what are the official scuba ranks?

there are so many posts with the bottom line being, this kind of diver is better than that kind of diver. PADI divers are better or worse than NAUI, TDI or SSI divers, divers that think deep air is fatal, and stupid. Cold water lousy vis divers are better than warm Caribbean divers, ocean divers are better than lake divers, unless it is a cold dark lake.

what are these skills that make you a God that the mere mortal could not possibly posses? do you breath best? are you a superior floater?

well the military has ranks, so I propose that we have a rank system so that I do not have to read any more posts about how great a diver you are. start on SB and the world will follow.

please offer your own ideas but maybe we could go with something like.

Flounder.
shark bait.
scuba bob.
mouth breather.
advanced super stud.
OMGod Dive master specialist.
you cant touch this, you may kiss my flippers.
I have done it all, been their, and done it, I am bored with you.
Top, super, studmuffin, master, blaster, underwater god of the seas.

and since each one is longer than the other all you have to do to know if you are a better diver than someone else is to measure your title against theirs.

I realize that everyone has an opinion on what works better than something else, but does it really make you a better ie superior diver to be able to suffer in cold water, what if I really do not like to be cold and I am fortunate enough to never have to dive in cold water if I don't want to. how is it superior to dive in a dry suit, just cause you cant get your feet above your head, is that restriction superior to bathing suit diving?

safe diving is better than unsafe diving, but if you can do unsafe diving and say it is safe because you took a course taught by someone that does this unsafe diving all the time, then you must be superior to all the mortals that can only dive safe which of course are superior to the divers that do unsafe diving ever day without training.

for only 34$ a person (visa, paypal, cash, check) I can sign you up for my new dive organization with the cool superior titles.



:: this may belong in comedy ::

I hereby petition to have Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville added as an official level.

This will only work if badges and saluting are involved.

Someone I know once aspired to this level ...



... Bob (Grateful Diver)

Hickdive:

This will only work if badges and saluting are involved.

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Badges??!? We don' need no steenking badges!!! I'm sorry. you had to know that one was coming

I had to.

NBT: Now a PADI specialty class.

I suppose next we'll be wearing uniforms with our rank on our shoulders... or perhaps just boat coats littered with sew-ons.

Great concept, but its backwards. The highest rank should be the shortest. I propose "fish." The lowest rank should be "watch that guy closely he doesn't know what he's doing." Somewhere in between fall the ranks of
"plays well with others under supervision" and "I think I see gills." Of course every DM would like the descriptive rank to be sewn on to every diver's wetsuit (or dry suit), or tattooed on their forehead.
DivemasterDennis

seaseadee:

Badges??!? We don' need no steenking badges!!! I'm sorry. you had to know that one was coming

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Yes, but I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition!

---------- Post added December 28th, 2013 at 04:43 PM ----------

DivemasterDennis:

... Of course every DM would like the descriptive rank to be sewn on to every diver's wetsuit (or dry suit), or tattooed on their forehead.
DivemasterDennis

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Open/Close with direction arrows worn as a shoulder flash on the right shoulder would probably be a good idea.

Tattoos on foreheads will never work as they'll be obscured by the mask.