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You may have heard about Southwests new policy to enforce the fat-people-buy-two-seats rule. This is to be forwarded to svelt-bodied friends & family only. In case you care to drop 'hints' to those people whom you know may be 'at risk' of violating their new 'fat a$$ pays twice' rule.
However, here are a few questions which SW may expect from said passengers.
1. Will my a$$ require seperate photo ID ( perhaps an A$$port) to board the plane?
2. Will there be a box at the check in counter that I have to shove my a$$ into? (Like the carry-on luggage box) To see if I have to buy a second seat.
3. Can my a$$ take advantage of "companion fares" to travel with me? (After all, we are inseparable)
4. If someone whose a$$ also requires a second seat is traveling on the same plane, can we split the cost of the second seat & just both spill into the middle?
5. Do I get double frequent flyer credit for my a$$? Or does my a$$ require a seperate frequent flyer number?
...and finally, the question SW is sure to assume a "two-seater " might ask:
6. Will I get two snacks and/or meals when I have to buy a second seat for my a$$?
on a recent six-hour flight, i sat next to a woman with linebacker shoulder. admittedly, i probably have running back shoulders. there was simply not enough air space for the two of us.
after a flight attendant rejected my tearful request for the only open seat on the plane -- in first class -- we resolved our problem in a painful way:
i spent half the flight contorting my body to the right, so that my a$$ was safely seatbelted, but my torso hung out into the aisle. (blocking the drinks cart -- gasp!)
she spent half the flight leaning forward in her seat, forehead resting on the seatback in front of her. (in one of the airline's recommended "safety positions")
american will soon be hearing from both our chiropracters!
__________________
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored -- Aldous Huxley
There are no facts, only interpretations -- Friedrich Nietzsche
What about the guy who thinks he needs to sit w/ his legs spread apart. Were talking about 2 feet of empty space from knee to knee, so his "boys" can breath. Meanwhile, you have no leg room. Never, ever take the middle seat, between 2 men.:upset:
scuberd once bubbled... when I was little I got to fly seatbelted to my little sister. Trust me, even if you could fit, you don't want to have to go through that!
not only fat a$$es but broad shoulders.....
-- we resolved our problem in a painful way:
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