Dealing with over-enthusiastic parents and spectators

[El Orans]

How would you deal with a well-intentioned but, frankly, a bit annoying parent of a child taking a Junior OW course. The guy himself is an AOW diver and has his kid in the OW class I'm currently DM-ing. The problem is he wants to get a bit too involved and not just with his own kid. He's often there on the side of the pool giving 'instructions' to his kid, often contrary to what the instructors or myself are trying to teach. And he's even been known to "help" the other OW students - for instance messing up another student's weight belt.

The guy is someone I see regularly at the dive club so I don't really want to offend, but how would you go about suggesting he might find something else to do during the classes.

Your comments please?

[Doc Intrepid]

Ask for volunteers.

If he's like most folks, he will suddenly remember something that has to be done...

If he's not, have him pull all the tanks out of the tank rack, repaint it, and after its dry, re-load them all back in. Alternately, you've always wanted those rental BC's rinsed out and re-hung to dry. I'm sure you can find something to keep him occupied...

[do it easy]

$ign him up for a different cla$$ that he can take at the $ame time???

[alcina]

Signing him up for another class is a good one.

Or just be up front and say "we really appreciate your enthusiasm, but as you probably remember there are a lot of things to think about as a brand new diver doing things for the first time so we do not allow the public to interact with our students during training. You are welcome to watch from a distance, but you are not welcome to approach the students or training staff. It's very distracting and detrimental to the new students as their attention often becomes divided when other people are too close or are interacting with them. Their priority needs to attention on their training staff."

[vkalia]

Simple - have a chat with him and explain to him that YOU are the instructor, with the training and experience, and that while you appreciate his interest and enthusiasm, you would appreciate if he does not interrupt or interfere with your teaching.

Sometimes, it is simply a parent that is a jerk, but not that often. More often, it is likely that they are excited about their child learning to dive, and eager to participate/be a part of that experience. Or they are a little nervous.

I've had that happen a few times. I politely took the parent aside, told them my qualifications in detail and why I was quite well suited to teaching. I also pointed out that their extra involvement created a distraction, both for me and the students, and it interfered with the students' learning. And I firmly but nicely & clearly defined their expected conduct. After this, I've never had any problems subsequently.

Dont be antagonistic, dont draw battle lines in the sand and dont rip them a new one. Just talk calmly, nicely but firmly. And phrase it as a request, so that they can "save some face."

Vandit

[Bob Vincent]

Simple - have a chat with him and explain to him that YOU are the instructor, with the training and experience, and that while you appreciate his interest and enthusiasm, you would appreciate if he does not interrupt or interfere with your teaching.

Sometimes, it is simply a parent that is a jerk, but not that often. More often, it is likely that they are excited about their child learning to dive, and eager to participate/be a part of that experience. Or they are a little nervous.

I've had that happen a few times. I politely took the parent aside, told them my qualifications in detail and why I was quite well suited to teaching. I also pointed out that their extra involvement created a distraction, both for me and the students, and it interfered with the students' learning. And I firmly but nicely & clearly defined their expected conduct. After this, I've never had any problems subsequently.

Dont be antagonistic, dont draw battle lines in the sand and dont rip them a new one. Just talk calmly, nicely but firmly. And phrase it as a request, so that they can "save some face."

Vandit

I agree with this pretty much ... but I'm probably not that nice, in fact I know I'm not. I'd ask him to follow me to a place in private and tell him flat out I do not want him making comments to his kid are other students in the class. I have to train a certain way and he's undermining that. After his son is certified if he wants to suggest things that's fine but to go through class and pool and open water he has to perform the way he's being taught. AND from now on you'll like him to stay out of the pool during the class.

... See I told you I wasn't that nice.

[aascubagirl]

I think Vkalia and alcina hit the nail on the head w/their recommendations. A lot of parents just get caught up in the moment and they want their kid to excel and don't realize that in trying to share their knowledge, they are actually making things worse and serving as a distraction. It is definitely aggravating to say the least and I've gotten quite mad on a few occasions.

BUT, no matter how frustrating the parent is, I've always found that the 3 P's work well...patience, persistence and politeness. I patiently, politely and repeatedly inform the parent that we are doing things a certain way for training and quality assurance purposes and that we can't have them interacting with the kid/class for a number of reasons, including liability. After 1-2 friendly but firm chats, the parent has always backed off and even acknowledged that they were probably making things harder.


Try the 3 Ps and good luck!

[Standingbear56]

All the above are good ideas. Before I allow a parent to be in the pool or open water with their child who is a student of mine, I have a 1to 1 talk with them. I explain that while I respect their knowledge and eagerness to want to help, they cannot interfere with any of the training their child or other students is receiving. I explain that it is detrimental to the students, plus training standards to not allow it. If they cannot abide by those rules, then they cannot participate.
By having this private conversation with them before they participate, we all know where we stand, and it generally heads off problems.
Safe Diving,
George
PADI MSDT 33859
Prime Scuba

[BradButler01]

It can be a tough situation if you don't treat it right. As long as you're underwater, Mom/Dad can't interrupt. On the surface, I don't typically give students the time to get distracted... From the moment we hit the surface to the moment we get back down I'm talking. I've had a handful of helicopter parents actually tell me they respected me for cutting them off in front of a class and continuing my lesson. If you teach enough kids, you'll run into all sorts of crazy parent situations, and the best policy I've found for all of them (from the helicopter to the lonely widow) is a hands-off professional attitude, and a respectful lack of patience for them during class.

[jpcpat]

It doesn't have to be a tough situation; both you and the parent want what's best for the child. It's very important to recognize that encouraging and guiding children is simply good parenting. The parents are, in most ways, enormously better qualified to teach and take care of their children than I am. Frankly, I'm grateful they care enough to take the time for this. I'm family oriented, and these things really do register. For the more practical minded, These students are almost universally well prepared, and easy to work with.

In this particular situation, it's best and safest for their child, and the whole class if the students are focused on me, and parental input come either on breaks.

The first time a parent interferes with advice to (or for) their child, I'll say something along the lines of "Thank you, that's good advice, but could you please hold it for just a few minutes" Attitude is everything, here.

As soon as we have a break in class, I speak to the parents privately, Something like "You paid a ridiculous amount of money to have me train billy-bob, and I'm here to make sure he's a safe, skilled diver. I'm 100% focused on my class and their safety, and having them focused on me helps me to do that. Also, very often, I've seen two people explain the same thing in a slightly different way and whoever is learning winds up more confused than ever. What I'd ask is that you let me take him through the class type stuff and then you fill it out for him"

Asking the parents (before class starts) if they have any questions or concerns for me or if there is anything you think I should know about their child tends to minimize parental interference. It also can be very helpful. This is how I found out one student who was afraid of sharks in the pool, but thought people would laugh if she brought it up.

As a class, we inspected the pool for anything that shouldn't be there, including sharks. Took two minutes, and I could see how much it calmed this one down. I would have never know to do it, except for the parents.