Sh*t Scuba Divers Say

[DevonDiver]

All the best gems I've heard start with "My instructor told me........"

[Captain12Pk]

On a boat last week. The Captain gave instructions to the target.
"From the anchor, the wreck should be about 30 feet away at 60 degrees."

Reply from diver... "60 degrees in which direction?"

My team almost fell offf the boat we were laughing so hard.

[the wart]

We'll do our buddy check in the water

Normally followed shortly after by either:
i) Hey can you turn my air on or
ii) Can someone on the boat pass me my weightbelt?

[smellzlikefish]

Who smells like pee?

[oreocookie]

Who's up for a night dive after this?

I asked that every night when I went on a group trip to Bonaire in August... somehow I only managed to get one night dive in that week.