Constructive Criticism for Instabuddy

How do you deal with this? I've primarily dived with instabuddies. Last week I had the privilege of diving with several. Three of them were obviously much more experienced than I and one had more dives but relatively comparable experience as he's just returning to the sport after a very long hiatus. 1 of the significantly more experienced was useless as a buddy. She clearly had good diving skills but horrible buddy skills preferring to treat her dive as a solo with onlookers. In her defense she was taking pictures so I sort of understand it a little. I didn't appreciate her insistence that we stay down longer when the other two divers (myself and other "newb") said it was time to surface. (Not an air thing, just a "it's getting dark and we don't want to get ticketed" thing.)

So, the other lesser experienced diver was a great guy. However, after diving with him 3 days in a row I wasn't sure how best to approach his habit of swimming away from me, standing on or kicking the bottom, swimming fast from place to place and generally being too involved with navigating and not as much in paying attention to his dive buddies. One of the other more experienced divers (and I) motioned for him to stay off the bottom a couple of times during one of the dives and it didn't seem like he understood the signs.

We did discuss some hand signals before diving each dive and I tried to expand them with things I thought made sense but I'm curious how blunt people are post-dive with dive buddies who are inexperienced but otherwise good people to dive with and willing to try and learn. As a newb myself I occasionally find it difficult to point out other people's weaknesses since I can't really tell if I'm being a hypocrite without more video of me diving. We had some fairly direct but not pointed discussions about buoyancy control and I got the distinct impression the guy thought he was doing a good job even after I mentioned he was on the bottom a few times.

So, how do you educate people about their skill level and ways to improve without sounding like a dick, especially as a newbie?

I would say "very carefully". Most people view their diving skills much like their driving skills, some even have delusions of granduer about it. The hard part is to get the point across & be tackful (yes, you can be straight forward without being an A** about it). As for your instabuddy who is the photographer, she needs to be reminded that once someone gives the "thumbs up" sign, the dive is over. period. Unless the plans are that they conduct a solo dive once in the water. When someone has poor awareness (global/ situational/ team/ buddy) the only way for improvement, is to keep reminding them that they must pay attention, even when multitasking.

Thanks. I definitely made her aware that I didn't think it was appropriate to continue to say "just a couple more minutes" when we called it. We were at BHB and there is a park mandated "out of water" time of sunset. We were very much pushing the envelope and I wasn't interested in getting a ticket for overstaying my welcome.

My biggest issue with talking to the other newbie is the fact that I may fall into that category of "delusions of grandeur," which is why I'm reticent to be too blunt. Like I said, we had some friendly discussion about things and I mentioned how far away he got from me a couple times and we talked about buoyancy but I don't think he realized it was an issue, not just a discussion. He was a good navigator and we came out right where we planned, which I didn't really expect, but it was clear that was his task for the dive, which was unfortunate for a couple of reasons. He missed a LOT of things I saw (though he did see a ray I missed--primarily because he was so far away from me) and was really surprised at the number of videos I got of different things. I think it's primarily a task loading issue for him at this point. Probably me too to a certain extent; I was definitely less diligent about navigation as a result of his diligence and my interest in looking at things and taking pics/videos. I will say some of the problem was definitely me trying to slow down and get pictures too, so I'm not trying to blame it all on him, though my first post seems like it on a second reading.

I have found one very good way to approach things is to ask, "So, do you have any feedback for ME from the dive?" That's a good conversation opener, and entirely non-threatening. And as a new diver, one good way to approach something with someone more experienced is to ask a question: "Why do you do thus-and-such?" When you have something that's really unacceptable on a dive, like the failure to respond to a thumb, you can broach it as your own problem: "I was very uncomfortable when I wanted to end the dive, and you didn't. It left me in the position of having to decide whether to stay in the water when I didn't want to, or leave you on your own, which I agreed not to do."

As far as people who ignore what you have to say . . . you can't really do anything about that. You aren't their instructor. They want feedback, or they don't, and once you have given it, what they do with it is their own affair. Yours is to decide, based on how they take what you have said, whether you want to dive with them again or not.

