Where to go for quiet, no night life, experienced divers and Nitrox?
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Key West is not quiet, and the diving is not superb. Key Largo is pretty quiet and has wonderful diving. Also kayaking, fishing, hiking, snorkeling, swimming, a few beaches and some good restaurants.
Ummmm. A liveaboard? No night life at all, all the diving you can stand, and you can visit anywhere the airfare is cheap. Nitrox is often included in the price of the charter, and liveaboard divers tend to be a bit better than your average dayboat diver. You can make bottom times as long or short as you want (within reason), and with the right cabin, you'll have the privacy you want if you want some quiet time. I'd pick the cabin with the bathtubs side by side. It is your anniversary, after all.
One more vote for Little Cayman and Little Cayman Beach Resort. I've been twice and would've been this past New Year's, but the hotel was fully booked by one large group (a family I think). I have considered staying at Paradise Villas, and I'm sure it's great, but keep in mind that if you stay there, you won't have the convenience of [all your] meals and the dive dock steps away from your room.
I think the weather in May/June would probably be good and allow you access to Bloody Bay Wall (not always possible when I go in December/January), but double-check that if you do decide to go.
As you mentioned costs, Cayman is not inexpensive to be or get to. As Brac and little cayman need connecting flights through Grand Cayman this can also add to the travel time. Never been to the other islands because of this travel time. Do highly recomend Grand cayman though. If you are looking for easy to get to no frills diving? I'd say Grand Cayman, East Side. (I prefer the added frills of SMB)
I'm not a big Nitrox fan because I don't do a lot of multiple dive. But the last time I was in GC a regular on the boat commented on the consistency of nitrox. They bank 32 and it always comes out spot on....
I'll throw a vote in for BVI. I admit, I'm biased in that I live there, but there is a reason for that! Virgin Gorda is very quiet, no direct flights, and you can walk around everywhere you want with no worries. There are some high-end villas, posh hotel (Little Dix Bay Resort) and smaller boutique properties. My company, Dive BVI, offers diving from 3 locations on the island and we do have Nitrox (membrane processed). My wife and I moved to VG back in 2003 for a year....