Tell us your most embarassing bloopers?

[exnewwavedivers]

Once, as a training divemaster, I was asked by my instructor to demonstrate clearing a partially flooded mask to a Korean girl doing the Discover Scuba Diving course.

I had problems communicating with this girl who does not really understand English well. Anyway, I slowly explained to her how to do the procedure and finally, both of us went underwater to kneel down and perhaps due to stress (I was nervous), I realized too late that I did not have my mask on. So I started giving her the sign that says "breathe in, breathe out." Of course the instructor was just beside and laughing his a-- off.

Anyway, we stood up again and I told her that we are going to kneel down again and do the skill. So we did and then I realized that, again, I did not have my mask on! Of course my instructor by this time was choking because of laughing too much.

:goofy:

 

[large_diver]

First boat dive after my AOW class -- I volunteered to navigate.....we surfaced 150 yards away from the boat because of my "outstanding" neophyte navigation skills. My buddy and I still laugh about it.

 

[King_Neptune]

Have you ever not seated everything properly and firmly before switching your freshly filled tank all the way on or maybe not checked those O-rings lately to make sure they are full of life and not all cracked out? Have you ever not done those things and about 3 seconds later you BLOW that O-ring into next week?

If you have been in that or a similar situation then you know that your heart flies out your chest and catches up or even passes that Time-Traveling O-Ring!

Now, if you haven't done this in the general airspace of a few dozen students getting ready to get in the pool for the first time and scared their fondest childhood memories right out of them, then you haven't really lived up to the full potential of just how embarrassed you can feel at this Frozen block of time.

While I was still in the Army, I often helped out at the local pool as I was placed in charge of some of the base physical fitness facilities.

Why is this so bad? Well, lets just say that they canceled ALL pool classes for the night because everyone refused to get back in the pool after TWO, Not Just 1 but 2, of the students had the "WARHAMMER Maneuver" scared out of them ...

I figured I now had Instructors, Students and probably the pool cleaner rather upset with me. There was 2 different dive shops sharing this pool and at first I thought they were rather upset that they now basically lost almost a full night that would have to be repeated ...

My saving grace...
The 2 "Party-Poopers" (sorry, couldn't help the pun) that soiled the evening, were a couple of Young "Butter Bars" ...
Which in the Army is a slang term used to reference the Bright Gold Bars on the shoulders of the first and lowest rank officer, a Lieutenant.

As many of the fresh Butter Bars did, these guys were cooler than cool and they knew EVERYTHING, just ask them! They acted like they thought they were Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer in "Top Gun" ... hitting on every female there and looking down their noses at everyone else.

The Lead Instructor for that group came over and told us all their story and how he had to warn them to stop harassing the ladies or he would kick them from the class, and also how they bragged to everyone that they looked so good because they were these super health nuts and ate all these Natural Foods, etc...

With tears in his eyes from laughing so hard, he then thanked me and said he would have paid untold fortunes to have had that on video!

When a few of the ladies had started to clap and everyone else joined in the applause, I couldn't help but laugh in almost painful relief!

Needless to say, that story lived on around there for a LONG time! Although most razzed me about being the hero of the day, I couldn't help but turn red everytime someone pointed me out...

=-)

 

[exnewwavedivers]

On my first ever course, I took out a couple of students on their first boat dive. I thought I did a pretty good job during the academic portion of the course and the confined water dive sessions.

Anyway, after we finished assembling and checking our equipment, I reminded them once again the value of checking equipment properly before diving all the time.

For no reason at all, one of the student's regulator started free-flowing. It should have been easy for me to open the regulator right there and clean it as the problem was most likely sand that got stuck somewhere. I didn't because I was totally stressed out. Did not even have spare equipment on board.

I ended up doing two dives, taking one down at a time.

Lessons learned:

Check equipment personally before the students arrive.
Carry spare equipment always.
Laugh about it and use it as an example to divemaster trainees.

:all:

 

[Walter]

............as a DM on a boat in the Keys. We were running a tad late getting in from the morning trip, so the afternoon crowd was waiting to load when we arrived at the dock. The switch from morning to afternoon divers went smoothly.

We were ready to go with about 20 divers on the boat and about 20 on the dock. I was standing on the dock to untie the boat. As I finished the last line I pushed the bow out from the dock to make the departure easier. As I pushed, I stepped on the gunwale. Normally, I'd walk to the rear of the cabin where the railing drops to a height of 4 inches over the gunwale and step into the boat. On this particular day, there were several divers working on their gear at that place. Rather than disturb them, I continued walking to the stern where there were no people in my way.

As I reached the stern, I lost my balance and fell overboard. As I was falling, I saw that 4 inch high rail and made a grab for it. I was able to snag it and swing around to stick a perfect landing on the swim platform. The dock erupted in applause, but I was sneaking a look up to the bridge hoping the captain hadn't seen it. I knew if John had seen my screw up, I'd never live it down. Turns out, he did see me, but since in his words, "It looked like you planned it." he never gave me a hard time about falling overboard.

