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A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful
parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
'Why so little,' she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, 'Look, I should tell you first that
this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and some times it
says some pretty vulgar stuff.'
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any
way.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and
waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then
at her, and said, 'New house, new madam.'
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought
'that's really not so bad.'
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and
said, 'New house, new madam, new girls.'
The girls and the woman were a bit offended, but then began to laugh
about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been
raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.
omg ... those were gr8 ... however the dude in the Mullet .... TOTALLY hot!!!!!!!!!!
*******************
Meet Marvin, men's answer to Maxine
Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat
a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when
a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- --------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
------------------------------------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle it!
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I don't get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK but become ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. 
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