Buddy obligations

[Iralub]

I'm hoping for some collective wisdom re what is the appropriate course of action in this situation:

I'm an inexperienced AOW certified diver ("advanced" doesn't really mean advanced does it!). On a recent dive trip, travelling solo, I'm buddied up with a woman who is obviously a very experienced diver with her own fancy equipment. The dive is done as a group of 4 divers (2 buddy pairs), led by a DM, with a TDM at the rear of the group. There is a thorough dive briefing in advance, including review of hand signals and responding to them, sticking close to your buddy, buddy separation procedures, following the group, all go up together etc. It is a fairly deep site (over 25m) and there is a bit of current.

Prior to the dive I try to communicate with my buddy and tell her that I'm not very fast underwater and also that I descend fairly slowly as otherwise I tend to have equalisation problems. That is acknowledged (or so I think). We do a buddy check, although she's determined to rush through it and then complain that people are taking too long to get in the water.

We go in and descend. My buddy shoots for the bottom like she's emulating an anchor. The rest of the group, including myself, are descending slowly, especially as one person (not me) is having equalisation issues. Once we reach designated depth, the DM signals for me and my buddy to get together and we do... for about 10 seconds after which she swims off. Throughout the dive, she is intent on getting as far away from the dive group as possible (although within sight - the vis was very good). When I try to swim up closer to her, she takes off again. She's a lot faster than me, I can't keep up with her and she seems intent on being by herself. She's not responding to hand signals either from me or from DM, including instructions to get back with her buddy.

There's a a current and I don't feel safe playing chasey with my buddy 25m underwater when she's determined to get away. I get the DM's attention to let him know that my buddy is swimming off (again) and I can't keep following her and then I stick with the group. She ignores the DM's instructions to get back to the group. Personally I'm feeling quite safe with the group - it is very well supervised, my air is good (I check air every couple of minutes and tend to use less air than most people anyway), so I'm not concerned for myself, but am a bit frustrated and unsure of what to do re my buddy. I do try to keep an eye on her and she looks perfectly comfortable, but she is deliberately keeping her distance. Within sight (the vis is very good), but probably not within the "get some air NOW" distance (taking into account the current).

What are my obligations as a buddy in a situation like this? Do I keep trying to chase the buddy? Do I bring it to the DM's attention and then follow the course I think is safest for me (which was to stay with a well supervised group) but which means my buddy is swimming off by herself and may be too far if she has a problem? Does that depend on how much experience/skill I have? (not much at the moment, but am working on it).

 

[Doc]

What are my obligations as a buddy in a situation like this? Do I keep trying to chase the buddy? Do I bring it to the DM's attention and then follow the course I think is safest for me (which was to stay with a well supervised group) but which means my buddy is swimming off by herself and may be too far if she has a problem? Does that depend on how much experience/skill I have? (not much at the moment, but am working on it).

You did fine, likely went beyond. Insta-buddies can present hundreds of issues, and the disparity in perceived ability level is a big one. Her perception of your needs and abilities might have given her internal approval to do what she did. There are several levels of dive buddies, on the far end is SOSD (Same Ocean Same Day). In her mind, she may not have even reached that category. (IE: You were still within her sphere of assistance, altho she was not within your realm of assisting her)

I would have tried to stay close once or twice, given her the buddy-up, slow down sign... then as that was obviously not working (for whatever reason), I would have instead wandered over to the DM and just informed him: "she went bye-bye, I'm with you now".

At that point your only further obligation is to point the rescue divers in the direction where she was last seen.

 

[fisheater]

You did great!

She basically abandoned you and the dive plan. Her problem.

I'd have done the same thing. I might even have turned to the DMT and signaled that we were buddies now.


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[lowviz]

...//... Throughout the dive, she is intent on getting as far away from the dive group as possible (although within sight - the vis was very good). When I try to swim up closer to her, she takes off again. She's a lot faster than me, I can't keep up with her and she seems intent on being by herself. She's not responding to hand signals either from me or from DM, including instructions to get back with her buddy. ...//....

You didn't bring her to the dive, you got the luck of the draw. A DM assigned her to you.

Her selfish actions only served to ruin your dive and draw you into harm's way. You had no business chasing her at your level, not even once. A DM couldn't control her actions, why the guilt thinking that you should be able to?

 

[wspalding]

I think the reality is that most experienced divers are very comfortable diving solo, and it sounds to me like that was her expectation, regardless if whether she was buddied up by the DM. Not saying her actions were acceptable, but I would wager she was annoyed at being buddied up and expected to go it alone.