WWW™

 

[Mario S Caner]

A couple of years ago while diving in San Clemente I was geared up and waiting for my buddy to get his gear and video camera ready to hit the water. Since I had to wait a couple of more minutes I had my Oakley sunglasses on and just chilled out and socialized. Well when he was ready he jumped on in and wanted to video tape my entry to start his recording.

Well, somehow I left my Oakley's around my neck when I did my giant stride entry, which my buddy was quick to point out... on film. Without skipping a beat I took my mask off and put my Oakley's on and proceeded to dive with them on. Thus what could have been a sticky, embarassing situation was avoided.


One other trip where we were gearing up in realtively heavy seas to complete a deep technical dive, I made a very embarassing mistake.

When you have multiple cylinders and you gear up, you sit down, don your straps and then get up and throw yourself overboard... Well I sat down, donned my gear, got all of my accessories and regulators situated just as I liked them and looked up to see a couple of the guys snickering... I quickly found out what they found so amuzing when I tried to get up. Turns out I forgot to undo the bungee cords that kept my gear from rolling around the boat. Doh! what a rookie mistake. They laughed, and I reluctantly joined in... eace:

 

[caymancase]

We ended up with an extra diver on our boat for our morning trip and didn't have enough tanks on board so we decided to borrow a couple of tanks off of a friends boat. With my boyfriend driving our boat and me being the "borrower" we pulled up to our friends boat. I deftly (yea right!) grabbed onto to other boat and ended up hanging by the railing! With no footholds, thank you very much. My BF, being the comedian that he is, thought this was great and left me hanging for awhile! As I yelled in my best "Dudley- Do Right Nell" voice "Help..help" our boat full of divers and all the people on the beach laughed uproariously. Oh Brother! He finally "rescued" me.. what a guy!
And, Mario, I'm always "trying"(not on purpose) to dive with my Oakleys on... get ready to make that giant stride and..oops! Casey

 

[Tom]

I came up from the first dive of the day and flipped my weight pockets on the back of the boat. When the ladder cleared I slipped out of my BC, which was immediately grabbed by the mate, then climbed aboard. I helped my wife do the same and headed for front of the boat to get my glasses. As I passed the seating area, the mate was already putting my weight pockets back in and hanging the BC on the back of my seat. Came back with my glasses and a new air tank was in position. Fifteen dives over a few months with this boat, mate and divemaster without a hitch.

After lunch we got ready for number 16. Checked my equipment, weights were in properly, velcro stuck, handles handy, etc. Put in some air and did a giant stride. Floated comfortably for a few minutes until everybody was wet and the new guy did another equipment check with the divemaster.
Then with a pull on the air dump and a full exhale everybody but me disappeared under the waves. I just bobbed like a cork. Seems I'd checked everything about the weights except whose weights I had. I swam back to the boat and got some more weights and quickly caught up with group. No current, 35 feet so I just dropped straight down and they were waiting. One of the other guys had figured it out quickly when the 12 extra pounds got him to the bottom in about 1.7 seconds.

Now I have my name on the handles. I'll probably find something else dumb to do someday, but that won't happen again.

Tom

 

[DEEP SEA]

As a United States Navy Divers, we trained with different countries on occasion. This was one of those times. The Indian Navy sent over some commandos to cross train. They were to take basic scuba. It was early in training, you know the times, clear the mask drill. This one guy would go underwater and take forever to clear his visor or mask whatever you want to call it. As soon as he surfaced the Chief in charge of training would yell at him to go down and do it again. He kept taking forever and each time the Chief would fire back again, again. Finally, after about 5 times the diver surfaced and the Chief barked AGAIN. :fury: The student sadly looked up and in his best English said, "Please Chief, I cannot drink any more water". :bonk:

This guy was pulling his face mask down past his mouth and drinking the water out of the mask to clear it!

 

[turnerjd]

Teaching neophytes to fill tanks...........

We had gone away for a w/end with some people in our club that had just finished their O/W, and were doing their first 'recreational' (rather than training) w/end. We always tried to get little extra bits in, so I was explaining how to fill tanks from the coin operated filling station.

There we were, I explained about looking at the O-ring to make sure it was sealing, took it out showed them, and it was fine, so it went back in. We then put the filling whip over the valve and did it up, coins in and away we went.
*Bang*
- the o-ring blew immediately. OK says I this sometimes happens, close all valves, take off whip, replace o-ring with one from my save a dive kit. Put whip back on again, and open valves.
*Bang*
-New o-ring blows. Hum, a bit unusual says I, valves off, fit another o-ring, and valves open again.
*Bang*
- o-ring number 3 blown, neophytes start laughing, close valves, look up at what the neophytes are laughing at

- big notice on the SIDE of the compressor that I hadn't seen saying that number 1 whip (that I had been using) was damaged and wouldn't seal.

Did I feel like a prat or what!

Jon T