Wife is sometimes a bad buddy

[BabyDuck]

Stop dragging a diver into environments she is not comfortable in. I can totally relate to her feeling claustrophobic in certain diving environments. I get that way in overhead environments and trust me-the feeling absolutely sucks. It is by far the worst feeling I have ever experienced in my life. Solution? I stay the heck away from overhead and do other dives. I'm actually thinking of taking a cavern course to try and get over this, as I know it's just in my head, but for now it's simply not worth the stress. I just make sure to avoid dives with overhead. I don't know where you live, but I have a feeling if you looked hard enough, you would find some dives she would be comfrotable with that are within reasonable distance from your home and would be affordable to do at least a few times a year and maybe even more often. Update your profile to include where you live and I bet SB members can point out dive sites for you that you were not even aware of. Whatever you decide to do, stop dragging a diver into environments she is not comfortable in...

hon, go back and read the whole thread. the issue is 4 years old now, he was just giving a relationship update.

 

[NJ to FLA]

Wow. Thanks for updating! That was a tough thread to read but the ending was bittersweet. I am sure it was not fun for you NOR HER to go through. But, you now have a new, refreshing buddy that you will no doubt have much more fun with. I hope the kids get into diving but have you learned that if they don't like it don't push 'em! ? lol. Congrats on the DM! Glad this did not discourage you from pursuing your diving dreams . Good luck in future diving and good luck with the new ladyyyy.

 

[I Dive]

hon, go back and read the whole thread. the issue is 4 years old now, he was just giving a relationship update.

Yep, I should have checked the dates. I hate these threads that come back to life years after the last timely post. Usually I catch the dates but I didn't on this one.

 

[waynne fowler]

Here is the question: I want to still dive the lakes and mines. I think it is fun. Is it safe for her to only ocean dive every year or two and take a pool refresher before trips, or should she stop diving if she is gonna refuse to dive the lakes?

Thanks,

Don

huh? I think you already know the answer to this question. And to be fair I think it's a bit selfish of you to even assume that if she won't dive with you in the lakes in low viz that she's somehow unfit to dive.
If someone doesn't like to drive at night, should they then not be able to drive in the daylight on clear roads with little traffic? I commend her for knowing her limits and expressing her discomfort. And big kudos for her attempts to overcome them. And she's probably doing that for you rather than herself. I'm guessing here.

maybe rather than have her 'move up next to you' you should 'step back next to her'. If she move's back again, so do you. Demonstrate good buddy procedures and perhaps she'll get it. Demanding may not work as some people don't learn that way, some people just gotta see it and feel what it's like before it all clicks.

 

[waynne fowler]

hon, go back and read the whole thread. the issue is 4 years old now, he was just giving a relationship update.

Oh!.... so just shoot me! Ima :mooner:

 

[Avonthediver]

HOl^y Crap this is an old thread!!! LOL!

 

[mrobinson]

Sorry to hear your marriage didn't work out but awesome you have a new dive buddy that dives cold!

Cheers!

Michelle

 

[AbyssalPlains]

So, I have figured out I am NOT gonna fix her low vis diving problem. She is uncomfortable and she bugs the crap out of me surfacing because she is uncomfortable. She says she feels claustraphobic in the low vis.

That is perfectly acceptable.


[/QUOTE]
Is it safe for her to only ocean dive every year or two and take a pool refresher before trips,
[/QUOTE]

Absolutely this is fine. This is how 99 percent of the world's divers population dives.

[/QUOTE]
or should she stop diving if she is gonna refuse to dive the lakes?
[/QUOTE]

Dude, I apologize if I come across as harsh, but shouldn't that decision be up to her? It sounds like she enjoys diving a lot, as long as it's in the ocean and in good viz. Ask the majority of female divers and you will get the same answer. Why are you so insistent on her doing the exact same kind of diving you do? Relax, buddy, and back off.

 

[chesch]

Have you tried keeping a 6' rope between the two of you? This way, you can follow each other and always be within 6' of each other at any point in the profile.

This is something that we occasionally have to do in the Jersey shore dives (or if we don't have that, we hold hands the whole dive)

 

[DivingCRNA]

Have you tried keeping a 6' rope between the two of you? This way, you can follow each other and always be within 6' of each other at any point in the profile.

This is something that we occasionally have to do in the Jersey shore dives (or if we don't have that, we hold hands the whole dive)

We are getting divorced. I would shoot myself before putting a 6 foot rope between us.