she will kill me when she reads this but .... [Archive] - ScubaBoard

View Full Version : she will kill me when she reads this but ....


Sponsored Link
King_Neptune
October 25th, 2001, 11:25 AM
hahaha,

Wanna know how I know I have the perfect woman? I've seen her walk on water, hahaha, you should have seen her when I took her out on our first night dive and I told her to leave her gear in the car and just bring her Dive light, fins and mask - oh, maybe I should mention this was along the La Jolla Shores during that time of year that the squid come in to mate/lay their eggs. For those of you that don't know, read on to find out what else this brings very close into shore. We walked out into waist deep water and my instructions went something like the following:

"Ok, put on your mask, turn on your light, place the snorkel in your mouth and lower yourself down to your knees and look around, now when you feel your body starting to rise that is a wave building up to you so take a deep breath and hold it until the wave passes. The wave will lift you up as if you were standing and then drop you back down to your knees as it passes. Then blow the water out of your snorkel with that deep breath you took. Our wet suits are going to keep us buoyant so we will pretty much be right below the surface as the tide gently takes us out to deeper waters."

So as she is preparing her mask and all I started doing it right then so she could see me calmly making it look easy and would see that it was not only easy but fun and enjoyable. She then joined me and we locked an arm each to one another as she took in the site of all those 10's of 1000's of white pouches everywhere with squid jetting to and fro in every direction. I don't know which was larger and whiter ... The squid, or her eyes bugging out trying to take it all in...

She was so busy looking around her feet and reaching out to let them slide across her hands she wasn't looking around to what I was watching. We had visitors that were just as curious about us as we were of everything else. I tapped her on the shoulder and pointed out to her about 2 or 3 leopard and tiger sharks, a few sand sharks and maybe a baby blue or two.

I should have stuck around as she probably caused every last one of those sharks to die of fright, but after all, this was a reserve. You'll often hear said, "The next time you think you're perfect .... " ... and low and behold, my girl can walk on water!!! HAHA, although I don't think anyone would call that walking!! It was more like when you find that Perfectly shaped skipping stone and you toss that as hard as you can and you could swear it was gonna skip all the way to the orient and back!

So I spent the next hour explaining to her that they were MUCH more scared of her than she was of them and that at the most they were MAYBE 2 feet long and as big around as her arm. She st-st-stut-tared something that conjured up visions of JAWS on STEROIDS for awhile that had women and children screaming for cover and the Coast Guard launching Full Military assaults ... well, ok so I might be exaggerating a little ... so she wasn't stuttering ... hehehe ...

Anyway, now that my ribs hurt from laughing so hard I'll wrap this up and get back to work ...

hehe ... but hey! What are Diving Buddies for?!?

:mission:

syruss32
October 25th, 2001, 11:31 AM
King Neptune I am going to have to say:


Nothing!

Because she outranks me and can banish me! "LD I don't think that was at all funny" is what I would say if I were being politically correct, but we all know that ain't me

Fishkiller
October 25th, 2001, 01:31 PM
LadyDiver you must be perfect.



otherwise you'd be in jail and I couldn't write messages on this fine Board.

joewr
October 25th, 2001, 01:38 PM
The knocking you hear on your door now is the Scuba Sherriff: you are going to jail!

The COLD A__ DIVERS think(CAD):cold: belongs to them. Of course, we copyrighted CAD :egrin: , so I am not worried...especially since it appears you are the one going to jail...

Joewr....this space still for rent...all proceeds going to the Fishkiller Defense Fund...or the Joewr Retirement Fund...

Fishkiller
October 25th, 2001, 01:54 PM
:confused:

no that knocking was the loan officers, JOEWR what have you done that makess you say I'm going to jail??


I mearly stated the obvious

Being perfect LD has let KN live and therefor allowed CAD to be born. KN has every right to say he has a perfect woman.

joewr
October 25th, 2001, 02:04 PM
Vice-President Fishkiller,

There has been some flack from the COLD A__ DIVERS and you said KN was not in jail...but that is because he pointed the finger at us...of course, you, as the highest ranking US officer of the corporation, will be our front man. Besides, you are the one with the silver tongue!

And, I agree, LD is a super dive buddy! And very patient!

Joewr...please contribute to the FishKiller Defense Fund...he is the father of a young diver...

Fishkiller
October 25th, 2001, 02:29 PM
Originally posted by Fishkiller


I mearly stated the obvious

Being perfect LD has let KN live and therefor allowed CAD to be born. KN has every right to say he has a perfect woman.

this is in place of what was typed before the issues here are not those of the CAD which are and will be stated elsewhere
This user appologizes to the few people that I may have offended by my approach to the happy diver a warm diver is a happy diver we are all divers

TwoBitTxn
October 25th, 2001, 04:24 PM
Ok now that I have stopped laughing, the tears are no longer streaming out of my eyes and I can type.....