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[Iralub]

IE: You were still within her sphere of assistance, altho she was not within your realm of assisting her)

That is something I confess I haven't considered - she may have felt confident that she could reach me or the group in an emergency, while for me it would seem to be a difficult or impossible undertaking given the depth, current (not super strong, but enough to make things more difficult) and possible panic reactions that can occur in emergencies. Fortunately, as no emergency happened, I have no basis on which to judge whether the confidence exceeded the competence or not.

---------- Post added September 11th, 2014 at 10:35 PM ----------

I think the reality is that most experienced divers are very comfortable diving solo, and it sounds to me like that was her expectation, regardless if whether she was buddied up by the DM. Not saying her actions were acceptable, but I would wager she was annoyed at being buddied up and expected to go it alone.

You'd win the wager
She was indeed very annoyed by requirements to stick with the group, respond to signals, etc and complained to anyone who'd listen. I think she does often dive solo and thought the level of supervision was more suitable to kindergarten children (someone like me on the other hand thought it was great!)

I guess that's something I'll have to bear in mind if buddied up with very experienced divers and find a tactful way to communicate a request to temper the solo dive tendencies as I for one am unlikely to be able to reach someone 30m away in a real emergency.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

You did what I would have done under the circumstances. As a buddy, your obligation is to ...

- develop a dive plan to your buddy
- stick with the plan
- dive within your level of training/expertise and your comfort zone
- dive in a safe, responsible manner
- be available for assistance, and assist to the best of your training/ability should it be needed

Both buddies share these responsibilities. You should not get out of your own sphere of comfort or safe diving ability in order to accommodate a buddy who will not adhere to their responsibilities.

Given the description of the dive, you are under no obligation to put yourself in a bad place by attempting to stay with her. I'd say your only responsibility at that point is to your own safety. Do not go underwater with her again. If she or a DM asks, tell them why.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

---------- Post added September 11th, 2014 at 05:41 AM ----------

You'd win the wager
She was indeed very annoyed by requirements to stick with the group, respond to signals, etc and complained to anyone who'd listen. I think she does often dive solo and thought the level of supervision was more suitable to kindergarten children (someone like me on the other hand thought it was great!)

I guess that's something I'll have to bear in mind if buddied up with very experienced divers and find a tactful way to communicate a request to temper the solo dive tendencies as I for one am unlikely to be able to reach someone 30m away in a real emergency.

It depends on the diver. The majority of experienced divers I know will adjust their diving practices and/or expectations to accommodate the skill level of the person they're buddied with. Most of the experienced divers I know understand that it's part of the obligation of agreeing to buddy with someone that you adjust the parameters of the dive to accommodate the least experienced diver. If you aren't willing to do that, you shouldn't agree to buddy with that person in the first place.

Sounds to me like you got stuck with a pretty self-centered person who didn't really want to dive with you. That's not a buddy team, by any definition of the term ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[lowviz]

...//... I for one am unlikely to be able to reach someone 30m away in a real emergency.

Don't even try.

Next time you are in a pool in dive gear go to the shallow end, hands on wall, fin as hard as you possibly can for one minute, then just try to get onto your octo...

 

[Steve_C]

Another version of "don't dive if it does not feel right" is "If the instabuddy does not seem to want you as a buddy, do not buddy with them."

I would have mentioned to the DM or TDM out of instabuddies hearing that " my buddy seems reluctant. If they take off or set a pace I am uncomfortable with I am going to buddy with you."

They have seen it all 100 times and should say ok.

 

[drbill]

When I end up being buddied up vs diving my usual solo, I try to make sure the dive plan is understood and agreed to. Being a fairly experienced diver diver (52 years), if I accept an instabuddy who is a new diver or one with self-acknowledged issues, I try to maintain regular vigilance. Frequent checking on my buddy greatly impacts my ability to locate and film subjects (the purpose of all my dives), but if I've agreed to a buddy arrangement I have to accept the situation.

Diving in Fiji I had one instabuddy who announced on board the boat that he was not going to follow the rules. He descended rapidly, and at 125 fsw while he was still heading down I signaled the DM 60 ft above us to go get him as I was joining up with the rest of the group. On the next dive I requested another buddy. That buddy was a new diver and acknowledged he was an "air hog." He was right (the dive lasted about half the time compared to what I would have done solo). He apologized profusely afterward and I told him not to be concerned. He had stated his limitations and I had accepted them when I buddied up with him.

Your buddy should have done the same thing. From your description of the events, you did the right thing.