Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here

[micklock]

HER DIARY

Tonight, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet
at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping all day long, so I thought he was
upset at the fact that I was a bit late but he made no comment. Conversation
wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.
He agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault
that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled & kept
driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say I love
you too. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted
nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed
distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and
to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt
that he was distracted & his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep -
I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with
someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY

I shot the worst round of golf in my life today, but at least I got laid.

 

[Abidon]

Marriage proposal prank played on a "friend".

YouTube - Prank War 6

 

[Hockeynut]

Marriage proposal prank played on a "friend".

YouTube - Prank War 6

I friggin peed my pants!!!!

 

[mlkco]

That's Great the same guys did the awkward rap on the same page also very funny

 

[Deefstes]

OH... MY... GOODNESS!!!! That is seriously mean. I just soiled myself laughing but I can't help feeling so sorry for the poor bloke. He's got some patching up to do.

 

[Rhone Man]

Pinocchio is having a bit of a problem with his new girlfriend, and so he goes to see his old master, Geppetto. “Geppetto,” he explains, “because I am a wooden boy, my girlfriend complains that when we make love, I give her splinters.” Geppetto, being a master carpenter, had the answer: “Pinocchio, it is very simple,” he explains. “Just get some 220 sandpaper, and sand the rough edges off your, er, off the relevant part, and your girlfriend will be fine.” Thanking his old master, Pinocchio rushes off to the nearest hardware store.

Two weeks later Geppetto sees Pinocchio standing in the queue down at the hardware store. “So,” he greets him, “how are things going with your girlfriend, Pinocchio?” Pinocchio turns around and flashes a wicked grin at him. “Who needs a girlfriend?”

 

[mike_s]

Pinocchio is having a bit of a problem with his new girlfriend, and so he goes to see his old master, Geppetto. “Geppetto,” he explains, “because I am a wooden boy, my girlfriend complains that when we make love, I give her splinters.” Geppetto, being a master carpenter, had the answer: “Pinocchio, it is very simple,” he explains. “Just get some 220 sandpaper, and sand the rough edges off your, er, off the relevant part, and your girlfriend will be fine.” Thanking his old master, Pinocchio rushes off to the nearest hardware store.

Two weeks later Geppetto sees Pinocchio standing in the queue down at the hardware store. “So,” he greets him, “how are things going with your girlfriend, Pinocchio?” Pinocchio turns around and flashes a wicked grin at him. “Who needs a girlfriend?”

I wonder how long before Pinocchio goes for the "rough stuff". you know... 50 Grit.

 

[ohmdiver]

What happens when he has the same anatomy as "Ken"?

 

[sandshaker]

= - ) omg this is sooooooooooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guts and Balls - The Medical Distinction

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next.'

Medically speaking, there is no difference. Both result in death.

 

[Hockeynut]

Now that Michael Phelps is an Olympian athlete of unheard proportions, let's take a close look at the efforts behind the man and how his daily training compares with the routines and actions of all our other favorite present-day sports stars.



Breakfast

Michael Phelpsin correlation with 8,000-10,000 calorie per day diet) 3 sandwiches of fried eggs, cheese, lettuce, tomato, fried onions and mayo, 1 omelet, abowl of grits, 3 slices of french toast, and some chocolate chip pancakes.

Mike Tyson: Smoked sausage, cooked ham, protein shake, dreams of others, small children

Michael Vick: Bread, water, a freshly tossed salad