KN its a wonder she hasn't tried to gain some modicum of revenge or is that story yet to come:mean:

Tom

Ladydiver
October 25th, 2001, 05:05 PM
KN,

We will be discussing this later.

large_diver
October 25th, 2001, 05:16 PM
Perhaps it was some type of twisted foreplay.......although WHO the foreplay was with is up for debate.......
:1st:

syruss32
October 25th, 2001, 05:18 PM
Maybe she burned his toast or it wasn't pasty white like some people like it and this was his revenge. Either way smart money has her coming out on top of this little estrangment!

gozumutti
October 26th, 2001, 03:46 AM
Dear KN

I am a bit surprised, you do not usually do such ill-advised things :D

ScubaBaby
October 26th, 2001, 06:58 AM
Maybe she burned his toast or it wasn't pasty white like some people like it

Syruss....I'm going to pretend i didnt read that!!! ;-0

syruss32
October 26th, 2001, 08:25 AM
Originally posted by ScubaBaby


Syruss....I'm going to pretend i didnt read that!!! ;-0

I'm sorry I couldn't resist! Where you been haven't seen much of you since the big promotion! If promoting means losing your posting all the time I have to officially request your demotion.

We Miss Ya!

Who's We you ask, click on the member button below, you will see the list of all the people who miss ya! Don't forget to go to the following pages as I broke it up in groups of 10 or so, so that everyone could read my list hehehehe

detroit diver
October 26th, 2001, 09:37 AM
The least you could do was buy her a new wetsuit after that ordeal!

L_D-make sure it the new fancy expensive type!!

King_Neptune
October 26th, 2001, 11:27 AM
*looking around*

What to do what to do .... OH LOOKY .... a scanner .... Anyone wanna see LD with BIG HAIR?!?

what to do ... what to do ...

martinjc
October 26th, 2001, 11:35 AM
Can you tell this will just not end well....<S>

joewr
October 26th, 2001, 01:25 PM
KN,

You are treading on very thin ice...about as thin as it gets on a summer day in San Diego!

I do not want to be around when LD spots this...

Joewr

syruss32
October 26th, 2001, 02:11 PM
Thems fightin words KN, so since you are in the doghouse anyway why not share the picture with us. I mean what more could she possibly do to you....

I wonder if he has read the post on Saudi Justice yet.....hmmmmm

Joewr - The only man alive that plays Monopoly with a 5% increase in rents every time a player goes around the board. Always trying to squeeze that extra little bit out....

ScubaBaby
October 26th, 2001, 06:18 PM
I think the pressures got to our :royal:

My god, he's suicidal!


Where you been haven't seen much of you since the big promotion!

Sorry syruss, its all this business of learning to drive a car, going into london for job interviews, trying to get work, learning to ride a motorbike ( eek! ) .... I have had less time on the board! Hopefully I'll be back posting as much as normal soon !

Until then, not too many ;-0 hun ! -x- :D

TwoBitTxn
October 26th, 2001, 06:30 PM
How deep is he gonna dig???

Post it KN. You can always come stay with the swampsters.

Tom

Kane(adian)
October 26th, 2001, 07:43 PM
Hope that you have a really big doghouse in the backyard, you might need it if you aren't careful, don't get me wrong though, everyone would love to see the picture, and no one would make any comments, I am sure.;)

syruss32
October 26th, 2001, 09:16 PM
And we would always respect our LD no matter what the picture showed! Not a snicker would be posted I am sure.

P.S. Is this a pic worthy of the national enquirer?

martinjc
October 27th, 2001, 01:37 AM
Speaking of pictures- I just noticed Abby updated hers with the OTHER photot from her website. I applaud the change! (Ah - to be young again) <S>

Belushi - you're a lucky guy - a lady with brains, humor, a charming personality AND she's pretty darned good looking! No pressure - but when I found a woman like that - I asked her to marry me!! 6 years and two beautiful children later - it was the best decision I ever made in my life!

ScubaBaby
October 27th, 2001, 10:21 AM
a lady with brains, humor, a charming personality AND she's pretty darned good looking

WHAT!!! Belushis got another woman !? :confused:

DivingGal
October 28th, 2001, 05:07 PM
I too had to wait until I stopped laughing (and crying)....

KN -- the trouble you can get into with just a few simple words. It is truely amazing, you guys do have a talent for it. Do you go for a training course that is not open to us gals?

LD -- I see you took that "walk on water course", I bet you never thought it would come in handy.... just kidding. :D I agree with the idea of asking for something real nice. Dive trip to someplace that YOU want to go to. Or, how about, back massages for - oh a month? (I'm a sucker for those)

amoeba
October 29th, 2001, 10:01 AM
KN - there are easier and less painfull ways to commit suicide.

LD - do you give lessons? 'Coz I'm sure it will definately come in handy one day. :D

ONESPEED
April 30th, 2009, 11:10 PM
:bump:

Sponsored Link

Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0 RC 2