://blinkynet.net/comp/vi-man.jpg
Li'l38
April 19th, 2007, 06:16 PM
You aint from around here are ya boy?:rofl3:
Just thought of this one:
...if your dive knife is bigger than your snorkel!
OceanObsessed
April 19th, 2007, 08:59 PM
There is this old 70+ year country boy that lives in my dads neighborhood. He is from the mountains of Virginia and his accent is so thick you can hardly understand anthything he says. He has that country charm and is super nice and helps my dad work around the yard alot. Any time you speak with him he likes to immediately change the subject to tractors, chain saws, pressure cleaners, etc. He knew that I liked boats and he kept telling me that he built his own boat out of plywood but I never took him seriously. One day he volunteered to show me a picture of the boat that he built and he went to go get the picture for me. When he showed it to me I asked if I could scan it to show my friends and he proudly said "Sure". :)
http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n178/chrisandchristine/Shared/259PHOTOALBUM1.jpg
Tom Smedley
April 19th, 2007, 10:25 PM
You might be a redneck if you go to the Capri Theatre Annual Fund Raiser Gala and when you go up to greet the speaker you spill a glass of Opus all over Winston Groom's tux.
Tom Smedley
April 20th, 2007, 08:25 AM
You might be a redneck if your favorite car IS a restored 1956 Nudie Kohn Cadillac convertable.
quote=Betail]you might be a redneck if you don't like convertables, because there is no place for the gun rack.[/quote]
OceanObsessed
April 20th, 2007, 01:20 PM
You might be a redneck if you ignite the Everglades on fire with your malfunctioning swamp buggy.
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-419alligator,0,5044455.story?coll=sfla-home-headlines
JessH
April 20th, 2007, 02:16 PM
You might be a redneck if you go to the Capri Theatre Annual Fund Raiser Gala and when you go up to greet the speaker you spill a glass of Opus all over Winston Groom's tux.
You aint right in the head either.
~Jess
p.s. if ya chose emacs ya have atleast a little redneck in ya
Tom Smedley
April 20th, 2007, 05:10 PM
You may be a redneck if you donate $10000 to Children's harbor and forget to send the receipt to your CPA.
irishsquid
April 20th, 2007, 09:41 PM
You might be a redneck if you go to the Capri Theatre Annual Fund Raiser Gala and when you go up to greet the speaker you spill a glass of Opus all over Winston Groom's tux.
Yo bedda be kehfull, yo givin bama a bad name. Whad are yo, a forner or yankee?
:D :D :D
Tom Smedley
April 21st, 2007, 03:53 PM
You might be a redneck if you live in an ancient mobile home way back in the woods but you're proud that you have scraped enough together by working double shifts to have your own place and do not live in public housing. You also might be a redneck if you send your children to school every day so they can speak with a proper southern accent rather than a series of colloquialisms.
naturewalker36
April 23rd, 2007, 10:14 PM
You dive a place called Possum Kingdom.
You have a gun rack on your BC.
Your dive flag is "The Stars and Bars".
You have to clean the kudzu off your gear before you use it.
You get in a spittin' contest with your DI.
You have to remove the chaw before putting your regulator in your mouth.
When you spit in your mask it turns brown.
You think craw-dads are fresh-water lobsters.
Your boat has more than 6 beer cans rollin' around in the bottom.
Your snorkel is a piece of radiator hose off'n your '57 Chevy
You have your dive gear serviced after you pick it up from the pawn shop.
You have a spit cup on a D-ring on your vest.
You have more than two dive buddies named Junior or Bubba.
The buckle on your weight belt is silver with your name on it. )
You have to decide whether to take that AOW course or pay off the taxidermist. )
You can't decide which baseball hat to wear on the dive boat.
Your dive bag says Hefty on the side.
They won't let you on the dive boat in your boots.
You have a Confederate Battle Flag sticker on your tanks.
You were inspired to take up diving because Burt Reynolds looked so macho in that wetsuit in "Deliverance".
mike_s
April 23rd, 2007, 10:43 PM
Ok... You might be a Redneck if you've ever burried a school bus as a tornado shelter in the pasture beside your house...
(I actually took this picture about a month ago.... it was pretty funny to see)
You have to clean the kudzu off your gear before you use it.
You get in a spittin' contest with your DI.
You have to remove the chaw before putting your regulator in your mouth.
When you spit in your mask it turns brown.
You think craw-dads are fresh-water lobsters.
Your boat has more than 6 beer cans rollin' around in the bottom.
Your snorkel is a piece of radiator hose off'n your '57 Chevy
You have your dive gear serviced after you pick it up from the pawn shop.
You have a spit cup on a D-ring on your vest.
You have more than two dive buddies named Junior or Bubba.
The buckle on your weight belt is silver with your name on it. )
You have to decide whether to take that AOW course or pay off the taxidermist. )
You can't decide which baseball hat to wear on the dive boat.
Your dive bag says Hefty on the side.
They won't let you on the dive boat in your boots.
You have a Confederate Battle Flag sticker on your tanks.
You were inspired to take up diving because Burt Reynolds looked so macho in that wetsuit in "Deliverance".
naturewalker36
April 24th, 2007, 07:22 PM
Your dive skin has a tobacco can ring worn in the rear.
It takes you and all your dive buddies to show off a full set of teeth.
The zipper on your wetsuit doesn't have all it's teeth either.
You clean your boat with a leaf blower.
Your DM has to spit more than twice during a dive briefing.
You think a lobster is a big craw-dad and you try to suck the head.
You're wearing a camo jacket in the picture on your C-card.
You take soap when you go divin' figuring "hell, it's been a while". )
You have only one dive buddy and she's your mother, wife and sister
Your dive cylinder is a recycled (aluminum) beer keg
You refer to your two-cylinder set-up as a "double-wide"
You have to unhook your LP hose from your carburetor so you can put it back on your regulator.
Your dive computer has the "Deer Hunter" game loaded into it.
Talk about "integrated" weight systems makes you uncomfortable
If you have ever blown off engine parts with a SCUBA cylinder
You think that being neutral requires castration.
You've ever shot a possum with your speargun.
You think Roe v. Wade is something you might have to do if'n the dive boat quits
You think Dacor is them furnishin's in yer new doublewide
You call NASDS and ask about scuba racin'
You have a strap on your regulator because your only tooth won't hold it in place
You count your dive as your weekly shower.
If you always surface with at least 300 psi in your tank because you know that right rear tire is going to be flat again.
Tom Smedley
May 8th, 2007, 03:09 AM
You wear black socks with your Birkenstocks.
You drive 55 MPH in the left lane in Florida.
You think Tabasco Sauce is hot.
You're scared when someone says hello on the street.
You hate the south but you want to move there for the weather.
You sweat when the weather reaches 75 degrees.
:popcorn:
skeet
May 8th, 2007, 03:52 AM
redneck IF ,,, your parents were very ignorant, you grew up in a trailer the size of a Chevy Suburban, you got the impression there might be something more out there So you joined the ARMY, didnt know it at the time but you got to be the defender of the way of life for the NON Rednecks, but they did give me money for college so I could be instructed in Tree hugging and candle burning, of course a good shot ( yes with a REAL GUN ) ,got most of our food that way and could spot a fruit bearing tree a long ways off, more to come. Just havn't figured out how to make a million from the humerous aspect of yet like a couple of guys have.
