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Thread: Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

 


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    idratherbedivin's Avatar
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    Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

    I just thought I would share a funny dive quote i heard on the boat last weekend when i was diving and wanted to see some other funny/stupid comments they have heard on scuba boats.

    This advanced open water diver surfaces from his second 100+ foot dive of the day and says, "These new dive computers sucks, they put me into deco when I still had 1500 psi."

    Luckily we found out he came out of deco as he surfaced but we couldnt believe a AOW diver didn't know the reason behind deco or even what deco mode was on a computer! He had too sit out the final dive.
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    Not diving, but at a dive resort in the Philippines with a very laid-back Aussie owner.

    Referring to toilet etiquette and the scarcity of freshwater for flushing the end-result away, he advised me from the comfort of his hammock "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, send it down".

    Pure poetry.
    As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities. - Voltaire

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    "Stay close to someone with a computer so you know how much air you have"

    -A Course Director to his wife (who was diving without an spg)

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    In South Africa the standard is to surface when reaching 50 bar (not sure how much that is in PSI). Bear in mind this is drummed into us during training.

    During a dive briefing the DM says on 50 bar we surface which is a normal part of the briefing. A friend of mine's wife asks "Do we surface on 50 bar of 15 bar". The dagger looks she got from other divers were brilliant. Needless to say I tried hard to appear that I didn't know them

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    Quote Originally Posted by THE Hammerhead View Post
    Not diving, but at a dive resort in the Philippines with a very laid-back Aussie owner.

    Referring to toilet etiquette and the scarcity of freshwater for flushing the end-result away, he advised me from the comfort of his hammock "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, send it down".

    Pure poetry.
    and the problem with laid backed aussies is???

    hubby has a tshirt somewhere with the quote "remember when scuba diving was dangerous and having sex was fun??" or something like that

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    Pee in your mask, spit in your wet suit.

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