would you trust her?

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peejymvl

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Virginia Beach , VA
ok I am becoming a jabar-jaw, sorry, but if I dont ask, I will never know....

I originally was gonna sign my wife up for the course, but my own fears, lead me to not include her. I know it sounds a little selfish, but my wife is a very emotional person, and let me tell you about her fears. I have never in my life seen anyone so scared of bugs, I once saw her jump on top of a car while screaming bloody murder, because there was a spider in her cars front seat when she opened the door, a very very small one at that, like the size of a pens tip, seriously. I guess I am affraid that she will not tell me if she is uncomfortable, and may hurt herself simply to avoid spoiling my fun, or maybe she will tell me she is not comfortable, all the time, and I may never see the sea? I want to include my wife so very much, I can only imagine the amazing sites to see, I have dreamed of it for years, but lets be honest, it aint cheap, and it does require alot of mature decisions.(two reasons I waited so long to get into this) After reading some of the stories, seeing what can happen when someone panics, or simply just doesnt know what to do, I have the gravest fear that my wife could easily be one of those accidents just waiting to happen. If she were to see a body, or large fish, or anything out of her everyday routine, would she freak ? would I be smart enough, quick enough, and ready enough to save her? I dont want her to get hurt, or even worse dead, but I do want to share this with her, an recomendations?
 
peejymvl once bubbled...

I originally was gonna sign my wife up for the course, but my own fears, lead me to not include her.
What does she want to do ? no one should go diving because their spouse ,boyfriend,girlfriend ,friend etc dives .They should dive because they want to .If she wants to there is no reason she cant .just make sure she gets a good instructor .Any problems a person may have can be overcome.I know one couple the both have close to 100 dives but the husband does not think the wife is safe so he wont let her dive without him she could be a lot better diver if he would trust her more.
Joens
 
Has she every gone snorkeling? How did she react to that? And you never mentioned if she wants to learn to dive. Although its nice for a couple to be able to do things together, sometimes I think its good to have 'your thing' and 'her thing'.
 
I have to agree with joens. I would like to get my wife involved in scuba but we live in Ohio and I know she would not be hip to the cold. I would not write your wife off so fast. The group I dive woth there are alot of women who dive with us, some with the husbands some without. They all seem to do very well. I think the right instructor and the right first experiance will decide. I would siggest that you not be there when she takes the class. I have seen husbands/wifes take class togather and your instict is do it all for her and correct her. Let her do it on her own and learn to take care of herself. I would encourage her if thats what she wants to do. She might really suprize you:)
 
The first question is definitely as stated above, what her interests are.

Do you guys go to the beach ever? Is she afraid of what "thingies" there might be in the water that she can't see (my sister is one of these)? That could be a possible clue.

I also am the type to scream bloody murder if I see so much as an ant. I am an absolute girl and it takes me 10 minutes to work up the courage to kill a spider when it gets in the house. I even silenced an entire bar once when a Palmetto bug (the Florida word for a big roach) crawled across the table--I screeched that loud.

However, I have yet to find anything under water that makes me want to run away screaming. Now, I don't know where you live and the diving conditions you'll be swimming in, which could make a big difference (I don't know, are there more creepy crawlies in quarries and lakes?)

When you say emotional, that could be interpreted in lots of ways. How does she react to a near accident while driving--is she a good defensive driver, for instance? I ask this because it could be one way to see if she exhibits the ability to think and react quickly in a situation when it requires. That's not necessarily the perfect comparison, but another clue.

But, first and foremost, has she expressed interest in learning?
 
peejymvl once bubbled...
ok I am becoming a jabar-jaw, sorry, but if I dont ask, I will never know....

I originally was gonna sign my wife up for the course, but my own fears, lead me to not include her. I know it sounds a little selfish, but my wife is a very emotional person, and let me tell you about her fears. I have never in my life seen anyone so scared of bugs, I once saw her jump on top of a car while screaming bloody murder, because there was a spider in her cars front seat when she opened the door, a very very small one at that, like the size of a pens tip, seriously. I guess I am affraid that she will not tell me if she is uncomfortable, and may hurt herself simply to avoid spoiling my fun, or maybe she will tell me she is not comfortable, all the time, and I may never see the sea? I want to include my wife so very much, I can only imagine the amazing sites to see, I have dreamed of it for years, but lets be honest, it aint cheap, and it does require alot of mature decisions.(two reasons I waited so long to get into this) After reading some of the stories, seeing what can happen when someone panics, or simply just doesnt know what to do, I have the gravest fear that my wife could easily be one of those accidents just waiting to happen. If she were to see a body, or large fish, or anything out of her everyday routine, would she freak ? would I be smart enough, quick enough, and ready enough to save her? I dont want her to get hurt, or even worse dead, but I do want to share this with her, an recomendations?

Has she expressed interest and you said no? Or are you not asking...Quite a difference between the two...My wife doesn't want to dive, which is fine with me, since she lets me dive... :)

What do spiders have to do with diving (crabs?)? I don't like spiders (don't jump scared from them, but don't like them...) but I'm completely comfortable diving...

Maybe you should let her decide...If you don't, she may decide to do things without you also...

The other issues have been addressed by others...
 
my wife is the type that would have climbed on your wife's shoulders on top of that car. however, she does not have a problem with underwater critters at all. it's actually more the opposite: she touches everything that cannot get away quickly enough. you may want to go snorkeling together first to gauge how she likes the underwater world. that's actually how my wife sold me on diving.
 
One of my best friends is PETRIFIED of spiders - I had to go around to her house one night after 11pm to remove a spider from a light fitting for her (well, this was in Australia, and it was venemous like most things there), and I've seen her jump into people's arms at the sight of a spider while hiking (gee hope she doesn't read this forum). Yet she is the person who got me interested in scuba in the first place, and she's a scuba nut.

So a terrestrial fear of spiders is not counterindicative of the ability to be a great diver!
 
Why not ask her instead of a bunch of strangers on the net? Sorry to sound harsh, but sheesh! What's wrong with telling her exactly what you told us?
 
Sue, let's face it, it would be difficult to bring this up with your spouse because, well, it's not exactly a vote of confidence, is it? It might even be construed as a little patronizing, so I think he's afraid of the reaction he would get.

In any event, if she wants to get certified, I think she should sign up on her own. That way she can go through the training and concentrate on that, not what her husband is thinking.
The bug thing does not necessarily translate to general fear of water dwelling crawlies, trust me.
 
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