You know you've been diving too long when....

[TexasMike]

It's been a bit since we have had a pure silliness thread like "Redneck Divers".

Complete this sentence...."You know you've been diving too long when...."

And I'll start with: "...you remove your booties to discover the pattern of your pruney feet exactly match the picture you took of the brain coral."

[scubadweeb]

When on a Saturday afternoon you find yourself wearing a kilt with a blue ribbon peeking beneath the hem!

C'mon now. That's cute! This is a hard sentence to finish. But at least I tried!

[Liquid]

When someone asks you on the phone "How are you?"
you signall back OK.

[g2]

:boom: ...A tank o-ring blows out right beside you, and you don't even remember waking up to shut the valve off.

...You can tell the stitching on the inside of your wetsuit needs repairs by looking at the impression it leaves in your skin.

...You surface and get back on the wrong boat. And you don't say anything because they have better munchies.

...You fall asleep during safety stops.

...When you buy a car, the first thing you get for it is a diving flag decal.

[wheezy]

when you get that really cool SCUBA gear tan....

especially when you are wearing a hood all day :D

[SubMariner]

Every time you see a puddle you wonder how much "down time" you can get in! ;)

~SubMariner~

[DEEP SEA]

You can blow bubbles out your ears!

[Fishkiller]

.....your picture is on a fish ID sheet

....your garage is better stocked than the LDS

[miked]

....you worry about an ascent rate "violation" while in an elevator.
miked

[NetDoc]

Why do they always make fun of me like this???

:tease:

[100days-a-year]

When you put no -fog on your reading glasses.

[scubadweeb]

Can you really blow bubbles out of your ears?

[TexasMike]

...you suck on your regulator when driving through a heavy rainstorm.

...you teach your 3-year old to do a giant stride entry into the inflatable kiddie pool.

...you have a bumper sticker that says "My other vehicle is a Nautilus submersible" or "Apollo DV-1 Scooter"

...you have a bummper sticker that says "My child is a PADI/NAUI Honor Student"

[ckharlan66]

This happened to me yesterday.

When you drive throught the mountains and while going up and down the hills you wonder how you would calculate this as a multi level dive and if it will effect your NDL's the next day.

Chad

[Fishkiller]

... When the fish give you the fins up siganl

... your truck has been towed away

... you can quote from the operators manual for LUN003 a OUT007 and a SRB5600

...your airfill card is confetti

[scubabunny]

When you have to move to a two bedroom apartment..just to have a special "dive room"..and all the gear STILL doesn't fit, and has to sit in the middle of the living room..including the BOAT! *grrrrr*

[syruss32]

You get in the shower and after getting out of the shower you dry your hands and automatically start looking for a pen and your log book.....

You are in the hot tub, and after getting out you pull out your old manuals to look at the section on NDL dives in hottubs....

You are going to have a 10x50' pool put in the back yard and the day they dig the hole you come home to inspect it and are pissed to find it is 10' wide by 50'long and you cuss out the pool company like they are idiots, they should know you meant 10' x 10' x 50' deep! DUH!!!!

When you are cleaning out your 200 gallon saltwater aquarium you have on your dive gear and are snapping pictures with your Sea & Sea MX 10 and strobe of you next to the clown fish.

When you have your kids party and the clown brings a helium tank for the balloons and you wonder how much pressure that 6 foot cylinder will hold.

When you do your budget and realize that your scuba magazine bills are more than your car payments (Tell me ID has this happened yet?)

When you get up after a nightmare and splash water on your face and you realize you forgot to put on defog and you cant see if you rinsed your mask right...

When you ask your opthamologist if there is any solution that will keep your contacts in place if your mask floods and you don't want to close your eyes.

When you agree to drive your pals to lunch and you have to take 15 minutes before lunch moving scuba gear around to find seating spaces for them in your car.

That should be a good start for the list....

[Ontario Diver]

.... You take your computer into the shower, and still have to do a decompression stop

.... You've forgotten how to talk to your family....unless they use a tank banger and then sign what they want.

.... You figure that rather than buying both glasses/contact and a Prescription mask, you just buy the mask and where it everywhere.

.... You hit the "emergency stop" button on the elevator so you can finish your 3-min safety stop

... when a awesome member of the opposite sex says "lets get tanked, then get all sweaty and wet" you pull out your C-card

[detroit diver]

When you release "stomach gas" below, and care more about it's bouyancy effects than what other people think...

[Butch103]

...........your best suit in the closet is made of neoprene and comes with matching hood, boots and gloves.........

...........your most favorite computer is not controlled by Bill Gates................

Butch :Peace:

[NINman]

... When your family car is a semi and it still doesn't hold all your gear.

.... When the local library has a copy of your log book on the shelf.

*** Goes with last one *** You know you live in a scuba-oriented town when said logbook is never available.

...... When you have enough tanks in your house that regulations require you to post danger snign on your home. (That one was bad .. but I still had to write it)

[ages]

When it no longer bothers you to peel your clothes off and put your divesuits in public (and vise versa, of course)....and

When you no longer are grossed out by nose woogies after the dive!!

ages

[WetDane]

- Your neighbors start wondering how much oxygen you go through in a week. (They don't know any better).

- You think the gas off exersice is a great way to freak out a new diver.

- The dive shop cosistently underfills your tanks to limit your bottom time.

- When after 2 weeks out of the water - you suddenly go "I can hear"...

- When you walk into a shop to get fills and they say - "3 times in one day???"

- You take that class you never got around to when you started diving, and now the instructor asks you how many dives you did last week - and the room goes silent...

- You think George Irvine is a perfectly reasonable man... (No offense George - I do think so...)

- You go on a night dive and people wonder what good 100w of light can do you (Fry the shrimp on the way up).

- You can impress people with the names of octopus in all local dive sites...

That's enough - and no - there is no personal experience involved here - what would ever make you thing that? I missed 2 days of diving last week!!!

Big T

[uwsince79]

Fellow divers are checking out some of your equipment and one of the states " Hey, Those fins are made by Voit? Are they a new company? I've never seen them before.
The grief settles in.......

[rstone]

Been diving to long when...

you spend more time at the dive shop then at work and home combined..

you find wetsuits alot more comfortable to sleep on in the rental room then your own bed.

you look at the compressor banks and wonder how to strap them to your BC.

you have 10 sets of everything

you can actually write these "you've been diving to long when... " lines.

[ONESPEED]

:bump: