Why are we so mean?

[TSandM]

I was reflecting on this the other day, after going back to check a thread where someone had put up a picture of the shiny new kit he had bought, and he got a bunch of fairly short, critical, and not very friendly responses, a number of them from people I know are "us".

I'm a pretty solidly committed DIR diver, myself, and I think there are a lot of good reasons why we use the equipment we do, and the procedures we do. I like the system, and I think everybody on this board knows that I push it (hopefully not too obnoxiously) wherever I see the opportunity to do so, here and IRL.

But my mother always taught me that you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. And i we want to try to communicate a message, it seems to me it would work far better if we were pleasant about it. What's wrong with congratulating someone on their new equipment? And if you must, making a couple of pleasant and constructive observations about long inflators or quick releases, pointing out the reasons why the person might eventually rethink his setup? He's already bought it, anyway; jumping on him about it is much more likely to elicit a defensive reaction and a dislike for "us" than to change what he's bought.

I see this over and over again. Where it comes to things which relate to true safety (like air at 200 feet) I can understand getting short, critical or even just plain unpleasant. But for the simple stuff like wearing a snorkel, having quick releases, and other things relating to recreational diving or even the beginner techie who's doing his first doubles dives, do people really think it's necessary to be so rude? I don't think it makes us any friends.

 

[DevonDiver]

1. The 'Dirk Diggler' does represent a risk to the diver, beyond a simple annoyance.
2. Several divers (myself included, but I'm not DIR, so apologies for appearing here) pointed this out to him politely and/or with humour.
3. As a potential technical diver, his mindset should accommodate constructive criticism.
4. He didn't accommodate constructive criticism.
5. Several divers (myself included) highlighted that failure for him.

If, on a course of technical diving training, a novice tech student demonstrated an 'I know better' attitude and failed to heed the advice, observations or guidance of the instructor... then that instructor shouldn't graduate them. I think the development of appropriate mindset is universal amongst training agencies, not just a DIR issue.

 

[knowone]

But Dirk Diggler actually had, a big penis

 

[lowtech]

From what I read from DIR-F class reports, sometimes it seems there is an initiation phase where your instructor critiques your rig, and attempts to make it more compliant.
I wonder if DIR folk emulate this role when viewing another diver's gear.

The programs available seem to be ridge and strict, dive these fins and breath these gases etc. and have very thoughtful reasons for doing things in said way.

Maybe this idea of structure and critique makes the DIR diver more critical of his/her environment in general, and gets projected onto other folks innately.

I think critique can be given in a nice way but more often than not it attempts to show a deficiency, thus coming across negatively.

 

[TSandM]

I think it's true that someone who is presenting for technical training is (or should be) asking for critique, and be prepared to take it.

On the other hand, someone who posts on ScubaBoard may not be looking for a critique (and I think people who post their new kit often aren't). And even if we do feel the need to critique it, nobody has hired us as instructors, and the critique or criticism, I think, ought to be as polite and cautious as one would be to stranger in person. Furthermore, I have been present during several GUE instructor critiques of gear they felt was less than optimal . . . and note my phrasing! It's "less than optimal", and they explain why they feel that way. Unless the equipment in question either violates the printed standards or is a frank safety hazard, the criticism is gentle, thoughtful, presented with the reasons why, and left to the diver himself to decide what to do with it.

I've already gotten one PM from someone thanking me for this thread, and telling me that the holier-than-thou attitude which is seen from us on this board had put them off from doing GUE training, even though they had thought about it. Maybe not everybody here WANTS people to seek out that kind of training, but if we do, are we doing the best job of helping people decide to do it?

 

[DevonDiver]

I don't think that anything untoward was said about his kit, other than a genuine commentary about the length of his LPI hose... it was his 're-buff' of the critique that changed the tone a little. That said, the tone remained light-hearted and humour-based.

You're right - he didn't specifically ask for a critique. I made the mistake of assuming he did. However, I feel it's a fair assumption to make, given that there'd otherwise be absolutely no purpose for him to start the thread otherwise.

I can't contribute to every thread on the board in the assumption that the OP doesn't want my input or advice.

This guy is going on a tech course where, (hopefully) his instructor will raise the issue of his enormous appendage. By raising the issue now, the guy has a chance to refine his equipment before going on the course. I mean... we are only talking about a $15 corrugated hose aren't we?

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I am going to the mall tomorrow. Here are my new shoes:

Purpose of posting: None.
Critique Expected: None.

-Thread Ends-

 

[LiteHedded]

square toes and rubber soles? come on man....

 

[Scott L]

Well, ever since the last vbulletin "upgrade", seldom can I retrieve my past posts, including my entry on that thread. In any event, it seems only newcomers post their entire kit for critique with expected overly harsh responses. Lesson to scuba forum newcomers, it's not a good idea.. If you think SB is harsh, visit The Deco Stop. :shocked2:

However, TSandM is correct, the SB community should be more tolerant and nice...

 

[Adobo]

Can someone send me a PM with the link to the thread Lynne is referring to?

 

[melanie.]

I've already gotten one PM from someone thanking me for this thread, and telling me that the holier-than-thou attitude which is seen from us on this board had put them off from doing GUE training, even though they had thought about it. Maybe not everybody here WANTS people to seek out that kind of training, but if we do, are we doing the best job of helping people decide to do it?

Good point. That attitude is alive and thriving on this board, but very few people see how annoying and counterproductive it becomes. I like SB, and have learned quite a bit from it. But it gets really tiring having to wade through the "my way is better then yours so get out of my club" bs. Sometimes it is ok to play nice and just accept the differences