It's hard to broach the topic of 'improvement' when you are dealing with divers that you don't know well. Diplomacy and tact are definitely the way forwards.

General conversation about your perspectives and memories of training courses can be a good reminder. Chat about why they 'choose' certain ways of doing things. Chances are they aren't 'choosing' those things, but it does open the topic towards the alternative (better) options. Also chatting about good mentors you've encountered - and how they dived can get your point across.

Other than that, simply get the other diver involved in dive planning at an early stage.... so that you can cover the points that you want to reinforce. As long as the buddy isn't really ignorant, then they will respect your choice to plan the dive, conduct buddy checks and adhere to certain procedures and limits on the dive.

Here's my article: How to Dive with 'Insta-Buddies' - Scuba Tech Philippines

Just some random thoughts:

You could try talking about yourself instead of them... you know, "I felt like I got too far away from you during that dive, how can I stay closer to you on the next one?" etc. Brings up the topic of seperation, or whatever, without being confrontational

OTOH task splitting (eg you navigate, I'll spot critters and point them out) isn't a bad thing if people only have skills to focus on one thing at a time

Further to your last sentence, it takes two to tango - short of people running away from you (yeah it happens I know), buddy seperation is the responsibility of both dive partners

When I have to dive with a "stranger," I pair up as early as possible, and talk to them. I ask about their last trip, their last dive, how long they have been diving. I look at their gear (brand new, rental, seasoned but well maintained, crappy, etc.) I tell them a little about me in the same areas. I ask if they have any objective for the dive ( want to go 100 feet, see a shark, find an eel, take pictures, etc.) It can all be a very friendly conversation. Within a few minutes we are not strangers. I then ( the divemaster sneaks out) work the conversation into a meaningful planned dive, with buddy check, orientation to each other's equipment, air use expectation and etc. I started this long before I had a professional rating and continue it to this day. I do it with students in continuing ed classess too. I have never had anyone object to the talk, and it leads to good planning, and good buddy habits in the water. Just be postiive, be nice, and be interested in learning about the other person. If there is a repetitive dive, let them know any changes you'd like, again in a positivie manner- such as the rambling buddy issue. Say "that was a great dive, but I was a little tense when you took off after that ray. I'm more comfortable if we stay closer together as a buddy team. Is that ok with you? Just be pleasant and positive. If they are totally wipeouts, then change buddies or make the best of it, or mention it to the DM or captain and let them make a "general" annioucement to the whole group.
DivemasterDennis

Tortuga68:

Just some random thoughts:

You could try talking about yourself instead of them... you know, "I felt like I got too far away from you during that dive, how can I stay closer to you on the next one?" etc. Brings up the topic of seperation, or whatever, without being confrontational

OTOH task splitting (eg you navigate, I'll spot critters and point them out) isn't a bad thing if people only have skills to focus on one thing at a time

Further to your last sentence, it takes two to tango - short of people running away from you (yeah it happens I know), buddy seperation is the responsibility of both dive partners

Click to expand...

Thanks. I definitely like the task splitting at this point, but I was just thinking he didn't enjoy the dive as much because he was so concentrated on navigating. Then again, he gushed about how great all the dives were at the end so maybe he did enjoy them as much as I did.

I'm definitely aware there was a certain amount of responsibility on my part for the buddy separations that did happen. I'm not trying to be an avid photographer taking 20 pictures of each critter and lining them up perfectly. Most of the time I try to take pictures while moving or just do video. That said, I don't think I ever actually asked my buddy to stop while I took a picture so I'll keep that in mind in the future. Hard for him to know I've stopped without me telling him. He never got more than 20 feet from me in 25-30 foot viz so it wasn't a huge thing, just something I think we should both be aware of in the future. We don't improve without recognizing our limitations, right?

fjpatrum:

He never got more than 20 feet from me in 25-30 foot viz so it wasn't a huge thing

Click to expand...

Exhale, then try to catch up with him & share air - you might change your mind

Just a quick note.
Inexperienced navigators/leaders will almost always swim much faster than the followers. They're fixed on a single task and tend to swim in straight lines whilst the rest of the group are meandering about looking for stuff.
And another is, photographers are often by nature poor buddies.