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There was a thread not to long ago asking how real the movie "Open Water" really was. You know it got me thinking. There probably are some really good reasons why some boat captains want to leave divers behind.
Ok so here is your chore..............What are your Top Ten reasons for leaving the annoying diver behind? Yes this is supposed to be funny so don't get that serious on us. You might scar us all.
Off the top of my head if they use any of the following phrases, it's a good reason to leave them behind:
1. "Well, when I was on Scubaboard..."
2. "Can you sign my logbook?"
3. "My buddy who has a provisional DIR-F, says that the DIR way is..."
4. "Here is my DM card. RESPECT MY AUTHORI-TYE!"
5. "Hi there, I'm a photographer and this is how I would like the dive to go."
6. "Hi there, I'm a photgrapher and here is my signal when I want you to do this, and here is my signal when I want you to do that and here is my signal..."
7. "Hi there, I'm a photographer and would you mind...?"
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
A conversation using any of the following would likely do it:
"Seasick huh? Glad I never get seasick...."
"Oops, my bad, was that expensive?"
"Sorry everyone, I think I just broke the head."
"You dive with one of those? Really? That (insert equipment), I thought only tech/newbie/rec/DIR guys used those." (also "Yeah, I USED to dive one of those..."
"Duuuuuude, you partake?"
And the Lord said to Matthew,"turn your gaze upon the seas, peer into the shadowy depths and behold those riches that lay beneath the folding waves". To the Lord, Matthew replied "I'm sorry, what did you say, I was texting?"
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Have fun. Dive safe.
Originally Posted by Diver Dennis
