I posted a thread about big tank availability in the Bonaire forum and some friendly banter about the physical "work" involved in shore diving vs boat diving got me dreaming a little about the easiest diving imagineable, so I thought y'all might want to fantasize a bit with the premise:
"The Perfect Dive"
Wake up in your over - water bungalow thats built right over a 100 ft lush reef wall with caves, soft coral, thirty species of nudibranchs, and inquisitve Eagles and Mantas all over the place (did I mention impossible?).
Roll out of bed and land in your BC, all hooked up, ready to go with a titanium 200 cubic foot tank, while your lovely assistant attaches the coffee bag to you BC, opens the trap doors and you simply put in your reg and descend through 88 degree water with 250 foot visibility, escorted on your way down by dolphins and a whaleshark or two . . .
Add as you see fit . . .
dwhthediver
August 21st, 2009, 10:18 AM
As you descend a Great white appears for a "fly by"
Blazinator
August 21st, 2009, 10:30 AM
As you descend a Great white appears for a "fly by"
And the dolphins circle you in protection, then let you pet them as your way of saying "thanks" and they purr. . .
Garrobo
August 21st, 2009, 01:27 PM
Who's the lovely assistant going to be?
Blazinator
August 21st, 2009, 03:32 PM
Who's the lovely assistant going to be?
You're significant other, preferably - I would like to see this topic rated G, but it does not mean you can't fantasize . . .
And for all the "you're gonna die!" folks out there, lets assume that the increased effect of the caffiene in the coffee at depth will only make you sharper and more alert while the narcosis gives you a wonderful non-dangerous high. And that narcosis will occur at twenty feet on this dive.
Did I mention that the nudibranchs are over a foot long with all the colors of the rainbow (ok, I guess they are already), and they have cerata that you can suck non-toxic rum punch out of? And the barrel sponges . . . oh yeah. They are full of beer.
TSandM
August 21st, 2009, 04:42 PM
. . . and as you approach the wall, you see the opening of what is clearly an extensive cave system, so you pull out your 800 foot reel . . .
scubafanatic
August 21st, 2009, 09:47 PM
....and just before you enter the cave, you reach over to the wall mounted thermostat at the entrance...carefully adjusting the cave water to the optimum temperature, then proceeding to turn on the giant dimmer switch to customize the amount of light inside the cave.......
scubafanatic
August 21st, 2009, 09:50 PM
Who's the lovely assistant going to be?
...Jessica Alba works for me...... :)
DevonDiver
August 21st, 2009, 09:58 PM
doing a her 100th dive...naked....
DevonDiver
August 21st, 2009, 09:59 PM
...and where's the wreck?
WWII vintage, virgin... complete with liftbag and easily accessible and legible Bell....
vladimir
August 21st, 2009, 10:20 PM
You're significant other, preferably - I would like to see this topic rated G, but it does not mean you can't fantasize . . .
Okay...
...Jessica Alba works for me...... :)
...as long as we're fantasizing...
my lovely wife Jessica hands me the wide-angle rig to capture the black marlin that has emerged from the depths to swim within a few feet of us. Wow, even at this depth there is good natural light in photogenic beams backlighting the shot, with a school of tuna glimmering in the background. This is going to be a perfect shot...
Blazinator
August 21st, 2009, 10:52 PM
....and just before you enter the cave, you reach over to the wall mounted thermostat at the entrance...carefully adjusting the cave water to the optimum temperature, then proceeding to turn on the giant dimmer switch to customize the amount of light inside the cave.......
And when you travel to the 799 foot length of reel, you find another 200 cubic foot titanium stage bottle, strap it on, and you see a big air pocket.
You ascend into the air pocket, and you see several Jessica Alba - like mermaids sauteé'ing lobster tails in garlic oil offering to feed you by hand as long as you submit to a full body massage . . . (OK even the women here would like that!)
Edit: make that Garlic BUTTER with cilantro!
joystershell
August 21st, 2009, 11:02 PM
As you turn to exit this marvelous cave system, along swims the ever elusive hammerhead turtle, which slows down to allow you to hitch a ride back to the surface.
Deep-6
August 21st, 2009, 11:07 PM
As you're leaving,an arguement ensues while the mermaids begin to disagree over which one gets the privledge of massaging you. You reassure them that there will be plenty to go around later.
luckydays
August 21st, 2009, 11:08 PM
... but as you ascend you see a pod of whales just hanging around at 40 feet. Since you have a new tank, you gently ask the turtle to let you off at the cleaning station so you can stare at the whales playing around....
mselenaous
August 21st, 2009, 11:41 PM
And the mama whale lets baby whale go play with you while she just watchs and sings while you ride baby whale's back around...And my charming assistant/dive buddy...George Clooney** captures it all on video with sound...for the world to watch on NatGeo channel...
