Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

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idratherbedivin

Contributor
Scuba Instructor
Divemaster
Messages
140
Reaction score
5
Location
Washington, DC
# of dives
200 - 499
I just thought I would share a funny dive quote i heard on the boat last weekend when i was diving and wanted to see some other funny/stupid comments they have heard on scuba boats.

This advanced open water diver surfaces from his second 100+ foot dive of the day and says, "These new dive computers sucks, they put me into deco when I still had 1500 psi."

Luckily we found out he came out of deco as he surfaced but we couldnt believe a AOW diver didn't know the reason behind deco or even what deco mode was on a computer! He had too sit out the final dive.
 
Not diving, but at a dive resort in the Philippines with a very laid-back Aussie owner.

Referring to toilet etiquette and the scarcity of freshwater for flushing the end-result away, he advised me from the comfort of his hammock "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, send it down".

Pure poetry.
 
In South Africa the standard is to surface when reaching 50 bar (not sure how much that is in PSI). Bear in mind this is drummed into us during training.

During a dive briefing the DM says on 50 bar we surface which is a normal part of the briefing. A friend of mine's wife asks "Do we surface on 50 bar of 15 bar". The dagger looks she got from other divers were brilliant. Needless to say I tried hard to appear that I didn't know them:D
 
Not diving, but at a dive resort in the Philippines with a very laid-back Aussie owner.

Referring to toilet etiquette and the scarcity of freshwater for flushing the end-result away, he advised me from the comfort of his hammock "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, send it down".

Pure poetry.
and the problem with laid backed aussies is??? :D

hubby has a tshirt somewhere with the quote "remember when scuba diving was dangerous and having sex was fun??" or something like that
 
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