How many close friends do you have?

[Andi327]

How many close friends do you have? Real friends that you can rely on.

I ask because I have always had quite a few friends my whole life, but now I have graduated college and have chosen not to immediately get a job in the field that all of my "new" college friends have. I usually have a party every few months so we can all relax, have a good time, and catch up on things. Well, my last party was about three months after graduation. I invited about 25 people. About 7 RSVPed. and THREE SHOWED UP!!! It has been three weeks since the party and none of them have called or e-mailed to say why they didn't show up. By the way, a few even said they would bring an item that was crucial to the dinner.

 

[DivingsInMyBlood]

I can count all my really good friends on one hand. Seems like only your true friends showed and the others showed their true colours to you.

 

[Andi327]

The thing is the ones I counted on were not there. The few friends that are usually flaky are the ones that showed up. I could understand if we were still in junior high, etc, but these were women that are teachers and have families of their own. I just don't get it. With the technology we have today they couldn't just pick up the phone and say, "Sorry can't make it."

 

[almitywife]

same here... we know ALOT of people but very few close personal friends...... as i get older its harder to remember all the names so i keep all my friends online here & i can recognize them by their avatars

 

[DivingsInMyBlood]

The thing is the ones I counted on were not there. The few friends that are usually flaky are the ones that showed up. I could understand if we were still in junior high, etc, but these were women that are teachers and have families of their own. I just don't get it. With the technology we have today they couldn't just pick up the phone and say, "Sorry can't make it."

Without sounding too harsh thats what selfish people do they put themselfs first by not calling or they were all like eh if i dont go then at least everybody else will go so they wont miss me, then it snow balls from there.

 

[Andi327]

The last few weeks I've dissected every friendship I thought I had in the last year and my boyfriend and I have come to the conclusion that I carry all the weight in the "relationships". What I mean is I'm the one to call, e-mail, lend a helping hand, invite out to lunch, etc. I guess my boyfriend and dysfunctional family will have to do until a decent friend comes along.

 

[wardric]

define friend

 

[Divin'Papaw]

I think it's a very common occurance at times of significant life change. While in college you're living in close proximity and going through very similar experiences. It's common to have many friends at that point in your life. When you graduate and begin the next phase of life, peoples interests, activities and passions begin to diverge. It's simple. Life happens!

My wife and I experienced this about 10 years ago. We were both part of a large group of single folks ranging in age from 26-36. Some were single again and others never married. However, since we were all single, living in the same area, many working at the same company and sharing many similar interests, there was a group of about 10 that did alot of stuff together. Well, not surprisingly, the group started to pair off, start to date and then get married. That group resulted in at least four marriages within about 2 years time. Interesting thing is that now we do almost nothing together as a group. Everyone is busy with work, kids, their own family interests and just life in general. Occasionally we'll get together with one couple from that group or another, but everyone is just too busy and consumed to do group stuff like we used to. It's simply been a transition to a new period of life.

I think that is what you're experiencing.

 

[Sylvain]

I don't count for say my true freinds but to me a freind is someone that no matter how long you have been apart that person is just as happy to see you as you are to see them, now to me that what a freind is.

 

[MichaelBaranows]

I don't have anyone that I would call "true friends". I rely on family most of the time. My closet friends I don't talk to but a few times a month in passing. Being single most of my old friends are married so they have things they have to do most of the time.