Crowley

The statistical incidence of a recreational dive resulting in decompression sickness is something like 1 in 10,000. Not many people get to make 10,000 dives and the mathematically logical (if not practical) conclusion is that most divers will never get bent, even if - as a dive guide - I feel that some people are working really hard to get themselves into the chamber, and yet we'll take them there free of charge if they really want to have a look around.

I’ve clocked up maybe 3,500 ...

Pretty much everybody that's had a close personal relationship with another human being has experienced times when that person - just for a little while - is not their favourite person in the whole wild world. You had an argument, stormed off into another room, felt guilty a bit later on, then had some fantastic make-up nookie.

That was my day yesterday, except my close personal relationship is with a WWII shipwreck and I didn't get the make-up nookie afterwards. I was at Thistlegorm ...

Na'ama Bay, the centre of Sharm El Sheikh has, over the years, often been dubbed "Drama Bay", especially by long term residents of the area, but as I continue to eke out my existence here, I'm beginning to feel like I really am living in the middle of some farcical sitcom, rather than a soap opera.

First there were shark attacks, travel problems due to frozen airports and very much unfrozen volcanoes, then a random earthquake followed by a popular uprising, bloody riots at ...

Regular readers will know how much I love running our trips to the wreck of the SS Thistlegorm. Okay - there are not many people who really love to get up at 4:30am but once I've finished the oversized mug of rocket fuel, I really enjoy my day. Today I had a great group of divers, very experienced and none of whom I have to worry about ('cos we don't take people that we're worried about to Thistlegorm in the first place), and none of whom have ever dived with me prior to this holiday, so they haven't ...

Title to be sung to the tune of "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen. Thank you Freddie Mercury, although I think radio stations might not be allowed to play it these days in case it discriminates against people with pert bottoms, or some such nonsense.

So I am just a teensy-weensy bit wound up tonight, because today, a glass-bottomed boat made a concerted effort to decapitate some of my divers, and later almost removed one of my fingers and and then tried to give me an ultra-close ...