New Southern California Dive law...wow

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mattsd

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Dive Buddy of mine sent me this...little info for those of you who dive in Orang County!:rofl3:

Taken from The Surface Swim

Marine protection act aims to keep ugly people out of the water

LAGUNA BEACH, CA – Orange County has passed a new Marine Life Protection Act scheduled to take effect January 1, 2011. The Southern California County already has several policies in place to protect divers and marine life, including issuing fines to divers who dive without a buddy, or do not have the proper safety equipment, such as snorkels, with them. This newest measure is designed to protect all aquatic life in County waters.
The “Marine Life Protection Act,” or “Amanda’s Law,” will only allow divers who pass a facial attractiveness test the permission to dive in Orange County. Those who are classified as “pretty f-----’ ugly” will not be allowed in the water, out of fear that they will scare the fish away.
Extensive research shows that fish and marine mammals are extremely responsive to human physical beauty.

“The Ocean is one of our greatest resources; we can’t have our marine life traumatized by seeing a diver who has a face that resembles a sea urchin’s anus,” said Lifeguard Lt. Rodger Murdock. “Someone who took a nose dive off the ugly tree and hit every single branch is not something we want a Juvenile Garibaldi exposed to.”
Although the changes are not scheduled to take effect for over a month, local divers are already lining up to have their physical beauty evaluated, and to receive their county issued dive permits. They will be issuing three levels of permits, each with their own restrictions and limitations.

Level One, or “Hotties,” will be issued a green colored card, and are encouraged to dive as much as possible in as many dive sites as they can in order to attract fish. They are given priority parking and free air-fills at any shop. Those in this category are required to “make themselves presentable” before diving.

Level Two, or “Kind-ofs,“ are issued a yellow colored card, and can are permitted to dive in barren locations, or in dive sites where marine life does not have eyes, and therefore can not be offended by the divers’ unsightly features. They are restricted from night diving, because as one official put it, “that s---’s scary in the dark.”

Level Three, or “Gorilla Cookies”, is the classification for divers with a face that resembles one of the creatures from District 9. They are issued a red colored card and a paper bag, the latter of which must be worn when within one mile of the ocean or saltwater aquarium. They are restricted from entering the ocean. However, they are allowed to dive in any chlorinated pool, but will be charged $50 per air fill, in attempt to discourage them from diving.

Although drastic, the changes are designed to increase the fish population in the area. According to a 2009 study, one of the greatest contributors to the decline of marine life is the presence of ugly people in the water. The study, funded by the non-profit organization Reef Check, shows a clear relationship between fish counts and proximity to divers with faces like ten miles of bad road. “The facts don’t lie,” said one Reef Check volunteer, and co-author of the study, “Ugly people scare fish away.”
Marine conservation groups are heralding the changes, proclaiming this as a step in the right direction. “Ugly people have no place in the ocean,” says Oceans Foundations president and 2002 Miss California Lisa Peck, “Protecting our aquatic life means keeping divers who have been beat with the ugly stick where they belong: on dry land.” –Gary Baldi, reporting for The Surface Swim
 
Hilarious. There were times I was tempted to believe it. Are you sure it wasn't taken from the "Book of Caribbean Dive Vacations"?
 
Certainly this must involve some new type of PADI certification.
 
And I believed it (yeah, right). Good thing Catalina isn't in the O.C.
 
Is it a photo ID?

Only for the pretty people. If you are classified as one of the fugly people then the card is issued as Braille because only a blind person could stand to look at ya.
 
That's funny! And I don't doubt that someone will actually try to get something like that passed LOL!
 
https://www.shearwater.com/products/swift/

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