**if the guys get to fantasize, so can the ladies
kanonfodr
August 22nd, 2009, 12:44 AM
While riding the baby whale you come to another reef full of every great-tasting fish known to the sea, all in well-beyond-legal size. Sticking out of the reef is a brand new speargun, game bag, and as Cristina Scabbia (link to pics, since it's my fantasy too) (http://images.google.com/images?q=cristina+scabbia&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=QnePStDiHc2hjAfb17n8DQ&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1) fins down in an impressive 30-minute breath-hold free dive, she hands you the speargun and gives you the "good luck sign"
Peace,
Greg
HJeffreyM
August 22nd, 2009, 10:36 AM
Well...there IS that NOAA underwater lab off the Keys. It's about 60ft down on an excellent reef system.
Unfortunately, there is no Jessica-Mermaid there and I saw a peice on TV about it where they were saying the food is awful. But what a week of diving that would be!
Also, since it is a government run research facility, you can't get on-board at any price. Maybe someone should do something like this at a dive resort.
I can see it now...a new PADI specialty course...Underwater Habitat.
ivobj
August 22nd, 2009, 12:46 PM
...Jessica Alba works for me...... :)
A Diferent Jessica for me... Jessica Biel... :D
ivobj
August 22nd, 2009, 01:03 PM
And the mama whale lets baby whale go play with you while she just watchs and sings while you ride baby whale's back around...And my charming assistant/dive buddy...George Clooney** captures it all on video with sound...for the world to watch on NatGeo channel...
...While your ride on the baby whale finishes and you waive goodby to the whale family and start returning to the bungalow, you find a darker spot in the water. You head in that direction and find out it is a passage way to a deeper area where lies a non explored cruiser shipwreck at 200 ft depth, Jessica Biel just hand my doubles with trimix 15/50 for a comfort ride to the bottom, a couple of stage bottles, and some explore reels. I start my descent to the perfectly intact cruiser in the bottom...
ereediver
August 22nd, 2009, 01:14 PM
When you finish exploring the wreck, you get to the first hang. The assistant of your choice injects you with nanobots that destroy the excess nitrogen in your system. After three minutes you ascend ready to dive again.
RonFrank
August 22nd, 2009, 07:56 PM
I had a few perfect dives recently on board the Peace boat diving the Channel islands.
I don't need Fantasy to make them any different or more *perfect* than they were... well then again.. a Whale Shark or twelve would be nice... but if it was just about wishing for things, how boring would that get?
kanonfodr
August 22nd, 2009, 08:34 PM
I had a few perfect dives recently on board the Peace boat diving the Channel islands.
I don't need Fantasy to make them any different or more *perfect* than they were... well then again.. a Whale Shark or twelve would be nice... but if it was just about wishing for things, how boring would that get?
All I know is that I wouldn't mind a modern rock goddess doing a 30 minute breath hold beside me for the best spearfishing in the galaxy, as unlikely as the event may be.
Peace,
Greg
vladimir
August 22nd, 2009, 11:26 PM
I had a few perfect dives recently on board the Peace boat diving the Channel islands.
I don't need Fantasy to make them any different or more *perfect* than they were... well then again.. a Whale Shark or twelve would be nice... but if it was just about wishing for things, how boring would that get?Funny, my first thought when I saw this thread was that I could describe some actual dives that were so amazing they qualified as fantasies. In fact, the black marlin in my fantasy dive was inspired by a real marlin in Cocos that didn't come quite close enough for a good shot. But another dive on that trip featured a bait ball and more predators on one dive than I would have dared to wish for. Perhaps a truly perfect dive is one that leaves you enthusiastically looking forward to your next dive.
Blazinator
August 23rd, 2009, 12:24 AM
All I know is that I wouldn't mind a modern rock goddess doing a 30 minute breath hold beside me for the best spearfishing in the galaxy, as unlikely as the event may be.
Peace,
Greg
I definitely see the point that RonFrank was making, and thank God that some of our coolest dives have moments that are greater than we are able to imagine. However, I find it quite NOT boring to read how creative people can be in describing their ultimate dive fantasy, and stringing them into one thread that is the summation of all our fantasies, where the whole so much greater than the sum of its parts (posts). I mean I never thought of how cool it would be to find a water temp thermostat inside a huge cave with a light dimmer switch on the side, being able to ride a baby whale, then find a virgin shipwreck and get all your nitrogen eliminated through nanobots!
