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Well...I am back home....for three days....then off to Germany to get some units trained up for deployment.
I flew out of Kansas International yesterday and what a flight. As we were boarding I checked my ticket and the seat was 4C. I am thinking, cool... I am up front so I can get out and haul butt to my connecting flight in Atlanta...and as I turned the corner getting on the plane I notice....dang the seats are big!!
Then I really notice....heck!! I have been upgraded to first class and no one told me!!! Kewl !!
As I am trying to work my way to my seat one of the female attendants is coming down the isle. She was probably no taller then 4 ft 11 in in high heels. And cute as a button I might add (and even better....in my age range!)
Any who.....I move into some seats so she can pass by as no one ...not even her ....is getting by me without a lot of touchin and smoochin". But she says no sir come on by and she only half way moves aside. So yep, there is touchin and smoochin and she says ....I'm sorry sir...like it is her fault. I tell her....heck lady....this is going to be the highlight of my day.
She moves on giggling.
My seat partner shows up and gets his butt seated and we are talking when someone in the cheap seats asks the same lady....could they have a blanket.
Well, she is so short, she has to jump up and down to see if there is a blanket in the overhead. And, I had noticed there were two blankets in my overhead when I put my computer up there. Being polite, I tell her there are two up there and would she like me to get them for her.
Oh no she says ....and....climbs up on my seat and is trying to get them. Well, when she stood up on the edge of my seat....that put her "lower personals" right in my face. There she is twisting and turning and I am trying my best to keep my nose out of her "business". My seat mate is turning red he is laughing so hard.
Then, she starts to lose balance and instinctively I start to grab for her but realize if I completed the move....I would be grabbing her posterior and would probably get thrown off the plane. Luckily she did not fall.
So time passes and about halfway through the flight the same attendant is walking through the first class area holding someones baby and getting it to calm down. She is holdin and cuddling and coooing and all that kind of stuff.
Once she gets rid of the baby she walks by and I motion her over. She comes up and I tell her I have a question for her. I would like to know, what type ticket is it that comes with cuddling, holding and cooing. She cracks up and leans over and gives me a big hug and coos and then kisses me on the cheek. DANG !!!
As she starts to walk off....I ask her does she have any little batteries. She says, Batteries?? And I say, yep, little batteries, because after all her antics she has burned out the one in my pacemaker and I need a new one. ANOTHER HUG!!!
catherine....no darlin' I did not get her number. I would have loved to, but I am with a most wonderful lady and I am not about to mess that up. And, yep, those around were watching and more than one was giggling.
"Why do animal lovers always make a bigger stink about fur than leather? It is much safer to pick fights with rich old ladies than with bikers." Thanks GypsyJim
Oh dude....there are a lot of people that would disagree with you about flying with me!!!
I have been in 3 FAA certified airplane "crashes". (all civilian planes)
I have been in a four engine job where one engine caught fire....and later fell off the wing.
I have been on a Luthansa flight over the Alps that just fell out of the sky and recovered so low that you could see facial expressions on people on the ground.
I was on an overseas flight sitting by the Emergency exit when some guy decides he has flown enough and tried to open the Exit door and leave the plane. (my knuckles are still sore over that one....guaran-dang-tee you....he didnt get past me.)
I was on an THY flight where there were say 100 seats. They booked 150 passengers.....all 150 got on and sat on the floor or where ever they could squat. And that pilot did a "tactical" landing coming into Izmir and almost ripped the landing gear off.
"Why do animal lovers always make a bigger stink about fur than leather? It is much safer to pick fights with rich old ladies than with bikers." Thanks GypsyJim
Oh dude....there are a lot of people that would disagree with you about flying with me!!!
I have been in 3 FAA certified airplane "crashes". (all civilian planes)
I have been in a four engine job where one engine caught fire....and later fell off the wing.
I have been on a Luthansa flight over the Alps that just fell out of the sky and recovered so low that you could see facial expressions on people on the ground.
I was on an overseas flight sitting by the Emergency exit when some guy decides he has flown enough and tried to open the Exit door and leave the plane. (my knuckles are still sore over that one....guaran-dang-tee you....he didnt get past me.)
I was on an THY flight where there were say 100 seats. They booked 150 passengers.....all 150 got on and sat on the floor or where ever they could squat. And that pilot did a "tactical" landing coming into Izmir and almost ripped the landing gear off.
That is just a wee bit of my flying experience.
You should be on a place with him when he tells you this.
Been there done that.
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I'm sure you made her day. 
Originally Posted by RICHinNC
