Holiday greetings thread

• No made-up holidays. Each holiday should be observed by at least one group of non-Dork Divers. (Of course, if you make one up and Dave Barry mentions it, by definition, it's now a real holiday. We're flexible, and making your [-]excuse[/-] case why your holiday should count can be quite entertaining. )
• Post no more than a week before the holiday. If we post them all at once, we'll run out of good ones too fast. (Plus, after six months of non-stop exposure, even Christmas gets exhausted.)
• No complaining about any holidays. If a holiday isn't your type, just ignore it -- it won't hurt. (I've heard that there are other places on the Internet that can be great fun if you feel like soapboxing. :biggrin
• No mean holidays. If you're trolling, you're not a DD, and your post will almost certainly live a very short life. (Note to DDs: If someone's trolling and you reply to it, don't let it harsh your mellow when your post disappears with it. That's just how it works.)

TalkLikeShakespeareDay.org:

How to talk like Shakespeare...

1. Instead of you, say thou. Instead of y'all, say thee.
2. Rhymed couplets are all the rage.
3. Men are Sirrah, ladies are Mistress, and your friends are all called Cousin.
4. Instead of cursing, try calling your tormenters jackanapes or canker-blossoms or poisonous bunch-back'd toads.
5. Don't waste time saying "it," just use the letter "t" ('tis, 'till, I'll do't).
6. Verse for lovers, prose for ruffians, songs for clowns.
7. When in doubt, add the letters "eth" to the end of verbs (he runneth, he trippeth, he falleth).
8. To add weight to your opinions, try starting them with methinks, mayhaps, in sooth or wherefore.
9. When wooing ladies: try comparing her to a summer's day. If that fails, say "Get thee to a nunnery!"
10. When wooing lads: try dressing up like a man. If that fails, throw him in the Tower, banish his friends and claim the throne.

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