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There is a variety of dromedary which has fur that is so closely colored to the sand around it that it blends in and is very difficult to see. Some call it the invisible dromedary, but in reality it is just very well camelflaged.
Two Americans, Bob and Jeff, decide to open a bungee-jumping business in Mexico.
They set up on the square of a small village. Bob jumps, bounces at the end of the cord, and flies back up by the platform. Jeff isn't able to catch his friend, but he notices he has a few cuts and scratches.
Bob falls again, bounces, and comes back up. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, Jeff misses him. The third time it happens, Bob comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Jeff finally catches him and says, "Holy cow, what happened? Was the cord too long?"
Bob looks confused and says, "No, the cord was fine... but what the heck is a piñata?"
"Discretion is the polite word for hypocrisy." Christine Keeler
“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.” Winston Churchill
> An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared
> offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with
> patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the
> receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.
> He gave her his name.
> In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE;
> YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
> All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at
> the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud
> voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT
> I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'
---------- Post added ----------
During my physical, my doctor asked me about my daily activity level, and so
> I described a typical day this way:
> "Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight
> beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down
> several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of
> quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake and took four "leaks"
> behind big trees."
> Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors
> "No," I replied, "I'm just a ****ty golfer."
"Equality of opportunity or equality of outcome?
One is consistent with a free people and the other requires a police state. Pick one." ~Cool Hardware52
I, alone, am responsible for my health and safety, my actions and inactions.
"If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?" ~Sydney J. Harris
Jan, Sue, and Mary haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.
Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.
Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.
Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.
Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York 's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq. ft. co-op on Fifth Avenue , where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix .
Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples , Florida .
Mary explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Jim. They run a tropical bird park in Colorado and grow their own vegetables. Jim can stand six parrots, side by side, on his penis.
Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility.
Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama .
Mary admits that the sixth parrot has to stand on one leg.