Weight and body image

Moogyboy · Oct 11, 2004

I hope I'm not stepping out of line by posting this, especially here, but a post in another forum just kinda bugged me a bit and I thought I ought to open it up to discussion. I know that weight and body image are a touchy subject...but I'm curious about what attitudes are around here, especially with the women here who happen to be fuller in figure than normal.

Here's the thing, see: my girlfriend (who doesn't dive...at least not yet) is short but big, if you understand, and she's had to put up with body image resulting social problems all her life, so much so that she's aligned herself with the fat acceptance movement and has something of an adversarial stance with the so-called "normal" world which places so much importance on being thin and model-beautiful. Of course I love her a lot and I personally accept the way she looks (I think she's beautiful, no mincing of words), but the constant barrage of anti-weight bias all around from both media and individuals puts a lot of confusion in me, plus it doesn't do anything positive for her I'm sure. And I'd be lying if I said that the 90% of women who are "normal" girth aren't generally attractive...not that it really makes any difference in how I feel about my gf. This recent aggressive crusade against obesity in America is troubling as well...

Anyway, my head is swimming, and I wanted to field this (hopefully) discussion on how you ladies see this thing. Just trying to make sense of stuff as a guy who really really likes a big gal.

cheers

Billy S

The Kraken · Oct 11, 2004

To some it's about the concept of physical beauty, to others it's about the health of the individual.

To each his/her own . . .

However, speaking strictly from the health aspect, there are infinitely more adverse physical disorders associated with over weight/obesity persons than there are with proportionately weighted persons.

There are physiological reasons that can be associated with obesity and there can be individual dietary discipline reasons associated with obesity.

My concern would be for the person who can, by his or her own discretion, control an over weight problem but will not do so.

Kim · Oct 11, 2004

I can't speak as a lady as I'm not one! However I have several members of my family who are seriously overweight - including their kids. The only things that worries me about that are the health issues. I'd really hate to lose one of them too early to a heart attack or stroke because of their weight.

cdiver2 · Oct 11, 2004

My view to each is own, what size another person is, IS NON OF MY Business. looks or health wise. I wish these people that go on about other peoples looks would learn to keep there nose out and mouths shut. Remarks about someones weight/looks can be just as damaging health wise as the weight its self.
What ever happened to live and let live. If you need to concern yourself with what size others are you seriously need to get a life.

K-Rae · Oct 11, 2004

The Kracken:
However, speaking striclty from the health aspect, there are infinitely more adverse physical disorders associated with over weight/obesity persons than there are with proportionately weighted persons.

There is also the issue of a potential increase in risk for DCI, should the glorious day come when your girlfriend decides to get certified.

annie · Oct 11, 2004

I don't know what it must be like to be on the receiving end of all the anti weight stuff - it's probably awful. By its nature it's so visible that people will notice and will judge. That's just the way the world is.
As to how they judge . . . .obviously it's wrong to be insensitive or rude . . . and there could be all sorts of reasons for any particular individual being overweight that we don't know about. If I'm to be honest though I would wonder if they're not concerned enough for their own health to do something about it. How can they accept themselves like that, whatever about other people accepting them.

But I do agree with the principle that we should mind our own business and let them get on with whatever way they want to be.

cdiver2 · Oct 11, 2004

annie:
I don't know what it must be like to be on the receiving end of all the anti weight stuff - it's probably awful.

Yes it is. imagine this. person go's on a diet, gym three times a week and loses four pounds
Next time they go they have the four pounds back plus a pound and come home in tears. I have seen this.

If I'm to be honest though I would wonder if they're not concerned enough for their own health to do something about it. How can they accept themselves like that, whatever about other people accepting them.

Why is it some people think stupidity comes with being overweight?. They know being overweight is not the best condition for optimal health (probably better that the skinny people)

But I do agree with the principle that we should mind our own business and let them get on with whatever way they want to be.

I would rater have a friend that is overweight and a great personalty than a skinny one that is shallower than my bird bath

Moogyboy · Oct 11, 2004

annie:
reasons for any particular individual being overweight that we don't know about. If I'm to be honest though I would wonder if they're not concerned enough for their own health to do something about it. How can they accept themselves like that, whatever about other people accepting them.

What makes it especially hard on her is that in her case I don't think it's from eating, but rather from a thyroid disorder she has. She takes medication for it, but I don't think it helps with her weight. I doubt she could get thin even if she wanted to (and she doesn't...she is vehemently anti-dieting).

Perhaps part of the problem is the stereotype that excessive weight is necessarily caused by overeating, which suggests lack of will, "it's their own fault," etc. Inher case that isn't true as far as I know.

cheers

Billy S.

Click to expand...

Sue-ba · Oct 11, 2004

I know what it is like to battle weight to no avail since I had an underactive thyroid a few years ago. I lost most of that weight when I was finally diagnosed and medicated but still struggle with the last 15 or so pounds. It is hard and in my case some could say unfair because it was something I had no control over.

I sympathize with overweight people. We all know what we have to do but doing it is not as easy as saying it. I do have a problem however with obese children. I think that there is no one to blame but the parents. Kids have no control over what foods are coming into the house and they will eat what is available so when they get obese and have to suffer the health problems and the humiliation from their peers their whole life causing them serious self-esteem issues that complicate the problem, it is hard for me to have sympathy for the parents.

procyon · Oct 11, 2004

I don't generally care about other people's weight, as has been said, it's really none of my business. OTOH, if someone on my family is so overweight as to cause themselves health problems then I worry. Do I say anything? Maybe not, but I still worry.

Forget those pix in the mags though, they've all been retouched. Somewhere between those unrealistic photographs and obesity, there must be a compromise but it's all about the individual. You can't make anyone be what they can't be. If they are happy, truly happy, with themselves what difference does anyone else make?

Weight and body image

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