Lets hear more cool ideas.
BTW Greg, thanks for your new signature link.
vladimir
August 23rd, 2009, 06:25 AM
Well...there IS that NOAA underwater lab off the Keys. It's about 60ft down on an excellent reef system.
Unfortunately, there is no Jessica-Mermaid there and I saw a peice on TV about it where they were saying the food is awful. But what a week of diving that would be!
Also, since it is a government run research facility, you can't get on-board at any price. Maybe someone should do something like this at a dive resort.
I can see it now...a new PADI specialty course...Underwater Habitat.
I think they have, sort of:
Jules Underwater Hotel (http://www.jul.com/)
RJP
August 23rd, 2009, 07:33 AM
I posted a thread about big tank availability in the Bonaire forum and some friendly banter about the physical "work" involved in shore diving vs boat diving got me dreaming a little about the easiest diving imagineable, so I thought y'all might want to fantasize a bit with the premise:
"The Perfect Dive"
Wake up in your over - water bungalow thats built right over a 100 ft lush reef wall with caves, soft coral, thirty species of nudibranchs, and inquisitve Eagles and Mantas all over the place (did I mention impossible?).
Roll out of bed and land in your BC, all hooked up, ready to go with a titanium 200 cubic foot tank, while your lovely assistant attaches the coffee bag to you BC, opens the trap doors and you simply put in your reg and descend through 88 degree water with 250 foot visibility, escorted on your way down by dolphins and a whaleshark or two . . .
Add as you see fit . . .
You do realize that with the exception of the hyperbole about marine life, you're describing live-aboard diving, right?
:eyebrow:
emoreira
August 23rd, 2009, 12:35 PM
And while you were ready for the final ascend, you look to the bottom and you can see something shinning. You go down a little and you discover a Gold Rolex President lost with no marks in the bottom just for you.
Blazinator
August 23rd, 2009, 02:50 PM
You do realize that with the exception of the hyperbole about marine life, you're describing live-aboard diving, right?
:eyebrow:
You just about nailed that one! I sure would like to be able to afford a livaboard someday. Maybe they will design a livaboard experience where they have slides right outside your room on the boat, and you just kit up and slide right into the water, grabbing a croissant and coffee on the way down.
Your "shallow divers" post inspired me a little on this thread. Waaayy hilarious still.
Zosimus
August 24th, 2009, 10:00 PM
you forgot the previously undiscovered pirate ship wreck that you found that's plum full, and you radio to the top to tell them to drop the 6,000lb lift bag. ;)
lamont
September 27th, 2009, 10:58 PM
When you finish exploring the wreck, you get to the first hang. The assistant of your choice injects you with nanobots that destroy the excess nitrogen in your system. After three minutes you ascend ready to dive again.
I want exposure protection that works kind of like an LCD so that it can turn on and off small panels in response to your body temperature in order to vary the insulative qualities of the material anywhere from shorts-and-a-t-shirt to CF200+XM450+BTS vest dynamically -- on the same dive if necessary.
Blazinator
September 28th, 2009, 09:37 AM
Your exposure suit will have infinitely adjustable temps by varying the amount of coolant water flowing through the miniature nuclear reactor mounted behind your tank which courses the warm water through a web of in-fabric tubing running throughot the suit.
Why the miniature nuclear reactor?
To operate the calf mounted DPV motors, of course, for unlimited mobile range underwater.
FloridaRanger
March 1st, 2010, 07:21 PM
You pass a ledge on the way to the wreck, and a hogfish the size of a Volkswagon looms into view.
Beecher
March 1st, 2010, 10:10 PM
doing a her 100th dive...naked....
hahaha...nice:D
MaxBottomtime
March 1st, 2010, 10:45 PM
After having the greatest dive adventure anyone has ever had, you surface exhausted but fully thrilled. Then someone tells you that you wouldn't be exhausted if you had used Nitrox. :)
highdesert
March 1st, 2010, 11:57 PM
... and you wake up, with a crink in your neck, sitting in a chair at the departure gate in the airport, while your flight to Indonesia (first class ticket) departs. Damn ... should not have fallen asleep. :shakehead:
Hey, it was all a dream, right??? :depressed:
TyGuy
March 2nd, 2010, 12:38 AM
snap out of dream into reality, standing at the edge of a cove. its late march in RI, the air is toasty 50 degrees and the sun is baaarely shining through th clouds. the water probably not much warmer, if anything its still in the 40's. you sigh and trudge into the water thinking what could have been spring break...but hey, could be worse...could not be diving at all
Papa_Bear
March 2nd, 2010, 12:50 AM
Well it has already been done by James Cameron and it's call AVATAR! Closer to home I had a week on the Belize Aggressor that came pretty close! Sleeping over the water and beautiful walls of Light House Atoll! The best part was it wasn't a dream, but I did have to come home!
