Knowing when to call a dive

[msg]

This past weekend my daughter and I went diving. The first day went fairly well, just a few minor issues that were worked out easily. Day two, wasn't as good.

On the second day, we got geared up, entered the water, ready to swim to the float.
The hooded vest seemed to be too tight on her neck and she felt as if she was being choked. She removed her BCD, exited the water, took off the hooded vest, and used a cold water hood, instead. Everything seemed fine, so we went to the float. Once at the float, she began to get over exerted, her words. We tried to relax at the float, but she couldn't seem to get steady in the water, she felt that the BCD wasn't fitting her properly, and became really frustrated. I asked several times if she was ok, to which she replied "yes". I told her to take her time, relax, and we would dive when she was ok. She said that she was ready, so I descend to the platform, moved out of the way so that she had room, and waited. After about 3min, she still had not made her descent. I went up to check on her and she wasn't feeling comfortable. I asked if she was ok, but still she responded "yes". I asked if she would like to dive or call the dive. She was nearly in tears, and said that she would like to dive later.

As we were swimming back to shore, she became more upset or disappointed that we weren't diving. She thought that I was upset that I wasn't going to dive. She was trying to make me happy, by diving, even though she wasn't feeling up to the dive.

I could not have been more proud of her calling the dive, knowing she wasn't feeling up to the dive. I told her just how proud of her I was, by not pushing the envelope and diving just to suit her dive partner. At twelve years old, I thought she showed great judgment. Really at any age, it is better to call a dive if things don't seem right, than to risk a dive, and have major problems.
Great job to her.

 

[underwasser bolt]

always better to call a dive than to make a dive if there is ANY doubt. Good job young lady!

 

[a22shady]

I think I you did the complete right thing. And there was a lot going on for whatever reason and most likely calling the dive was a very good idea. Usually anyone thing when we dive and were out of the water. Diving in it's own right has enough risks without me chancing anything. and usually one there is one thing wrong it tends to snowball like everythiong else and can be a dangerous or just plain miserable dive.

 

[pir8]

Anyone can call any dive at any time for any reason, with no consequence!!!

 

[Dsix36]

Anyone call call a dive, at any time, for any reason!!!!!

These are words to live by - literally.

 

[Jax]

Good for her.

For you, Dad, a wise SBer said, "I watch for new divers that have "equipment problems". It usually means they are not comfortable and should perhaps call the dive."

 

[msg]

I completely agree. She needed reassurance, I think. She didn't want to upset dad, which I was not! We had a long talk about it on the way home, hopefully she will continue to make good choices. Yes, I am certainly proud of her.

 

[adurso]

My daughter has been diving since she was ten, she has always been encouraged to call a dive for any reason.

She has more dives, in more conditions than most.

Last week we were entering the water in Venice FL, zero wind, zero surf, a beautiful day; and she stopped and said "nope, not feeling it today".

I have always encouraged her, and anyone else, to call a dive any time for any reason.

If someone feels uncomfortable about calling a dive, I share something that John Chatterton once told me, he said that he had called many dives, he had days that he looked at the water and said "nope" and went home.

 

[knowone]

You descended and left your daughter at the surface. You waited for three minutes.
Are you kidding.

Have a diving professional asess both your equipment and skills.

Diving is not about feelings or family bonding.

It was your reponsibility to call the dive.

 

[TSandM]

I think it's great that you have a good enough relationship with your 12 year old daughter, that she felt comfortable (at least somewhat) calling a dive she didn't want to do. Kudos to her, and kudos to you for being supportive of that decision. I hope (and it wasn't clear from the OP) that she's been diving a bit, and that this experience doesn't represent an underlying anxiety or lack of desire to dive. I always worry about that with classes.

But, as harshly as knowone put it, I do think the decision to descend and wait for your daughter is one you should revisit. Descents are one of the times when people DO have problems -- they discover equipment that's malfunctioning, they have equalization problems and get vertigo, or any number of issues. Having a dive buddy nearby can be very comforting and useful, especially if the viz is low. In my opinion, descents and ascents are the times that buddies should stay the closest together, because the situation is much more dynamic than during the touring portion of the dive.