Advice to New Diver

[AquaBob]

I am an easy-going do it yourself kind of guy.

I like swimming and watching fish. Id love to scuba dive but the equipment and corses are so darn expensive.

Can't this be done more cheap? I took some heavy garden hose and duck taped it to a beach ball and put the other end in my mouth. I put on a fany pak full of steel pieces and walked into the pond in my yard and it worked great. I tried making a mask but it leaked real bad and foged up.

Has anyone else tried this? My garden hose starts to get pinched if I go too deep. What kind of garden hose would work for going deeper? Would workboots with weightlifting weights (York) tied to them keep my feet from floating up?

Awww... c'mon.... I cant' believe this has gone this far without someone saying it.



STROKE


Duct (not duck) tape is Silver and a directly violation of Rule 6. The only acceptable tape would be black electrical tape. There may be other black alternatives, but as they haven't been proven to successfully to tape shut the mouth of GI3, they can't be recommended and are likely a failure point so.... 'yer gonna die'.

Obviously, the only type of hose that you can use for going any deeper than the bottom of your fish pond is all black rubber with delrin fittings and little blue 'H's on it. (Available from Extreme Exposure)

As for using workboots -- yeah go ahead -- as long as you call DUI Rockboots workboots. Any other type of boot is an unnecessary failure point so ... 'yer gonna die'.

 

[Papa_Bear]

See I knew they come out of the wood work with all the "Your gona die" crap! Well we are all gona die! so life must be a failure! Since no one gets out alive! As far as tap Black tap can't go 1000 mph like the silver stuff! See, they just come after you, next they will telling you there is a NAUI rule against Pink! :shocked2:

For GD sake git off his back!

65 posts and he thinks he knows it all! Jeeze!

Hey do they call you that because you have no arms or legs?

 

[AquaBob]

See I knew they come out of the wood work with all the "Your gona die" crap! Well we are all gona die! so life must be a failure! Since no one gets out alive! As far as tap Black tap can't go 1000 mph like the silver stuff! See, they just come after you, next they will telling you there is a NAUI rule against Pink! :shocked2:


For GD sake git off his back!

65 posts and he thinks he knows it all! Jeeze!

Hey do they call you that because you have no arms or legs?

hmmm.... I think one of us must be suffering from an irony deficiency.


Just in case you missed it... lemme explain the obvious parody of a typical DIR response...

Para 1: Set up the reader to expect something obvious.

Para 2: Set the tone by hurling an insult.

Para 3: Mention Rule 6 (Always look cool -- i.e. all gear must be black). Mention George Irvine III, but suggest that he should really have his mouth taped shut. Spout the obvious tag line.

Para 4: Mention Black again and make reference to using Delrin for fittings. The DIR crowd loves to have gear machined out of solid Delrin -- kinda like mentioning aluminum billet to the automotive crowd. Also reference the little blue 'Halcyon' trademarks that adorn the harness of a popular DIR sanctioned backplate.

Para 5: Hurl another insult and suggest that the only manufacturer of exposure protection that should be considered is DUI and re-iterate the obvious tag line.


Whew.... now that I look at it, and have had to explain it ... it really wasn't that funny or clever at all --- least not as clever as smileys , spelling missteaks, or fart jokes. -- OK this was the closes smiley that I could find to 'Pull my finger'.


66 posts and counting.
Although at the current ratio of your 18 posts to my 2, I'll never ketchup.
(Hey... your right... spelling mistakes are funny!):worship:

 

[Papa_Bear]

Look where all this got us! The Mods don't even take us serious! We have been moved to Humor! I don't see the Humor in that! We were trying to help a new diver! Good god! Lets just be a bunch of DIRs and Know it alls and call people names! Then we can be taken serious! :mooner:

 

[want2div]

To all those who responded, many thanks - you are all great! It was a slow day in the office and I was tired of defacing photos of our CEO. Although deserving of defacing, he was becoming boring of late.

Damn, that was fun. I hope to solicit your advice and draw upon your collective wisdom in the near future, perhaps when pondering the best means to, say, neuter my dog on the cheap. Hey, if it works out I might even go into a side business.

 

[want2div]

FYI, DIR guys, I just got a DUI drysuit - sweet. I did opt for grey piping and red on the shoulder, so I won't be diving with hard-core types.

Want to know what is funny (and true)? My dive buddy got the same suit, only in the black with black and black option. He also got some drygloves mounted with DC rings. Problem - the only color or dry gloves in stock were Smurf blue! Man, nothing looks as bad as black, black, black, and pappa Smurf...

 

[Papa_Bear]

Pipe down they could have been pink! There is always duct tape!