.. and there on the floor, dozens of old gold coins glinting in the reflection of the sun ...
Atomic_Diver
March 2nd, 2010, 07:08 AM
.. and there on the floor, dozens of old gold coins glinting in the reflection of the sun ... and besides it is a Lifetime supply of any Scuba gear you like...
Atomic_Diver
March 2nd, 2010, 07:10 AM
And next to that lies a pile of fresh ready to grill Lionfish....
Wantonmien
March 2nd, 2010, 07:17 AM
...Jessica Alba works for me...... :)
And next to that lies a pile of fresh ready to grill Lionfish....
Ah now we are getting somewhere ...
The Lionfish served up free of bones, by the naked Jessica Alba, with a bottle of chilled Champagne ...
Atomic_Diver
March 2nd, 2010, 07:39 AM
Ah now we are getting somewhere ... The Lionfish served up free of bones, by the naked Jessica Alba, with a bottle of chilled Champagne ... With Mashed Potatos, Esparagus and Holinday sauce, and Lobster Appitizer, and to be finished off with a luscious rich chocolate cake and Vannila ice cream...
caseybird
March 2nd, 2010, 08:39 AM
...and where's the wreck?
WWII vintage, virgin... complete with liftbag and easily accessible and legible Bell....
...Full of unopened 80 year old rum bottles perfectly preserved by the cooling seas..which when moved reveals Hitler's Lost Gold and a Discovery Channel contract for a 40 show deal..
Atomic_Diver
March 2nd, 2010, 08:45 AM
...Full of unopened 80 year old rum bottles perfectly preserved by the cooling seas..which when moved reveals Hitler's Lost Gold and a Discovery Channel contract for a 40 show deal.. Aye, the Rum!... :pirate:
FloridaRanger
March 9th, 2010, 04:46 AM
Jessica puts on a t-shirt, and then a sweatshirt, and some jeans and says, "Hey, I like diving with you dirty old men, but give me a break."
webrunner
March 10th, 2010, 08:32 AM
As I dive, gently floating along with groups of every beautiful fish swirling around me in clouds of movement, I see that all of the most loved and sexy women float next to me smiling telling me with full luscious lips that they want me and only me... the reality hits me I have an infinite supply of air from my alien engineered tank... to the left is the proof that Atlantis exists, to the right is the most fascinating alien craft, ahead is a wormhole to whatever time I wish to travel and behind is the ability to go back in time and do over all of my mistakes... Now that is my idea of a real fantasy!
Herk_Man
March 10th, 2010, 03:18 PM
Jessica puts on a t-shirt, and then a sweatshirt, and some jeans and says, "Hey, I like diving with you dirty old men, but give me a break."
Relax, we were at Sorobon. It's all good! :eyebrow:
TMHeimer
March 10th, 2010, 04:15 PM
My perfect dive: Loads of varied shells to collect for my somewhat scientific collection in a state/country (and with a dive Op) that permits it. I know where this rare Caribbean place is, hope to visit, and will keep it a secret. It's even a PADI dive Op.
Black_3000psi
March 16th, 2010, 11:16 PM
well thats about as passive as a dive i would ever not want to do.Zero level of adventure in that dive.think i would settle for dive on the sea tiger in 40 foot vis.
Pelagicsal
May 12th, 2010, 07:28 PM
I finally remember to check my air, and find that my tank is empty. I take another breath, perplexed, soon realizing that I have, at last, grown gills. I shuck my tank and cruise down the wall with my entourage of Goliath groupers...
rollerboi
May 13th, 2010, 10:51 AM
Forget gills, my gorgeous dive assistant Jessica (or George, for the ladies) swims up alongside of me, ready to administer some buddy breathing. As she takes a breath and leans in, I realize she was trained incorrectly and that what she's about to do has a significant carbon dioxide risk, but.. I'm not about to correct this mistake. :D
lord.harshil
September 22nd, 2010, 01:41 AM
I climb out of the water & my car has magically transformed into a lambo with JB in the front seat.
