Share any humorous moment while on a boat

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Yep, couple weeks ago in the Thousand Islands (Tony said he wouldn't tell, so I will). I was just returning from a long weekend of dry suit diving in Tobermory, switching to my wet suit as the temps are so much better. The wife has a new wet suit. We both suit up (always a long process, and no fun in the heat, and a fairly choppy day). Within moments of each other, we realize we BOTH have out wet suits on backward. My DS is a front zip, and my WS is a back zip. The wife's new suit is a back zip, and her old one was a front. The other guy on the boat just sat there very quietly...... OOPS!
 
A personal best for me (so far) ....

Dive #13, what could possibly go wrong?

It was the second dive of the day, and the waves over the wall were getting bigger (a good 6-8'), the briefing included, 'gear up, hop off and meet at 70 feet' since the waves were big, and the surface current was pretty quick (drift diving).

I was the last diver with the DM right behind me coming towards the dive platform, big wave came up, boat goes up, I go up, boat goes back down with the wave, and I'm airborne!

In the quick second of weightlessness above water, I decided it was better to fall into the ocean, than back onto the boat, so a tuck an roll and splash! Under I go.

Pop up long enough to see the captain rolling around laughing and the DM getting his last fin on as I give them the OK and descend.

50 minutes later after a great dive after the graceful entry, I come up and asked the DM if he saw me enter. He didn't as he was getting his gear on (he was helping the other divers get in the water). I asked the Captain what my final score was ......

A 1.6 in gracefulness and a 9.2 in flailing.


BRad
 
Not on a boat, but in that split second between jumping off the boat and hitting the water.

All geared up for diving in Barkley Sound on a drift dive from a live boat. Dry suit, steel tank, steel backplate 16lb of lead, mask, - plan to jump in close to the boat and retrieve the camera before current blows me away. On the swim grid, check bc inflator, check drysuit inflator, check alternate, three breaths from the main reg, giant stride from 3' up - hand holding mask - to realise that I have no fins on. Surfaced to laughter. Had to use the tag line to drag myself to the boat to retrieve both fins and camera.
 
I was on a tiny old fishing boat remade into a Livaboard on Pemba Island for 10 days with a group of 12. For that day the breakdown was the toilets. We had a daily breakdown. One of the ladies had diarrhea and simply couldn't hold it any more. We encouraged her to take a tag line and get in the water off the back of the boat while the boat continued to run.
She finally decided she'd have to do it,to the audience of the entire boat,including crew. I think many even took pictures and videos!
 
Not on a boat, but in that split second between jumping off the boat and hitting the water.

All geared up for diving in Barkley Sound on a drift dive from a live boat. Dry suit, steel tank, steel backplate 16lb of lead, mask, - plan to jump in close to the boat and retrieve the camera before current blows me away. On the swim grid, check bc inflator, check drysuit inflator, check alternate, three breaths from the main reg, giant stride from 3' up - hand holding mask - to realise that I have no fins on. Surfaced to laughter. Had to use the tag line to drag myself to the boat to retrieve both fins and camera.

I bet that first kick with no fins makes one feel pretty foolish - not that I'd know anything about that...
 
How about back at the car?
With 12L doubles on I sat down on the back of my friend's station wagon. The cargo area had this uneven ledge and a moment later the whole rig tilted backwards and went flat back into the car, trapping the long hose across my neck and under the tanks. I was trapped like a turtle on his back and everyone had a good laugh while I croaked "a little help here, please...".
 
My fiance told this story to me about something he did once. He was teaching an OW course and demonstrated doing a giant stride off the boat. He immediately popped back up to the surface and told his students very calmly, "and that's why we use weights when we dive." Then, he got back on the boat and got his weights.
 
Not sure if this qualifies as funny...but in Bonaire, we were getting back on to the boat after a dive at Klein Bonaire. One fellow was a looking a little upset. Some line etiquette had been broken, waiting to get back onto the boat. But what he said to his wife as he climbed on board, is still a quote my husband and I laugh at 14 years later. Picture much arm movements to get his wife's attention with a nasty little look on his face.....and the words "Above all else, the camera comes first!" as he passes it to her. I understand being protective of the camera, but he's not someone I would want as my dive buddy! We say this to each other periodically and just laugh :)
 
Dive number minus 5. In Hawaii I did a discover scuba. After a pool session met DM two hours later at the beach for my first ever dive. There was a DM, me in a swim suit, and a fellow from the northeast all dressed up in fancy gear coming along for a guided dive. DM asks Fancy how much weight. Fancy says 20 pounds. DM tries to talk him down but Fancy insists that he dives a lot in New York and knows what he needs. DM finally says ok. We wade out. I put on my fins and turn around in chest deep water. Fancy is trying go get his fins on. Fancy falls down. Then Fancy yells he has lost his fin and is looking for it. After he has looked for a few minutes I yell out that there is slow flow down the beach and he should look 20 yards to his left. Fancy goes there and finds his missing fin. Then we start out and begin the dive. I am enthralled with the underwater world. Spend some time next to a big sea turtle laying on the bottom. I look around and see DM. No Fancy. I indicate where is the other diver. DM points to the surface where Fancy is swimming looking down at us. Turns out Fancy had used up most of his air lugging the extra weight. DM and I stayed down an enjoyable additional 20 minutes and went back in, Fancy following us on the surface.
 
While diving off of a friend's small boat, I was all geared up, so I sat on the side and swung my legs over the side and slid off into the water....... Didn't realize I was sitting on a cleat. The cleat caught my wetsuit and ripped the whole left butt cheek out of it. I didn't know until I got back in the boat and several people asked me what happened. I was wondering during the dive why I was so cold.
 

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