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"Equality of opportunity or equality of outcome?
One is consistent with a free people and the other requires a police state. Pick one." ~Cool Hardware52
I, alone, am responsible for my health and safety, my actions and inactions.
"If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?" ~Sydney J. Harris
3 LITTLE PIGS
>>
>>>This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is.
>>>They think so logically.
>>>
>>>
>>>A
teacher was reading the story of the Three Little
Pigs to her class.
>>>
>>>She came to the part of
the story where first pig was trying to
gather
>>>the building materials for his home.
>>>
>>>She read.
'And so the pig went up to the man with the
wheelbarrow
>>>full of straw and said: 'Pardon me
sir, but may I have some of that
>>>straw to build
my house?'
>>>
>>>The teacher paused then asked
the class: 'And what do you think
>>>the man
said?'
>>>
>>>One little boy raised his hand and
said very matter-of-factually...
>>>
>>>'I think
the man would have said - 'I'll be a son of a
bitch!! A talking pig!'
>>>
>>>The teacher had to
leave the room.
---------- Post added at 06:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:58 AM ----------
After being married for forty-nine years a wife asked her husband to describe her.
>>
>>He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
>>
>>She asks ... "What does that mean?"
>>
>>He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.
>>
>>She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?"
>>
>>He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"
I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this morning
called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around
We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used
to enjoy together.
I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up
and rekindling a little of that "old magic".
"Wow!" I was flabbergasted.
"I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit
older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I
don't really have the energy I used to have."
She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".
"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a
few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle
tone....everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am
developing jowls like a Great Dane!"
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.
She teased me saying that tubby, grey haired, older men were cute, and >she was sure I would still be a great lover.
Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"
So I told her to f**k off.
---------- Post added April 9th, 2012 at 01:26 PM ----------
Scrabble...
Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body which is even more useful when erect.
An aspiring photographer was pondering ways to make himself famous, when he hit upon the idea of getting a picture of the ghost which was haunting a nearby old house. He packed up his equipment and went to the spooky old place, and sure enough, the haunt came out and started waving its arms about. "No, wait!" said the photographer. "I just want to get your picture. I will publish it and we will both be famous!" The ghost seemed to like the idea, and actually started posing for the camera. The photographer snapped several shots, and then hurried home to process his work. Unfortunately, all of the pictures came out underexposed and impossible to use. He was lamenting over his ruined work when his wife walked in and said "Are those the ghost pictures you were trying to get?" He replied, "No, unfortunately,-
Freedom isn't maintained by acting as you will, but maintained by acting to ensure the freedom of all
Mankind knows right from wrong. Its time we started to be accountable for the consequences of our actions as a society
NO, I WON'T CO-SIGN YOUR BULLSH*T
There █████ █ ████ is ███ █ no █████ █ ████ conspiracy █ ████ █████ █ ████ everything ███ █████ is█████ ████ ████ fine ████ ███ ██████ trust ███ ██████ ███ your █████ ████ government...
Originally Posted by JCAT
..funny, I'm a self-declared lawn expert, don't make it true though, does it?
Four guys have been to camping & scuba diving the site for years.
A few days before leaving, Frank's new wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going away that weekend. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?
Two days later, the three get up to the camping site and find Frank sitting there with a tent already set up, plenty of air tanks, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"DAM, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, Last night after you guys left, I was sitting in my Chair...pouting.......and my wife came up behind me......put her hands over my eyes and said, ‘Guess who?’
I turn around, and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie, took my hand and led me to the bedroom. There were candles and rose petals all over.
On the bed, she had some handcuffs! She told me to tie her up to the bed. Then she said,
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Originally Posted by Jax
Four Dive Buddies
