refusing an instabuddy

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The OP is a case in point--no doubt he will make a fine instabuddy for someone. If I were him, it would be the possibility of being rejected by someone as an instabuddy simply because I'm a novice that would concern me more than the possibility of having to reject someone else.
 
And speaking of underwater: how often do you check in with your buddy, to flash the OK sign or check how much air you each have?
Air check for an insta buddy added to our dive pair is at least every 5 minutes. More frequent at the start of the dive. The only times we have had a third is on live aboards when someone's normal buddy wants to sit out a dive. The DMs then attempt to match the stray with a compatible pair. Since we are slow shallow divers, we often get asked to take on divers who have air consumption issues. We pre plan with them to return them to the boat with sufficient air and verify they exit the water. We then continue our dive as a pair. Checking their air often allows us to liesurely move shallower if required and makes sure we will have them back to the boat with no stress on anyone. Checking air often with the insta buddy means there are no OOA surprises.

When I dive with my regular dive buddy, then an air check is done at least very 5 minutes. Checking air often with my buddy means there are no OOA surprises.
 
Let's go through a couple of these and see how they compare with how I feel.
* "Oh please dear boat crew, don't pair me with the guy that has the alert horn or the tank banger." Doesn't bother me in the slightest.
* Same with snorkels. I don't use one while diving, but some of the best and most experienced divers I know insist upon it, so it doesn't impact me one way or the other.
* Same if all of their gear is from the same manufacturer. My personal best red flag. I guess you would be running from me, since almost all of my gear comes from one manufacturer. That manufacturer wants me to be seen in their gear, so they give me really good pricing on it.
* I lose all interest in my new insta-buddy when they want to do the BWRAF check. I guess you would be running from me. It won't be exactly BWRAF, but I will definitely want to do a buddy check before we go in the water. I really like it when a new buddy suggests it.
* Old gear. Awesome, I want that diver. The dive shop where I work runs an annual sale that includes their old rental gear and old stuff traded in on new stuff by customers. A lot of new divers looking to get gear on the cheap take advantage.
* If they are hyper on the deck they will be hyper underwater. I don't know how you define it, but I have never seen it as I define it.
* I never get the good looking one. (I am certain they say that about me too.) Doesn't mean a thing to me.
* If they confess to being a new diver. Not usually a bad experience. I enjoy diving with a new diver who has the proper attitude and is willing to learn.
* If in the first five minutes I get their dive resume, usually a bad experience. Seen it both ways.
* Tattooed divers are good divers. Never noticed this.
* Tip the crew hard early in the trip and you will get a better insta-buddy. You tip the crew at the beginning of the trip before buddies are even assigned? I've never seen anyone do that before.
* Watch out when you are the third wheel with a couple. Especially if they are newly in a relationship. Someone is usually trying to impress someone else and you will be resented if you have any skill at all. Done this a lot--never seen what you describe.
* Beware of dive operations who take this stuff too seriously. Usually means a nanny state. Too seriously? Nanny state?
In summary, different people have different attitudes. You have yours. Mine is quite different.
 
I'd say my attitude is similar to your's John.

Peter Guy had the best comment in this whole thread...nobody thinks of them self as the the "instabuddy".
 
Let's say that you and I go on a regular old single tank, open circuit dive. If you run out of gas, the idea is that I have enough in my tank left for you and I to share so that we can surface together. If you lose me and drain your tank you'd be in the same situation as this fellow was. But that's the assumption that all buddy pairs make entering the water.

The advantage to having a CCR diver as a buddy is that we are fully redundant with open circuit gas to bail out to that we only plan to breathe if (and only if) the rebreather becomes compromised for some reason. So in the case of this dive, I was carrying 40 cubic feet of EAN32. For the dive we were on (and frankly for much more aggressive and/or longer dives) 40 cubic feet is enough gas for me to get back to one of the four uplines and surface.

Odds are that I complete my dive on the loop and that 40 cubic feet never gets used. This is why it's so advantageous for an open circuit diver; we don't need to share - you can just have my extra gas while I complete my dive as planned. As soon as you have an issue the dive is over and we're on our way out of the water anyway.

I agree that he brought insufficient gas on the dive and then compounded things further by not properly monitoring his gauges during the early portion of the dive. That's what makes for a bad instabuddy :)


OK, now I get it. That makes sense. It's just funny that you carry that much extra air when chances are you won't need it and open circuit divers rarely carry that much extra.

Thank you for that explanation. That's one of the things I love most about diving. There's always something new to learn.

---------- Post added July 3rd, 2014 at 08:17 PM ----------

Speak for yourselves. In my experience, novice divers, although their dives will be short, can be some of the best buddies. To begin with, they are willing to discuss a dive plan and do a buddy check. In the water, they generally want to stay close to their buddy, and they are so thrilled with everything they see that it spills over in my dive, and makes me remember the joy of common animals.

The novice diver with very poor buoyancy control or a complete lack of ability to stay out of the silty bottom is a bit of a "working" dive, rather than a fun one. But many novice divers have reasonable basic skills and are very rewarding to dive with.

I think it's EXTREMELY important that new divers here on SB do not come away with the idea that they are universally viewed as undesirable buddies. They feel sheepish enough on a dive trip.

I agree with this for the most part. I really like diving with novice divers, but I insist that they lead. Too many times have I looked back for my buddy for them to be gone and found on the surface for one reason or another.

I don't mind if they tell me they need to surface for whatever reason, just don't leave me to search for you. Other then that, I agree with you 100%. I think the dislike by some for instabuddies maybe be due to that person relying on their buddy too much. I don't like to rely on other people no matter their experience.
 
I think it's EXTREMELY important that new divers here on SB do not come away with the idea that they are universally viewed as undesirable buddies. They feel sheepish enough on a dive trip.

Thank you for saying this!

I'm that new guy, my only dives are my qualification dives so I really need to dive more (next weekend, yay!), but there's the catch 22 of being the new guy who needs to learn and gain experience and the nervousness of screwing somebody else's dive up because of my inexperience!

I'll just have to be my usual self; humble, willing to learn and non-confrontational! :)
 
Speak for yourselves. In my experience, novice divers, although their dives will be short, can be some of the best buddies.

Don't misunderstand TS&M... My concern was over the attitude, not the fact that the OP is a new diver. As a retired Instructor, I love diving with new divers for all of the reasons you mentioned. I've spent the past two years mentoring a new diver and she has become an awesome diver, if not a little overly confident.

I am involved with a "club" (really a FB group of keen divers) that is filled with really enthusiastic, and very capable newish divers. While I still prefer to dive with just a close friend or two, the odd weekend that I dive with this gang is always a lot of fun.

So agreed... We old farts need to welcome the newbies with open arms. I know from experience, that spending time with a newer diver not only benefits them, but "us" as well. The constant stream of questions causes us to rethink, and reevaluate how we do some things. And their enthusiasm can be downright infectious and reminds us of just how much we love this ridiculous pastime too! :)
 
* "Oh please dear boat crew, don't pair me with the guy that has the alert horn or the tank banger." Annoying yes, but you can always just ask that they don't use it on the dive...
* Same with snorkels. Some people dive with a snorkel. Some people (including myself) don't.
* Same if all of their gear is from the same manufacturer. My personal best red flag. Why is that a bad thing? Okay, I have kit from various manufacturers, but big deal if they have stuff from the same one.
* I lose all interest in my new insta-buddy when they want to do the BWRAF check. Why? I may not do a BWRAF, BAR, or GUE-EDGE (depending on who I'm diving with), but I always do some sort of buddy check. Even if it's just a quick, silent check of each other's kit. It's stupid not to do one in my opinion.
* Old gear. Awesome, I want that diver. I know plenty of divers with old kit I wouldn't do a 6m dive with in a local muddy puddle. Kit does not make the diver.
* If they are hyper on the deck they will be hyper underwater. Wrong! I'm quite a hyper person (I drink a lot of caffeine, sue me), but underwater I'm one of the most chilled out people I know. Being in the water relaxes me and shuts off the constant sh*t running through my brain. I can't sit still out of the water and need to constantly be moving and doing something.

