Be a fan of ScubaBoard.com

Welcome to ScubaBoard, an online scuba diving forum community where you can join over 205,000 divers from around the world discussing all things related to Scuba Diving. To gain full access to ScubaBoard (and make this large box go away) you must register for a free account. As a registered member you will be able to:

  • Participate in over 500 dive topic forums and browse from over 5,500,000 posts.
  • Communicate privately with other divers from around the world.
  • Post your own photos or view from well over 100,000 user submitted images.
  • Gain access to our free classifieds marketplace to buy, sell and trade gear, travel and services.
  • Use the calendar to organize your events and enroll in other members' events.
All this and much more is available to you absolutely free when you register for an account, so sign up today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact the ScubaBoard Support Team.
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 24

  1. #1
    Frequent Poster


    Has not set a "status"
     

    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Farnham, Surrey, UK
    Posts
    183

    ... walks into a pub... jokes

    Shakespeare walks into a pub,
    The landlord says, "Get out - you bard!"

    A horse walks into a pub,
    The landlord says, "Why the long face?"


    Well I found them funny anyway!

    Ian

  2. #2
    ScubaBoard Enthusiast


    Has not set a "status"
     

    Stone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    We live in Valparaiso, FL and dive out of Destin, FL
    Posts
    1,193
    Dives
    500 - 999

    Another one

    Celine Dion walks into a bar,
    The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

  3. #3
    Frequent Poster


    Has not set a "status"
     

    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Marmora, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    215

    OMG..

    ....now that was funny Stone.
    Randy...

  4. #4
    ScubaBoard Contributor


    Has not set a "status"
     

    Dectek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    near Atlantic City
    Posts
    795
    Dives
    200 - 499

    I hear groaning coming from over my right shoulder.

    A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.
    Paddle Faster..... I Think I Hear Banjo Music!!!

  5. #5
    ScubaBoard Enthusiast


    is headed to Saba
     

    Tim Ingersoll's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    2,589
    Dives
    200 - 499
    Photos
    2

    Someone please finish this joke for me: A na...

    Someone please finish this joke for me: A naked lady walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and sausage under the other. She asks for three drinks. . . .
    So I got a tattoo of a turtle on my arm and a woman on the dive boat said "Oooh thats a nice tattoo. Do you like turtles?"

  6. #6
    senior member


    Has not set a "status"
     

    Welshman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Worcestershire, UK
    Posts
    725

    Tim, so what's the punchline?

    With an introduction that good you have to know the punchline so what is it?????

    Regards

  7. #7
    ScubaBoard Contributor


    Has not set a "status"
     

    nickjb's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Bristol (The original one)
    Posts
    686
    Photos
    1

    And the punchline is...Your not going t...

    And the punchline is...


    Your not going to like this...


    There isn't one.

    This is from a scene in 'The breakfast Club'

    The trivia section of the IMDB listing for "The Breakfast Club" says this:

    The joke that Bender tells but never finishes (while crawling through the ceiling) actually has no punchline. According to Judd Nelson, he ad-libbed the line. Originally, he was supposed to tell a joke that would end when he came back into the library and said, "Forgot my pencil", but no one could come up with a joke for that punchline.

    The whole quote is: "Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, 'I guess you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says-- [The ceiling gives way.] Oh ****!"

  8. #8
    senior member


    Has not set a "status"
     

    Welshman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Worcestershire, UK
    Posts
    725

    Tim

    There you are - the mystery is explained courtesy of NickJB!

    Regards

  9. #9
    ScubaBoard Enthusiast


    hasn't set a status.
     

    caymaniac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    West - Michigan
    Posts
    3,063
    Dives
    1,000 - 2,499
    Photos
    17

    Did you hear the one about........

    the guy who walks into a bar with a frog on his head?.....................................
    ,,,, the frog says to the bartender " would you believe this started out as a wart on my azs?"

    Caymaniac

  10. #10
    ScubaBoard Enthusiast


    is headed to Saba
     

    Tim Ingersoll's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    2,589
    Dives
    200 - 499
    Photos
    2

    nickjb once bubbled...

    nickjb once bubbled...
    And the punchline is...
    I know the story and have been searching for a punch line for years. I'm still hoping.
    So I got a tattoo of a turtle on my arm and a woman on the dive boat said "Oooh thats a nice tattoo. Do you like turtles?"

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Pizza Jokes...
    By ssdiver2003 in forum Humor, Games, Clips, Yarns and Tales
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: May 18th, 2009, 12:51 PM
  2. Jokes
    By diverman in forum Humor, Games, Clips, Yarns and Tales
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: May 14th, 2009, 03:01 PM
  3. Robo-leg Walks...
    By Mo2vation in forum SoCal
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: September 30th, 2004, 01:41 PM
  4. A Few More Jokes
    By fishwatcher in forum Humor, Games, Clips, Yarns and Tales
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: September 8th, 2004, 08:01 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •