Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

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I'm hoping with great desperation that someone will post:
an anecdote about only needing to swim faster than ones buddy rather than faster than an attacking shark

an anecdote about stabbing ones buddy in case of possible shark attack

an anecdote about multiple size large fins all being mistaken for left fins due to an L marking​

because this thread sure does need more of those. Does nobody read threads before posting any more?
Actually, those are all here.
 
I'm hoping with great desperation that someone will post:
an anecdote about only needing to swim faster than ones buddy rather than faster than an attacking shark

an anecdote about stabbing ones buddy in case of possible shark attack

an anecdote about multiple size large fins all being mistaken for left fins due to an L marking​

because this thread sure does need more of those. Does nobody read threads before posting any more?

Actually, those are all here.

that's what mstevens meant
 
Actually, those are all here.

Yes.

I know.

Each of those appears in this thread at least three times. Thus far.

A couple of individual posters have posted the same anecdote more than once, too.

The entire 16-page thread doesn't take all that long to read. Why not check to see if something has already been posted a few times before saying the same thing again?
 
I just thought I would share a funny dive quote i heard on the boat last weekend when i was diving and wanted to see some other funny/stupid comments they have heard on scuba boats.

This advanced open water diver surfaces from his second 100+ foot dive of the day and says, "These new dive computers sucks, they put me into deco when I still had 1500 psi."

Luckily we found out he came out of deco as he surfaced but we couldnt believe a AOW diver didn't know the reason behind deco or even what deco mode was on a computer! He had too sit out the final dive.

Not knowing how to operate his equipment is seriously stupid.

---------- Post added January 24th, 2013 at 12:28 AM ----------

" I don't need fins, it makes it too hard to walk on the coral"

If someone really said that, it would be too sad to be funny.
 
I want diving with my nephew a few weeks ago. Weather was fair but a little foggy. Waves were flat so we decided to dive. When we finished and walking back up the hill to the car we encountered a couple coming down to take a walk. The wife was curious and asked us what was out there to see. We told her you can see fish, lobsters occasional small leopard shark, and the kelp. It was still a little foggy and she said, "Wow, you can see all that in the fog?". I said ,"sure, there's no fog underwater". Husband almost fell over laughing.
 
Yes.

I know.

Each of those appears in this thread at least three times. Thus far.

A couple of individual posters have posted the same anecdote more than once, too.

The entire 16-page thread doesn't take all that long to read. Why not check to see if something has already been posted a few times before saying the same thing again?

Sorry if I have repeated a story but I haven't the time to re read over 600 posts. Sorry if I have annoyed someone with a memory laps but I have enjoyed the thread. If someone else reposts something and I notice.. I will smile and go on to the next post. I kinda figure the reason this thread is still activated once in a while is because the people reading it are doing so to get a chuckle and not take it too seriously.
 
The entire 16-page thread doesn't take all that long to read. Why not check to see if something has already been posted a few times before saying the same thing again?

---------- Post added January 24th, 2013 at 07:34 AM ----------

The entire 16-page thread doesn't take all that long to read. Why not check to see if something has already been posted a few times before saying the same thing again?

The entire 16-page thread doesn't take all that long to read. Why not check to see if something has already been posted a few times before saying the same thing again?

Oh boy do I have egg on my face now :shakehead:.......word for word. I would say that great minds think alike but I know my mind too well :rofl3:

---------- Post added January 24th, 2013 at 07:35 AM ----------

francis.jpg
 
I once asked a really old diver if he pee'd in his wetsuit... he looked me dead in the eye and said "Why not? I pee my pants everyday!"
 
Me: "Can't wait to go diving again, but it's been a while. I hope I'm not too nervous on the first dive!"
NonDiving Friend: "Well, I have a few of these pills that are used to control anxiety... and something else."
Me: "So... you think that taking a drug that I've never used before, and one that I'm not prescribed for, right before I roll off of a boat into the ocean, with a tank strapped on my back ,for the first time in 3 years will make me LESS anxious? Hmmm. Maybe I should have a few drinks on the boat too?"

I think I'll stick with reviewing my training....
 
https://www.shearwater.com/products/peregrine/

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