Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here

[SC_Hoaty]

A blonde & her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog..
It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed
And her husband says, "The dog is still barking, What have you been doing?"

The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!

 

[pidgiepoo]

The Cow, the Ant and the Old Fart

> A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the
> three of them...
>
> The cow said, "I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that's why I am the
> greatest!"
>
> The ant said, "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times
> my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!"
>
>
>
>
>
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
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> .
>
> .

> Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to say something.

 

[pidgiepoo]

A man got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't
what they had in mind.

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realized he had made it home safely.



















Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.















I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to
rough him up a bit.















After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.





Nothing.

















Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested
positive for WD40.




















Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots....Your One Year Manufacturer's
Warranty Runs Out Soon.

















Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth UK.















An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan! He is making land Mines that
look like prayer mats! It’s doing well! Prophets are going through the roof!!















Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph
a woman with her mouth shut.


















A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband: 'I look horrible, I feel fat
and ugly, pay me a compliment.'





He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'















Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'





Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humor!























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[SC_Hoaty]

 

[TONY CHANEY]

"I have to tell you that I was kicked out of school."
"Really?"
"Yea, I was kicked out for having sex with my teacher!"
"Really? Man that is so bad."
"Yea, but what compounded the problem was that I was home schooled."

 

[dmoore19]

Know how to tell the difference between a Cowboy and a Politician?

The cowboy has the sh!t on the outside of the boots.

 

[MaxBottomtime]

Superman, The Flash and Quasimoto were discussing their individual achievements. Superman said he was the strongest man on Earth, and was very proud of that. Flash said he was the fastest man alive, and was proud of that. Quasimoto said he didn't have much to be proud of, other than the fact that he was probably the ugliest person alive. All three decided to ask the wizard if their claims were true. Superman came out of the wizard's room smiling, knowing that he was indeed the strongest. Flash came out knowing he was the fastest. Quasimoto came out of the wizard's room dejected. He asked the others,"Who the heck is Janet Reno?"

 

[JohnoAU]

Damn you Max!!! I had to Google that, what has been seen cannot be unseen!!!!

 

[JazzeD]

[FONT=&quot]THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, ONE OF THE MOST WORRYSOME IN YEARS![/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]25% of women in this country are on medication for mental illness.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]That's scary.......... It means 75% are running around untreated![/FONT]

 

[dmoore19]

CHINESE SICK LEAVE: ​

I NO COME WORK TODAY.​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]​

Wong Chow calls into work and says, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work..​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]​

The boss says, You know something, Wong Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That make everything better and I go to work.. You try that.​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]​

Two hours later Wong Chow calls again. I do what you say and I feel great... I be at work soon..... You got nice house.​