Dive bloopers and practical jokes

[NOVIZWHIZ]

Funny and strange things happen to me all the time...okay, I kind of "encourage" things, too..... anybody got any stories to tell?

One of my favorites - I had a partner who was one of the nervous nellie types - guy sees an eel and looks like a ballistic missile launch at sea... guy BELIEVES in ghost - has seen them, heard them....we were relic diving at a Civil War site, about 10 ft deep and I had brung along a little something special - as a kid I had built one of those human skull models, thing stayed with me all through high school and even college - over the years a few teeth fell out, think I burned a chunk out of it with incense (that was during college), I'd sponge painted it with green and gray paint, little black...looked all moldy and deformed...I'd found it in an old box in my attic the day or two before the dive, stuck it in my goody bag...

We drop into the creek, viz is maybe two feet, and we're scrounging along side-by-side...I pull the skull out, pack a little mud/sand and some other 'bottom' junk in the eye socket and the other hole, reach around my partners shoulders and drag him over as if to show him something..I hear a questioning grunt and I stick the skull right in his face - for a millisecond he has this kind of "huh?" look in his eyes then all heck breaks loose - first I see recognition register in his eyes for like 1/2 of a millisecond then his eyes kinda explode in the mask, I mean it was like BOOM! eyes bulge so much they fill the mask - I hear this grunting scream that sort of evolves into a whoop and all I can see now is a blurry mass of flailing arms and legs, i did a duck and cover ...he hit the surface about 10 yds from the boat and swears he never touched the water again... took me two days to get him back in the water..

 

[buleetu]

HAHAh the poor guy, i can only imagine what i would have been like myself, good one

 

[lifes an ocean]

Man, glad i wasn't drinking when I finished reading this one. Water would of been all over my key board. )

 

[Hoomi]

Can you imagine how much worse it might have been if you'd put an old, half-rotted dive mask on the skull? "Wow; now we know what happened to my LAST dive partner!"

 

[bleeb]

Teaches him to monitor and stick closer to his buddy?

 

[Rileybri]

We were recently having issues with sea kayakers on Lake Champlain messing with out dive flag and attempting to take on some occasions. I had grown tired of trying to track them down and explaining what it was and why the need to leave it alone.
So I began taking a fake cut off hand (made to look like it has been cut off at the wrist) with me on dives in that area. The next time I felt a tug on the line I slipped the fake hand into the line holder and let them pull it in. I then surfaced after it with my real hand tucked into my wet suit, screaming bloody murder! Needless to say they were freaking out thinking they had just pulled my hand off. I think the got the message and I got my flag back and have not been messed with since!

 

[MasterFritts]

So I began taking a fake cut off hand (made to look like it has been cut off at the wrist) with me on dives in that area. The next time I felt a tug on the line I slipped the fake hand into the line holder and let them pull it in. I then surfaced after it with my real hand tucked into my wet suit, screaming bloody murder! Needless to say they were freaking out thinking they had just pulled my hand off. I think the got the message and I got my flag back and have not been messed with since!

OK now that is FUNNY. People are work are looking at me wondering why I am laughing so hard.

 

[Guba]

Gee, and I thought I had pulled off a good joke when I tucked a sandwich behind my partner's tank. Soon he was surrounded by a huge cloud of pesky little fish that absolutely would NOT leave him alone. I think he thought they were piranas.

Your practical jokes are better than mine.

 

[String]

For practical joke, food colouring dye (preferably the powder kind) in someone's wetsuit boots and/or gloves is good.
They surface, remove boots and gloves and find their extremities dyed blue.

Failing that stowing some dead/rotting marine life in someones drysuit/BC pocket whilst on the boat going home is worth it - it stinks after a few days.

 

[Hoomi]

Remind me not to ever leave my gear unattended around some of you folks.

Edit: After seeing this picture of a professional motorcycle racer's helmet, I started having weird ideas of how to decorate the lycra hood I picked up last night...