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I had planned to meet some ScubaBoarders down in Laguna this morning for a day of diving. Tomorrow I am scheduled to go out to Catalina on a dive boat for another day of diving. I didn't feel at all bad leaving my family to fend-for-themselves as the boys (youngest is 16 y/o) are busy with friends and girlfriends and my husband was planning on playing golf. Well, last night I came home from work and my husband tells me that his golf plans fell through. I stayed home from diving so that we could have some time together. We went to breakfast. Now he is on a computer upstairs and hey(!) here I am downstairs on my computer. We do have plans to go to a movie later but still...I would have rather been diving.
I know that there are lots of divers with non-diving (muggles) significant others. How do you all schedule your diving days?
My wife and I stick to our own plans if we are doing thing seperate. Normally we're dive buddies but she's preggy again (some dive buddy I am eh?!) and isn't able to dive for about 10 more weeks or so... Our theory is we do things together (most things) because we are very compatible and have lots of common interests, however we also need our own time so we don't lose touch with whom we are.
DH dives, but not nearly as avidly as I do so this often comes up.
I simply go. If his plans change then he can make new ones or god forbid do the laundry If my plans change & I can't get out diving or whatever, the same thing applies.
Only if one of us has a definite plan of doing something together would I cancel my diving (or he his whatever). Just a general "we could spend time together" wouldn't alter plans...we'd spend time together afterwards.
Diving is important to me. It's my favourite Me Time. He understands, respects and, best of all, encourages that. I do not plan dives for every day, all day. Diving doesn't take away from "our" time together very often...a lot of times we will make plans to have a nice dinner (he often cooks while I am out) or go out for a drink or a beach walk or watch the sunset or rent a movie for when one of us gets back from our adventure. This works really well - neither feels like we have to be glued at the hip nor responsible for the other's entertainment...but it's very nice to "date"
He is really good about never saying anything about how often I dive. I guess it is just me making myself feel guilty. I have been diving almost every weekend for a couple of weeks now. We've been married for quite a while so I guess if he doesn't complain, I should sweat it!
Underwater SoCal. There's no place I'd rather be :)
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Originally Posted by Ann Marie
He is really good about never saying anything about how often I dive. I guess it is just me making myself feel guilty. I have been diving almost every weekend for a couple of weeks now. We've been married for quite a while so I guess if he doesn't complain, I should sweat it!
I remember the same tiny voice of guilt last November because summer diving in So. Cal is just so irresistible! I haven't missed a weekend diving in about 2 1/2 months. Part of the motivation is the intense memory of the 48 degree water at Santa Cruz Island last January....Dive like crazy now!
I also plan my boat dives on Saturday when my husband is working. I'm slightly (hahahaha) susceptible to resentment so I know not to cancel a dive if I really want to go diving. Nothing can make up for missed bottom time!! Sundays I try to dive early and be showered and ready to do terrestial activities by early afternoon.
When all else fails...bribery! My sweet husband of 16 years now has 4 guitars because I keep re-affirming how important it is to do good things that make you happy...gotta walk the talk!
"...Of course, this assumes you know the true performance of your scooter! Finding out the real speeds and range was the reason we started the Tahoe Benchmark. We initially relied on manufacturer supplied numbers and usually ended up swimming back." --fdog.
"guess it is just me making myself feel guilty."
oh boy do I know your pain- mine only occasionaly complains when I am planning to dive and he has to work- but it is my personal guilt that often holds me back. I have similar situations and have to remind myself of the last weekend I spent cleanign the apartment whilst he was on the computer- then the guilt subsides a little.
It does get me that the occasional comment is made about my dive "obsession" and how I have more logged dives than him- then I remind him that I don't complain when he does his sports/hobbies.
its never eaasy, but don;t let your guilt ruin your sport.
happy dives
I had planned to meet some ScubaBoarders down in Laguna this morning for a day of diving. Tomorrow I am scheduled to go out to Catalina on a dive boat for another day of diving. I didn't feel at all bad leaving my family to fend-for-themselves as the boys (youngest is 16 y/o) are busy with friends and girlfriends and my husband was planning on playing golf. Well, last night I came home from work and my husband tells me that his golf plans fell through. I stayed home from diving so that we could have some time together. We went to breakfast. Now he is on a computer upstairs and hey(!) here I am downstairs on my computer. We do have plans to go to a movie later but still...I would have rather been diving.
I know that there are lots of divers with non-diving (muggles) significant others. How do you all schedule your diving days?
I just read this post to my wife. She said 'where do you vacation usually, I want to take up golfing'
Diving makes me really relaxed, so my wify knows it's best to let me dive. There really is no answer to this question, it's something the two of you have to work out. Seems to me you guys are doing a great job. The Catalina weekend was great, since he played golf and you dove. I believe the longer you are married, the less this becomes an issue........... eventually you will sleep in seperate rooms, go on seperate vacations, and do everything you can to keep the marriage together.
I just hope your husband was not watching porn while upstairs on his computer. You have got to do the diving together. No way to convince him to join you? ...Or is this your way of busting out? Our vow "of till dealth do us Part" sould extend to below the waves. I could not go diving anywhere without my buddy!
What is your husband's handicap? He could not go as a single?
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If my plans change & I can't get out diving or whatever, the same thing applies.
Originally Posted by Ann Marie
That is hysterical, Ann Marie! Muggle SO's = non diving
