Diving with your recently certified Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Life Partner/Whatever

Hi!

When I learned to dive, about 7 years ago, My instructor told me that it wasn't a good idea for a couple to dive together as buddies (I can't remember her reasons).

My Girlfriend have just been certified 2 months ago, and we went to her 2nd dive trip last weekend. The first day we were joined in the boat by one instructor and one DM (at least they introduced him as such) provided by the Dive shop. Since I was aware that my GF needed to work on her dive skills and I don't consider myself fully prepared to act on an amergency (and having in mind what my instructor said), I talked to the instructor and told him that I'd like someone more experienced than me to be my GF buddy. He agreed and paired her with the other DM.

So, we went into the water, the instructor and other diver leading, my GF and the DM behind them and my buddy and me closing the group. About 5 minutes into the dive, I saw that my GF Buddy was somewhat like 15 feet ahead of her and not paying any atention to her. a little bit later, I saw that my GF (ignored by her buddy ) started a slow but uncontrolled ascent, so I swam up to her, grabbed her jacket, deflated her BCD, made sure she was calm and signaled her to go to the surface (at that point that was just about 10 ft above us), Back in the surface she told me that she had trouble with her buoyancy and that trying to keep up with her buddy made it worse. So I told her to forget about her former Buddy and to just stick with me and my Buddy (who was waiting below us). At this time the instructor had surfaced with us and donned her one of the extra weights he carried so she could be less positive. So we went back down and the rest of the dive was really great. For the rest of the dives, we ditched the DM and formed a 3-Buddy team, wich worked great.

So, after having this experience I'd like to ask the instructors, DMs and such, what are your opinions about having a couple teaming up as dive buddies? What reasons would you have against that? Why should I rely on someone else to watch over my GF (At least until she improves her diving skills)?

Thanks in advance.

P.S. I later learned that the "DM" was really just fresh out of the rescue diver course and working his way up to beeing certified as a DM.

I think it can be fine, but (I'm speaking from experience here) you have to be very careful. You're doing an activity together where you are putting your lives in each other's hands. When something goes wrong or you make a mistake, you're dealing with the effects of your significant other "abandoning you", "failing you", etc, in addition to the actual issue at hand. That can cause significant trust issues in the future, and can make diving together more difficult over time.

I personally think it's better to dive together once you're both competent, confident divers individually. Early on, you will make mistakes and so will your partner. It can be difficult to deal with and move beyond the effects of those mistakes in the context of a relationship with somebody whose well-being is your top priority in life.

The reasons I have heard warranting different dive buddies other than your spouse are:

1. They won't listen to each other or take each other seriously.
2. Its hard to be critical of your partner.
3. You pay less attention to your buddy underwater
4. Reactions during an emergency may be less than rational and potentially dangerous

Although those may seem compelling, I think they are rather weak. I would much rather, and I do, dive with my significant other and very good friends because I am actually more comfortable being critical and open with them/her than anyone else. A good buddy is a good buddy but I guess it depends on the relationship you have with your gf and personalities/states of mind...An instructor that blanketly says spouses/gf's should never dive with each other is making a very hasty generalization

I had heard a similar line from my/my wifes instructor BUT it was only while she was learning - I was an assistant to the DM in wifes OW class. She wanted her to learn by me NOT handholding her in class -which I agree.

BUT as for a dive buddy, if we are together I am always her dive buddy. I do practice the best dive practices I can (pre dive gear check,air check, buddy ok check etc)when diving as I know others do not and your instructor may not want your(not saying you do :shocked2: ) bad habits rubbing off on her.

I cannot think of a more conscious safer diver than one who is protecting the one you love while enjoying diving. As long as you practice safe diving and you want your spouse around that is!- you are the best buddy.

I know several husband/wife dive teams and for the most part, that's how they dive, as a team.

I absolutely love diving with my wife. She is a good and attentive dive buddy and very patient when I'm shooting video. We like diving in the same places and looking at the same sort of things. Frankly, I get nervous if the woman I love, dives with anyone I don't know on a personal basis.


I think the reasons some DMs/Instructors don't recommend it is the spouse is most likely to interfere with the DM's instructions.

ZapDiver:

About 5 minutes into the dive, I saw that me GF Buddy was somewhat like 15 feet ahead of her and not paying any atention to her.

P.S. I later learned that the "DM" was really just fresh out of the rescue diver course and working his way up to beeing certified as a DM.

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Even if your girlfriend's buddy was a new certified OW diver, he has no excuse for being that far ahead and not paying attention to her.

As for diving with a significant other; I only hope to one day be able to do so. I'm sure, given some people's tempermants, that there's an increased chance for arguments and such. I can easily picture my wife cracking me over the head with her snorkel.
:whack:

My girlfriend and I were certified together back in June. With the exception of one two tank boat dive, we have been buddies. The only reason we did not dive together on the boat dive, was she thumbed the dive because of the rain

I was going to post something about how if your partner needed that level of support she should have been paired with a DM, but then i reread your post and noticed that it was initially believed that the buddy WAS a DM. just plain bad luck getting paired up with a such ****ty excuse for a DM I guess

maybe you should try to get her some 1-on-1 time with a real dm/instructor to help her sort out her buoyancy properly? I guess that depends how quickly she's adjusting to it on her own

My g/f and I dive together quite often. It's nice to read each-other's logs after a dive to see that we didn't necessarily see the same things even though we were 20 feet or less from each-other. She is a bit more of a nazi when it comes to staying close together than I am, but it works rather well.

I think diving with a SO is fine. Instructing your SO, not so much!

I know many hubby/wife and SO buddy teams. It works well.