Rude Divers on the Boat

[UserNameBella]

Learn how to scuba dive they said. You'll make new friends they said. I think they were lying.

While I have made good friends with a few divers over the last few months and a few great DM's and Instructors I think I am batting a 1000 for sharing boats with genuine rude divers. I've had a fellow diver on a boat lose his ever loving mind, because I used my alternate during a safety stop after biting through the tabs on my primary during the dive. According to him I should have had a snorkel too and I was putting my perma buddy in danger by using the alternate. In fifteen feet (5 meter ) of water he was in so much danger. The DM did step in on that one.

I've had a diver tug my regulator hose to get my attention when my attention wasn't really that mandatory (they weren't my buddy, they weren't in trouble and I have seen a filefish before).

I had an older lady tell me in a round about way that I shouldn't be diving with more experienced divers like her because I got low on air at 55 minutes after a pretty deep dive and we all had to ascend. Like those five minutes were the ruin of her vacation.

And I will never forget the woman who got buck naked in front of my husband because obviously wearing anything under a wet suit is not mandatory.

But this last guy took the cake. I found a cute little cowfish, posing all nice in front of a barrel sponge, so I proceeding to get myself in position for a nice shot, trying my hardest not to scare the little guy. This diver actually shoved me out of the way, using both hands in order to line himself up for a shot. Probably scaring the crap out of the cowfish and totally freaking me out.


So what can you do? I guess I can tell the dive op I won't dive with this person anymore? But they do every dive daily so I won't be diving for a while. I can tell them there actions are inappropriate, but if an adult doesn't know that shoving another adult or getting naked isn't right I'm sure me telling them isn't going to help. I guess I can go to another dive op, but I otherwise like the op.

I have only been diving five months, so it really seems like I have gotten lucky with this boat mates, or is this par for the course and I should just take up shore diving?

What to do with really rude divers?

 

[tursiops]

Hanlon's razor - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

Yes, there are some really rude, pushy people, but mostly I think there are just stupid people and really focused people. The stupid people have no idea what chaos and grief they cause, because they do not know any better, and the really focused people (often because of stress-related tunnel vision) actually don't see you lining up a picture, or reaching for the ladder, or whatever. So, I think there are four things you do when you get back on the boat:
(1) ignore it, find a way to avoid it, hope it goes away (but, "hope is not a strategy")
(2) for the really focused: tell then what they did and how it affected you, and offer to do things that will destress them
(3) for the stupid people: assume they don't know any better and try and educate them as to the problems they caused
(4) for the rude and pushy: try and involve the DM, don't get rolled over, stand up for yourself

In all cases, make the case for how safety was compromised by their behavior.

And in all cases, deal with it back on the boat, immediately, not underwater and not the next day.

If all else fails, laugh at them, and get others to laugh at them, and try and use shame as your tool.

Maybe it will work for you....none of this has worked for me very well. There are some real a$$es out there.

 

[JahJahwarrior]

I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience...there are certainly different types of boats and over time, you can find operations that cater to mostly polite divers.

But! We've all been that rude diver before, on accident.

I wasn't thinking one day, using the nice hot water shower hose--a hose, not a hard plumbed shower head--and I faced it into the boat while I faced off of the boat. Didn't realize the people behind me were getting sprayed until the DM pointed it out. I felt pretty bad!

Recently underwater, was trying to get into place for a shot as my two buddies passed through a landmark position. Was fiddling with a setting, thought I saw them about to swim through first. Hadn't seen the other team that had snuck up behind us--and who I cut off quite rudely. Turned around to take the photo of my buddies and instead took a great shot of a diver giving me the finger! (we laughed about it, he and I, after the dive when I apologized, and it's now one of my favorite pictures)

Hope your boat diving experiences get better! If not, is there shore diving you can do?

 

[TMHeimer]

My charter experience over 10 years is quite varied locale--wise, but low in number. I would think tursiops hit the nail on the head about some people. I have been lucky in that I can't recall any bad experiences with others on any of the boats. I hope your luck changes. I assume you aren't talking about a charter op in CANADA-- there are no rude people in CANADA.

 

[Bob DBF]

Act like you are from New Jersey. My buddy is and does, I'm more of a sarcasm kind of guy.

Actually, I doubt that any of them even know they are being rude, or don't care because they know they are entitled. Being polite to them, from my experience, justifies their position, and actions, in their own mind.

Canadians, being a polite people, are at a disadvantage.

Get more of your friends to go diving with you, outnumber the rudeness.



Bob
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[KeithG]

i have found that by avoiding operations that insist on group cluster dives, most of the stupidity and rudeness happens some where else...

group dives promote opportunities for both behaviours. try diving with just a trusted buddy and the world suddenly becomes a happier place. no one getting in your way, no one silting things up, no one scaring the critters,...

we still do boat dives, but we try to be first off the boat and get away before the cluster begins. this does not always work. sigh.

 

[TSandM]

I've dived off a lot of boats in a lot of places, and I have never run into the kinds of things you're seeing. I do do quite a bit of research (most of it HERE) on which dive ops to use and which not to -- and I have a huge advantage of belonging to what amounts to an international "club", so I can call out and see if I can arrange some friends on the boat when I'm there. (That's how we did our trip to West Palm Beach in Florida.)

If this is your routine experience, either you are diving in a bad area or you have had the disfortune to choose bad dive ops.

 

[Jim Lapenta]

The guy that shoved you out of the way? This is how you handle an ass like that. The next time you are under, get all excited over the shot you are about to take of.........NOTHING! Act like a new species of pygmy something is inside a crack in the reef. When the jerk moves in, swim away and find something truly interesting . People like that are usually so consumed with seeing what you saw and stealing your find that he'll spend half the dive looking for it. And you'll have been neither rude nor nasty. Just "mistaken " about what you "saw" if asked. Unless you choose to tell him in front of the boat you did it because he was such a jerk before.

 

[redacted]

I have to wonder if your camera would have shut down the stripper. Worth a try.

You could have been more respectful of the older lady. Perhaps you should have congratulated her on being such a good diver at her age.

A brief word to the photographer might have helped. If not, you have a choice of avoiding or messing with him.

 

[Saltyhawg]

Sorry for your bad experience. Only been diving a year myself but we've had a great experience every time. Have met some great people from all over the US, Netherlands, Brazil and Egypt. Some that we still stay in contact with. All were more experienced than we were but were encouraging and helpful.