Getting the wife to dive - Toronto ON

[mbeerski]

I have been trying to get my wife into diving for about 3 years. She finally agreed that she will "try it". I need to find a PADI instructor in the Toronto, ON area that is really gentle, patient and likes to go slow. She gets discouraged when she is scared and she is pushed too hard. I realise that all instructors are professionals but as a Dive Master I realize there are major differences. Any recommendations for an Instructor/Dive shop in the Toronto Area?

 

[Web Monkey]

I have been trying to get my wife into diving for about 3 years. She finally agreed that she will "try it". I need to find a PADI instructor in the Toronto, ON area that is really gentle, patient and likes to go slow. She gets discouraged when she is scared and she is pushed too hard. I realise that all instructors are professionals but as a Dive Master I realize there are major differences. Any recommendations for an Instructor/Dive shop in the Toronto Area?

If she's really scared of the water, you don't want to get her certified. The last thing you want is a diver who is at the edge of panic, where any additional stress might cause a panic attack and an uncontrollled ascent or drowning.

She's apparently just doing it to make you happy, which is completely the wrong reason to dive.

Terry

 

[FreeFloat]

I would recommend getting her into Snorkelling first. No certification required, and it gets her into the water to establish the basics as well as builds confidence. Plus there's no pressure, no sense of "if I don't do this right I could die". Many many successful snorkellers go on to become successful divers once they've established that comfort zone.

 

[mossym]

excellent suggestion freefloat, if she can't get comfortable on the surface, she will never be comfortable 20 feet below

my girlfriend was the same way, no way she would try it. I got her to try the discover scuba session my local dive shop runs, where you put on all t gear in their pool and they let you it out, for free. That was in June, last month we were at a depth of 80 feet together...

 

[Mako Mark]

mbeerski

I am sure as a DM that you have evaluated your wifes motives, and the concern of some of the other posters about her feeling pressured is not a problem, so go for it, encourage her, but dont crowd her on it.

Help her find someone you both feel comfortable, but then stay out of the way as the instructor does his/her job. There is nothing worse for an instructor or a student than having an "extra" instructor getting in the way, no matter how good their motives are.

Good luck with the search tho, I have a friend from Toronto that teaches, but I think she is working in vancouver, I will send her a message and see what I can find out.

 

[Brian Gilpin]

If you can afford it take her on a warm water vacation. Much easier to learn under warm water conditions with great viz and a lot less equipment, lead, etc. No way my wife will do cold water in Monterey but she will do warm water. Do you really want her tagging along all the time anyway? That would kinda limit your profiles wouldn't it? I understand they have a great instructor in Cancun.

 

[SubMariner]

If she's really scared of the water, you don't want to get her certified. The last thing you want is a diver who is at the edge of panic, where any additional stress might cause a panic attack and an uncontrollled ascent or drowning.

She's apparently just doing it to make you happy, which is completely the wrong reason to dive.

Terry

I have to go along with Terry on this one.

As an Instructor I have a few too many women "try" scuba because they were pushed into it by their significant other. At one point I spent more hours on a woman in confined water than I did on the rest of her class combined. In the end she STILL wasn't ready to go on to Open Water because she simply didn't want to be there.

Please stop thinking like a spouse & more like a DM. Be objective when you talk to her about scuba and really LISTEN to what she says

Most importantly:DON'T PUSH! The world will not end if she doesn't want to scuba.

Meanwhile, if she really DOES want to learn, PM me and I will give you the name of a very good Instructor in the Toronto area.

 

[spectrum]

I was in a similar boat, we spent this summer snorkeling a lot including 12 "dives" up at and around Acadia National park here in Maine. Basicly bought scuba quality gear and went at it. 84s times so far for myself (since June 2) and when I tally my log I think she'll be around 50. She now thinks nothing of going out for 90 to 120 minute swims to islands and is comfortable with it all.

Meanwhile my passion to get certified only grew and this weekend when I mentioned that I was starting to think of going for it in the spring of 05 (with or without her) she said I'm going with you.... yipee! Meanwhile we had an awesome summer. My concern now is that we've been spoiled with long excusions, I guess we'll want doubles!

Pete

 

[voop]

mbeerski

I am sure as a DM that you have evaluated your wifes motives, and the concern of some of the other posters about her feeling pressured is not a problem, so go for it, encourage her, but dont crowd her on it.

Help her find someone you both feel comfortable, but then stay out of the way as the instructor does his/her job. There is nothing worse for an instructor or a student than having an "extra" instructor getting in the way, no matter how good their motives are.

Good luck with the search tho, I have a friend from Toronto that teaches, but I think she is working in vancouver, I will send her a message and see what I can find out.

I agree with cancun mark, to the point that it's futile to try to push your passion onto someone, who might go along out of "spousely loyality" or some such thing.

However reluctance to take up an activity may have many sources -- one being simply fear of the unknown, or reluctance to enter (and possibly slow down) a spouses activities.

mbeerski, I am sure that you as a DM have evaluated this in her, and that your evaluation is that she has no fundamental "issues" which would exclude her from this activity. And she's agreed to try, which is great!

My advice mirrors cancun mark's, in that you should use your training, experience and professionalism in finding an instructor for her, who you both trust and feel comfortable with -- and then let him do his job. It might be a good idea to opt for individual lessons for her, so that she has the undivided attention of the instructor -- and you can offer (to the instructor) to be in the water with her WITHOUT INTERFERING (take your DM-cap off and think of yourself as an OW diver for this purpose). You know, just as a moral backup -- but also so that she has you to share her joy with when she discovers the wonder of the underwater world. The instructor may be more willing to let you do this with individual lessons than if he has a group of divers with him. Pratice your horizontal hover, but otherwise do nothing while watching them, least you will be a distraction.

After she's tried it, I'd suggest to not push the issue much further: if she wants to join you when you go diving, that's just great -- but she's already made an effort in trying it out for your sake. If she doesn't like it, asking more of her is just unfair.

And also, I second the suggestion of a warm-water-experience/vacation -- if you're already reluctant, a dive in a murky quarry, where you're freezing your rear off and seeing only the tail of a fleeing pike, might not be fun and inspireing for future diving. Mucking around in 8m of bright blue, warm, water with plenty of critters and curious finned friends is, on the other hand, something which is attractive to almost everyone.

Let's know how it works out

 

[Gary D.]

I have been trying to get my wife into diving for about 3 years. She finally agreed that she will "try it". I need to find a PADI instructor in the Toronto, ON area that is really gentle, patient and likes to go slow. She gets discouraged when she is scared and she is pushed too hard. I realise that all instructors are professionals but as a Dive Master I realize there are major differences. Any recommendations for an Instructor/Dive shop in the Toronto Area?

Mebeeski; With all due respect.

I have said this many, many times and I’m going to say it again.
DO NOT LET PEER PRESSURE PUSH YOU INTO ANYTHING YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE DOING!!! So what in the world are you doing?

From the sounds of your post you have been trying to push her into it to fill a selfish need on your part.

It took over 20 years to get my wife to start and she is very comfortable in the water.

Like some of the other posts, take her to a warm water location and let her snorkel first. Dumping her in the deep freeze is a big mistake.


You might realize that instructors are professionals but so does an uncertified person. That’s like seeing a semi truck going down the road, they are professionals in their fields. Some good, some bad but they are professionals. So with you being a DM, can you look at the outside of that truck (instructor) and tell how good they will be with your somewhat fragile wife?

Going by the short post you submitted, I think you are trying to hard to get her diving and this could be a grave mistake. If she wants to she’ll ask.

Might even lead to a divorce if your not careful.

Gary D.