scottbeach
February 19th, 2002, 07:00 PM
A buddy sent this to me. Some of you may have read this before, but where I'm struggling is... is a day of work topside any better?
Bad day at work
You have got to read this story, it's is supposedly true and hilarious!!
This is a true story about a guy named Rob who is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent his sister. She then sent it to Laughline, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won. Here's how his e-mail went:
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000.00 piece of crap sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, and then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. When I get to the bottom and start working, I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit, which floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds, my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my wet suit.
Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was a regular itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops (totaling 35 minutes) before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream
put the fire out, but I couldn't crap for 2 days because my butt hole was swollen shut.
So, the next time you think you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Love, Rob
[edited for formatting by TexasMike, Editing Gnomes Local 314]
Bad day at work
You have got to read this story, it's is supposedly true and hilarious!!
This is a true story about a guy named Rob who is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent his sister. She then sent it to Laughline, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won. Here's how his e-mail went:
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000.00 piece of crap sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, and then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. When I get to the bottom and start working, I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit, which floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds, my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my wet suit.
Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was a regular itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops (totaling 35 minutes) before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream
put the fire out, but I couldn't crap for 2 days because my butt hole was swollen shut.
So, the next time you think you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Love, Rob
[edited for formatting by TexasMike, Editing Gnomes Local 314]