* If they confess to being a new diver. Not usually a bad experience. I concur. I've been diving with some great new divers. I had a blast over the weekend doing a couple of dives with a new diver from my club, just bimbling about a local quarry.
* If in the first five minutes I get their dive resume, usually a bad experience. Not necessarily. In the off chance I'm diving with a random, I want to know what they've done.
* Cruise ship diver. "Danger, Will Robinson!!!!" It depends...
* Tattooed divers are good divers. Ummm....?
* Tip the crew hard early in the trip and you will get a better insta-buddy. I abhor tipping. I'm becoming more European by the second. I'm paying for a service, why should I have to tip in addition to it?
* Beware of dive operations who take this stuff too seriously. Usually means a nanny state. That's why I love diving in the UK. I book onto a boat with my mate. If for any reason he/she calls the dive at the surface, I can continue my dive solo if I so chose. No one cares. They are a shuttle to and from the dive site. You write your emergency contact info, tank size, gas, and planned bottom time on a sheet and off you go.
* There is no substitute for personal responsibility. THIS

Filled in my own answers
 
I never use my Instructor card when I'm on vacation since I'm afraid I'll be targetted to be "that guy's" buddy!
In my experience, not showing your instructor card is the best way to be targeted as "That guy's buddy."

I have shown a professional card for more than a decade now, totaling I don't know how many hundreds of dives. I have never once been asked to buddy with someone because my supposed superior skills would help a person who is a beginner. It is just the opposite, in fact. Dive operators in general want their customers to have a good time and come back. They want to be recommended to others by those customers. Getting an instructor angry is not a good way to build a client base. Knowing that, every dive operator I have ever used has been especially courteous to me. When they divide groups by ability, I go in the most capable group. I go on the boat going to the best sites. I get into very interesting collegial chats with the other professionals on board. I sometimes even get discounts, although I neither expect nor ask for them.

Here is an example of such an experience:

I checked in with a large operation in Kona, Hawai'i. When I got to the boat, I saw there were more than 20 divers. We were divided into 3 groups, all of whom then huddled with their respective DMs. A representative of the shop was in our group. He pointed to our DM and said this guy was a trainee, and he was mostly learning the sites. The least experienced dive in our group had more dives than the DM trainee, so the assumption was that we could be trusted to be primarily on our own while staying more or less together. The other 2 groups, we were told, were just OW divers. They would be doing a shallow reef dive while we went off a little ways to a more advanced and more interesting site. It was a great dive.

I wonder if there were any instructors who had only shown their OW cards in the other 2 groups, diving with all the other OW divers on the shallow reef while feeling smugly satisfied about having hidden their true level of certification from the crew.
 
I don't think it's really a big deal. If you travel alone, you are going to get instabuddies. Just discuss your plans before entering the water. How long will you stay down, what depth are you comfortable with, what will you do when one of you reaches 1000 psi (ow whatever your number is). If you can't agree on that when dry, then get a different buddy before hitting the water.

You said you're just getting certified - so you may be that "bad instabuddy" by your definition. But you'll find a lot of experienced divers will give you the patience and friendship you need to become experienced on your own, and then it will be your turn to do in kind to the next generation of divers.

If I had an instabuddy enter a wreck while with me, I'd be making my tank with a knife or clip and yelling at him to get his attention and shaking my head, and crossing my hands. But if I was on a wreck dive, I'd make sure our pre-dive discussion included "no penetration." If his (or her) intentions were different, I'd tell him we'd be better off to get different dive buddies, because I'm not going in.

I was once on a Caribbean wreck, and a buddy I met a few days earlier and had already done 5 dives with wanted to take photos on the deck of the ship - at around 90 feet. I told him I would stay at 60 feet, keep him in my sight the entire time, and be 20 seconds away in case of an emergency. We did our dive, he got his pictures, and we had a great time. Good pre-dive communication on the surface is the solution to most problems.

I've had insta-buddies that I wouldn't care if I ever met again, and buddies that I really liked, but the whole point of going diving is to have a good time. But I've never had a bad dive just because the person I was with had different interests or skills then me. I'll take a bad instabuddy over a good day at work - anytime!
 
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