My business or nobody's business?

[Stasis]

Hope this is the right forum, and please take the question the way its intended as I'm quite concerned and not sure how to handle the situation.

We are off to the Maldives in a few weeks for what we hope is the holiday of a lifetime I have about 50 dives, have passed my rescue etc. so I would consider myself a good basic diver.

One of the group we are going with is nearly 50 has about 10 dives (OW) and has said is planning on doing quite a lot of diving out there which would be fine...

But, and this is a bit of a delicate issue in that my friend is 6 ft tall very inactive and is currently 330 pounds (thats just under 24 stone in English money) and this shoots his BMI into the mid 40's. I KNOW BMI is not a great measure and that you can have athletes with high BMI and not an ounce of fat on them but it isn't the case here.

I am just really concerned for my friend, I don't want to ruin his holiday but worry that he is too heavy and too unfit to dive safely....

I am sure there will be people saying they know someone who is 50 stone and has been diving for years, well fine, but with 10 dives my friend really is a beginner, OK it will be mainly drift diving, but I think people underestimate the amount of stress and physical work involved in any dive, coupled with the weight of equipment AND extra weight he will have to take for buoyancy.

Of course I will keep a close eye on him as he will be my buddy on occasion, indeed I do that with every buddy, but should someone mention to him whether it is safe or indeed wise for him to dive, both for his safety and others, is it my business, the Dive Centres business or nobody's business, as some Dive Centres I've visited have been of the opinion you sign the waiver you can dive, in the end who's call should it be?

 

[Wookie]

I too have a very high BMI. I crossfit every day, I am active, and I dove a lot.

Don't let your worry for this guy ruin your holiday. It's his business to accept the risks or not, and if the worst should happen, at least he was involved in his passion.

 

[cbm32]

I am significantly overweight, 60 years old, and have spinal cord damage that leaves me unable to get around very well. I am legally handicapped, and I actually spent five years in a wheel chair before being able to work my way out of it (was never supposed to walk again according to the doctors). But, guess what? Underwater in dive gear, I am not handicapped at all and manage to out dive a lot of young, fit, high energy guys that would put me to shame out of the water.

What do I mean by "out dive"? Well, if one works smarter instead of harder one can deal with current better and my air usage is far better than most younger more fit people I dive with.

I would hope that your friend recognizes his own limitations, but IMO those are probably more based on inexperience than fitness, and chooses dives that he is ready for as he gains experience. Very little of it will be due to his fitness.

But then, maybe that is just me.

 

[Basking Ridge Diver]

Of course I will keep a close eye on him as he will be my buddy on occasion, indeed I do that with every buddy, but should someone mention to him whether it is safe or indeed wise for him to dive, both for his safety and others, is it my business, the Dive Centres business or nobody's business, as some Dive Centres I've visited have been of the opinion you sign the waiver you can dive, in the end who's call should it be?

Assuming you are not his parent - it is his call and the Dive Center call. IMO - it is not your call - if you want to talk to him about your concerns as a friend that is fine but keep it cordial and expect that after you air your concerns you may or may not have the same relationship you had before the talk.

 

[Damselfish]

That's a tough one. When I was in the Maldives someone with 10 dives would have have no business being on some the dives. Possibly it would have also been a bad idea for someone not decently fit. It was sometimes actually necessary to fight a strong current to get where you needed to be. (Wasn't always just a matter of being smart about how you handled the current, and it was not always obvious until we were actually in the water.) OTOH, not all dives there are like that, it depends where you dive and the luck of the draw with conditions at the time.

Obviously telling someone they're too fat to dive isn't going to go over well. I'm sure he's well aware if he's not in great shape. Perhaps you could get away with pointing out that the conditions there are not always suitable for inexperienced divers and the smart diver thing to do would be to discuss it with the DM, pay close attention to the briefings, and maybe be selective about which dives he does. Possibly after a few dives he will have a better idea of his limitations there, if any. It's his choice, but a gentle push in the right direction may be useful & appropriate - something only you will know.

Do take reef hooks. For some reason no one suggested or had them on our trip, but they are apparently used there, and they would have been a big help. (Another skill to learn.)

 

[RandomGuy1]

Maybe casually mention that you are going to get a dive physical before the trip since it is such a big investment of time / money and suggest that he do the same? I wouldn't mention the weight as some people get very offended.

 

[chillyinCanada]

May I ask where in the Maldives you intend to dive?

My Maldivian experiences were like Damselfish's. It's hard for me to imagine.

Keep a close eye out and try to stick close to the guide. Some of them can be quite helpful.

Wishing for you the dream trip you seek.

I'll be back again late this year.

 

[RJP]

I am just really concerned for my friend, I don't want to ruin his holiday but worry that he is too heavy and too unfit to dive safely....

If he's your friend, and you're concerned, it's your business. You'd need to be a sociopath to think otherwise.

Whether or not - and how - to say something is a different question.

If he were a friend of mine I'd say something like "I'm really looking forward to diving on that trip too! Been doing some interesting reading that says the drift diving in the Maldives is a bit more strenuous than diving other places. Folks like us... we're not getting any younger... we oughta be careful we don't overdo it." And then see where it goes. From there, the approach depends some on the specifics of just how good a friend you are and the nature of the relationship you have.

I've got buddies that I can just come out and say "Dude, I'm really worried about the ladder on the dive boat. I hope it doesn't crumple under your Clydesdale @ss!" And after a good-natured "FU!" and a laugh back from him I'd say "But seriously, dude. I'd hate to see anything happen..." or similar.

In short, is it your place to tell him what he can and can't do? Of course not. But if you're concerned and want to express that concern to your friend I think you should, and there are any number of ways that can be done that your friend will appreciate. Even if he don't modify a thing, he should be happy to know you're watching out for him.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

As others have mentioned, whether or not it's a concern will to a large degree depend on the type of dives you do. There are some very nice, very easy dives in the Maldives. And he probably won't have any problem doing those. But the big attraction there seems to be the channel dives, which are high-current and require the use of reef hooks. These are sometimes in places that go deeper than a sensible diver wants to contemplate, and so buoyancy control in high-current becomes a concern.

One thing you might recommend is to locate some videos of Maldives diving, and invite your friend over to watch them. It may help just to set some expectations, and let him decide what kinds of dives he thinks he can handle.

The other thing to consider is that if you have a whale shark sighting, you're going to be snorkeling/free diving ... which can be strenuous if you're swimming along trying to keep up with a large moving animal. Make sure he's aware that while this could be the highlight of the trip, it might also be beyond his physical abilities to handle safely ... as they were for someone on our trip. Keep a close eye on him in that case ... it gets a bit hectic out there once the day boats show up and start discharging swimmers in a huge scrum around the animal ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[chillyinCanada]

Initially, I was very nervous about this 'setting reef hook' business, but once I was shown the first time it was easy peasy. I share this with you just in case that was a little niggle in your mind, like it had been in mine.